Wedding Woes

Um, plan the wedding *YOU* can afford?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited October 2015 in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudie,
I grew up in a wealthy family and my father has always been obsessed with money. It is everything to him; it’s how he defines himself and his relationships. Unfortunately, our family lost everything due to the financial crisis and my parents’ divorce. My father spiraled into depression and addiction and lost his companies. Now he’s been sober for a year and is trying to regain his fortune and reputation. This wouldn’t really affect or bother me except I just got engaged and now the wedding has become a part of my father’s quest to reclaim the life he once led. All his peers’ daughters’ weddings have been in the $100,000 range, and he thinks that’s what I need too—I don’t. He constantly talks about how little he has and how much he will have. But now that I am planning the wedding, I do need some financial help and it would be nice to have an idea of how much he can offer. I’ve broached this lightly but he just keeps saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll be rich next year!” which isn’t helpful. How do I get an honest and practical answer out of him without offending him?

—Bills Coming Due

Re: Um, plan the wedding *YOU* can afford?

  • Clearly this bride needs to whip Daddy-O up into shape, and get him to take out his credit cards and book the Ritz ASAP.  Gotta deep up with the Jones's, and we can't have Daddy shirking his fatherly duty to provide his little girl with the wedding of her dreams!
  • i'm guessing they took away his black card when he lost it all - otherwise she could just charge it all. 
  • Oh brother...  Can you imagine how this would go over on many of the boards here...  She doesn't need financial assistance, she needs to budget better for what she can afford...

  • Try telling him that you would prefer to be practical.  Tell him you have this covered but that when his ship comes back in he can help you & your new husband put a down payment on a house.  It doesn't matter if you don't take him up on that or if he never comes through.  It's a concrete thing he can focus on but keeps him from encouraging you to overspend now. 
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