Assigned Seating - Yes or No

FutureMrsGlaze11313

PrettyGirlLost

Depends on your crowd.

Our venue was an historic mansion with seating all throughout the rooms of the 1st floor, so we had tables and chairs set up throughout. It wasn't like a banquet hall where everyone is in the same room, and it wasn't a sit down meal, it was more of a "cocktail" style reception with multiple food stations.

Because of this, and because we had mostly extroverted guests and many people who overlapped multiple social circles we did not have assigned seating. Many of our guests described the reception as a really big family dinner party with family they never even knew they had. They loved it.

So for us it worked. For other events or with other guests, it might be better to assign seats. Personally, I'm not always a fan, and the worst dining experiences I've had at weddings have been due to assigned seating and being placed at the Table of Misfit Toys.

Maggie0829

I voted no because I prefer assigned tables, not specific seats (unless that is what you meant and then you can switch my no to a yes).

As a guest I much prefer just being told what table I am sitting at.  It is one less thing that I have to worry about.  H and I won't have to have a conversation to figure out where to sit or who to sit with. It is already decided for us, so we just have to go and find our tables and sit down.  And if for some reason we are stuck at a table with people we don't know or who are boring, we know that once dinner is over with we can get up and move around.  It isn't like we are chained to our table all night long.

Jen4948

I'm not voting in this poll because there is no "Assigned tables only" option. That would be the best one. If such an option is added then I will vote for it.

InLoveInQueens

Another person not voting because there's no "Assigned tables" choice. I don't care either way about assigned seats but for most weddings assigned tables save a ton of headaches and wasted place settings.

FutureMrsGlaze11313

I meant assigned tables. If i try to change it, it goes through as a discussion not a poll.

FutureMrsGlaze11313

Do yall know how long it would take to assign 200 people to a specific chair?! LOL And trying to keep those people there... Hell no!

I just can't decide how i'm going to assign all the family tables. I'm sure grandparents would want to sit with parents and aunts and uncles. I think i might just have open seating.

thisismynickname2

FutureMrsGlaze11313 said:

Do yall know how long it would take to assign 200 people to a specific chair?! LOL And trying to keep those people there... Hell no!

I just can't decide how i'm going to assign all the family tables. I'm sure grandparents would want to sit with parents and aunts and uncles. I think i might just have open seating.

It's really not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. Dinner isn't very long, people mingle. People also don't fit nicely into packages of 8 or 10, so don't worry if you have a table of 8 here, 9 there, and 10 there, for example. 

With 200 people, I strongly advise you to assign tables and just do the best you can. Otherwise, you're going to need seating for well over 200 so the people who are latest to the seating game don't get stuck alone or with people they don't know, aren't comfortable with, etc. 

Maggie0829

FutureMrsGlaze11313 said:

Do yall know how long it would take to assign 200 people to a specific chair?! LOL And trying to keep those people there... Hell no!

I just can't decide how i'm going to assign all the family tables. I'm sure grandparents would want to sit with parents and aunts and uncles. I think i might just have open seating.

If you have open seating then you need to have at least 10% more seating for your guests.  So that means more chairs, more tables, centerpieces, linens, etc, etc, etc

ThxSugar

Open seating for 200 people sounds like too much. Why not ask your grandparents who they would like to have at their table? I am planning on doing that with my mother and FMIL.

Jen4948

FutureMrsGlaze11313 said:

Do yall know how long it would take to assign 200 people to a specific chair?! LOL And trying to keep those people there... Hell no!

I just can't decide how i'm going to assign all the family tables. I'm sure grandparents would want to sit with parents and aunts and uncles. I think i might just have open seating.

The point of a seating chart is not to "keep" anyone at an assigned seat but to ensure that they have someplace to sit. What tends to happen with unassigned seating is that the first guests in the reception area grab tables and "reserve" them, forcing guests who arrive later to walk around looking for available seats, and if there's a buffet, they have to carry heavy trays of food while they do it, while wearing dress shoes. And if they don't know other people at the wedding, it can feel like a school cafeteria where you're trying to get a seat at the "right" table. No one wants to feel like that at an event that's supposed to thank them for attending the wedding of someone who's close enough to them that their presence at the ceremony is an honor.

Also, part of being a good host means making sure everyone's needs, including having a guaranteed seat at the reception, are taken care of, so if you won't take the time to do that, you're not "honoring" your guests and your hosting skills are in question.

lnixon8

1. Split up your guest list into categories: Bride fam, groom fam (or bride #2 fam), his friends, your friends, joint friends etc. 

2. See if any of them naturally fall into groups of 10 (or 12 or whatever you need) or see who could gel together (ie: your college friends +FI's college friends; not great-grandmas + FI's frat brothers). I did this mostly by age (yes I know some people's grandparents can throw down but I know my college aged cousins would prefer to sit with other college aged people)

3. Try not to stress out about it. If there was a nasty divorce somewhere avoid seating those two together but as long as each person has SOMEONE they know with them there it will be fine. If I have tons of friends then  I expect to be seated with at least a couple of them, but I'm not surprised or upset if I'm seated with strangers

4. Its dinner. As long as you don't have ton of long speeches or force people to watch a slide show they'll eat, they'll introduce themselves and that's pretty much it. It is worth the hassle to assign tables. 

climbingsingle

Ask your VIPs who they'd like to sit with. Honestly, doing the seating chart was not that hard for me. I asked my MIL who she wanted to sit with, and my parents. After that, I just grouped people on if they knew each other or had common interests. 

Maggie0829

climbingwife said:

Ask your VIPs who they'd like to sit with. Honestly, doing the seating chart was not that hard for me. I asked my MIL who she wanted to sit with, and my parents. After that, I just grouped people on if they knew each other or had common interests. 

This was me as well.  I think it took me maybe 15 minutes to do our seating chart.  But H and I were lucky because there wasn't a huge amount of drama llamas to deal with.  But don't over think it.  Group people together who you think will like to sit together.  And just let what you come up with be it.

SaintPaulGal

Before I ever even thought about planning my own wedding I used to think that assigned seating was stuffy and controlling.  After all, why would the bride and groom care where I sat?  Is it going to ruin their "vision" if I, as a guest, am sitting on the left side of the room versus the right?

BUT then I started reading and thinking more deeply and I did a complete 180.  You know your guests better than they all know each other, so you know who might have something to talk about during dinner.  You know better than to put your raving conservative great aunt Mildred at the same table as your college roommate Dan and his husband Brian.  You wouldn't stick the single party girl at the table with a couple and their 7 kids.  But if everyone has to fend for themselves, that's how it may turn out.  Plus you have the awkwardness of having to walk around the room asking "do you mind if I sit here?"  

Well-thought-out table assignments.  Into it.

missa011

It literally took an hour for me to figure out tables. I will say my guest list DID split up very well (for example, all of our friends totaled 26 which were easy to put into 1 table of 10 and 2 tables of 8), but still, it's really not difficult. Ask your VIPs who they prefer to sit with and plan accordingly. 

As PPs have said, 200 people with open seating is basically a cluster. My friend did this and many people did not have seats, or were unable to sit with their families/friends. I highly recommend assigned tables.   

lyndausvi

Maggie0829 said:

climbingwife said:

Ask your VIPs who they'd like to sit with. Honestly, doing the seating chart was not that hard for me. I asked my MIL who she wanted to sit with, and my parents. After that, I just grouped people on if they knew each other or had common interests. 

This was me as well.  I think it took me maybe 15 minutes to do our seating chart.  But H and I were lucky because there wasn't a huge amount of drama llamas to deal with.  But don't over think it.  Group people together who you think will like to sit together.  And just let what you come up with be it.

add me to the list.

As RSVPs came in I started adding people to tables based on who they group up with.  Needed to a little tweaking after they all came in, but really it wasn't a hard at all.   All my aunts/uncles together, all the island people together.  All my parents friends together.   If you think about it, most people fit into a group naturally anyway.   

FutureMrsGlaze11313

I didnt think about all this. smh too stressed with other stuff. Thank y'all!

AddieCake

Yes to assigned tables.

primafaba15

Pleas please please, as someone who suffers from social anxiety, assigned tables. I have a wedding next week that is completely open seating, and the butterflies are kicking up just thinking about it. It's seriously like the high school cafeteria all over again, double that if I don't know a lot of people there (or if I'm not close to those people). 

We had a much smaller wedding, but what I ended up doing is buying a plain white posterboard and drawing out my floor plan. Then I wrote the names of all of the guests attending on sticky tabs (like you use for marking in books) color coded depending on whether they were my family, one of the branches of his family (which could not be allowed near each other), or friends. This made it much easier to visualize the layout, which tables were near which, etc., and to move the seats around as we played with ideas. We had too many people who didn't make a decision until last minute to really make hard decisions about tables until all the RSVPs were in -- but once they came in I think it took us roughly an hour, and that was with some difficult family dynamics. 

My family was only 2 of the 10 tables. I pretty much gave the tables to my parents, told them how many we could have at each of the tables per the venue, and let them tell me the arrangement they wanted.  Likewise, for any tables on H's side we couldn't figure out, we went to his Nana who is the go-to person on that side of the family, and she told us who should sit where. 

Other thing that helped us make decisions was trying to, for example, group tables near each other that would mesh well, and putting our college friends near the dance floor while putting tables with the grandmothers further back where they could sit comfortably once the dancing started (and NOT near the DJ's speakers!). Also thinking about things like walking distance to the bar, chef stations and restroom for the older relatives. 

[Deleted User]

Assigned table yes, assigned seats no. I would take an assigned seat over not knowing where to sit.

Did that once and it was super awkward. I had to go to 4-5 tables before I found a table with an empty seat that wasn't saved.

Knottie1431965334

We were just at a wedding that did not have assigned tables but had a table for the bridal party, 2 tables reserved for the bride's family, and one for the groom's family. We ended up sitting with friends of the bride's parents and ended up missing most of the cocktail hour because we had to sit and guard our seats for 40 minutes of it -- people were just moving other's people's stuff out of the way-- so the cocktail hour dragged.  They had overflow 3 tables outside on the lawn and that is where the groom's parents sat.  Multiple guests just said it was too stressful. So yes while it is annoying for you it is so much less stressful for your guests.

spockforprez

I voted no, but I think there are situations where it's more beneficial than others. For us, we are inviting 92 to our backyard wedding and expecting 75-80, nearly all family. We will have seating and tables for 100 regardless of RSVP #'s (unless it goes really low like 50-60, and then we'd adjust), and no assigned tables. Our tables are the banquet style, not round, and will be in long lines. Centerpieces are candles and beer bottles with flowers, so I don't have to worry about paying $50 per arrangement for extra round tables or anything. For all these reasons, I really don't anticipate any issues not assigning tables.

adwks

I don't think it's necessary but you do have to think of your guests comfort. Will there be lots of people who only know a few folks? Will there be odd numbered families? It's hard to find a seat sometimes if you don't know anyone at the wedding, but it can also be super awkward to be a family of five and try and find seating at a table of 8. So those can be good reasons for assigned seating.

On the other hand if you do assigned seating still think of your guests. Don't sit the one friend who only knows one or two other people with people they don't know because there's a "singles table" I've been there that's awkward and no fun. 

So I guess I'm just saying that while not necessary assigned tables can be good things, just be considerate of the people you are hosting.