Selfish things you like to do

CMGragain

I have been been a spirited discussion about the definition of the word "selfish" on another board.  I maintain that it is good to be selfish at times.  Here are some of the selfish things I like to do:

Eat chocolate.
Buy a bottle of expensive perfume
Watch my favorite old movies on TCM.
Sleep late.

What are your selfish indulgences?

particuliersylphe

Oh, I'll play! I am not sure what constitutes as selfish but...

When my bottle of Angel starts getting low I slyly refill it..because it smells amazing and makes me feel awesome.

I am also a culprit of liking to sleep late.

Whenever we go home to MD (which is not often) I treat myself to a 4 pack of my favorite semi expensive craft beer, its lavender flavored and amazing. I do not share this beverage, ever. 

Also, a nice wedge of manchego once in a while

CMGragain

Selfish:  seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.  (Miriam Webster)

When I was a Mommy with young children, I felt like I never had any "me time".  Now that I am older, it's OK to do things that have nothing to do with other people.

PS.  My grown children live in Columbia, MD.

particuliersylphe

Well, in that case I suppose my Lavender beer example definitely falls under selfish

I do not have children, so I suppose I defintely have more "me time" at my disposal. I am a firm believer in that a little "me time" for everyone is good at least once in a while. Even if it is as simple as a nice, relaxing bath. I know sometimes "me time" can be hard to come by.

Columbia is nice, my best friend lives in that area now. I grew up in northern Harford County.

JediElizabeth

I'll play too! 

Expensive (for me) Scotch. Only very rarely do I get a bottle, never even as high as the $100 range, and it lasts me a year on average, but I'm a sucker for a good smokey Scotch every now and then.

Baking. I love to do it, and I rarely eat any of what I make. I actually kinda feel bad for feeding people all the sugar & empty calories, but they like it.

I sleep late, too, and will stay up until 3 am or later if I'm writing with nothing to do in the morning. Rarely these days since I'm up at 7 for work, but whenever I get a chance. 

My worst: Now that I'm spending so much time on my thesis and work, I'll sometimes actively ask my FI and roommate to find other friends' houses to hang out at for the night so I can relax. Cosmos, mani/pedis & chick flicks are not something I can indulge in with 2 guys around.

kvruns

JediElizabeth said:

I'll play too! 

Expensive (for me) Scotch. Only very rarely do I get a bottle, never even as high as the $100 range, and it lasts me a year on average, but I'm a sucker for a good smokey Scotch every now and then.

Baking. I love to do it, and I rarely eat any of what I make. I actually kinda feel bad for feeding people all the sugar & empty calories, but they like it.

I sleep late, too, and will stay up until 3 am or later if I'm writing with nothing to do in the morning. Rarely these days since I'm up at 7 for work, but whenever I get a chance. 

My worst: Now that I'm spending so much time on my thesis and work, I'll sometimes actively ask my FI and roommate to find other friends' houses to hang out at for the night so I can relax. Cosmos, mani/pedis & chick flicks are not something I can indulge in with 2 guys around.

Whenever I bake I always eat way too much of it so I pretty much stopped baking except for special occasions

kvruns

 I took the day off work yesterday, my first "mental health" day in years. Normally a day off is for vacation, to take off for something with H/mom/friend.  I specifically didn't mention it to anyone so I could be assured to have a day to myself to do whatever I wanted.

kimmiinthemitten

I lived with my best friend for 5 years before moving in with FI.  She's my original life partner, so we have dinner together every Wednesday.  FI even jokes that I get testy if we miss our weekly dinner date.

Laundry.  FI owns far less clothes than I do and therefore needs to do laundry far more often.  I intentionally don't start loads unless I'm really out of things I like because I know he will (shhh - don't tell!)

lnixon8

I purposefully wait to do my nails until my husband is around so I can have him do little things like get me a glass of water, change the channel etc.He's just happy I don't spend money to get my nails done in a salon!

missa011

particuliersylphe that beer sounds amazing!

I agree, it's good to be selfish sometimes. Everyone needs to take care of themselves.

It won't happen much anymore because she moved halfway across the country, but my most selfish thing was bi-monthly drink nights with my BFF when I wouldn't get home till 2AM. FI was left with PB&J or pizza for dinner those nights

A selfish thing I ask of FI is to wake up most mornings at 6:30 and drive me to the train station when I'm too tired/lazy/cold to walk. He doesn't usually have to be up till 8:15 or later, but sometimes I just need that.

thefanciestbeckler

Sometimes, if DH isn't home for dinner (which is rare) I cook myself fancier food than I would if he was there. Men just eat so much, and he basically swallows his food whole! I love to cook, and I like to feel like what I make is appreciated. So I kinda figure if he's hardly going to taste it no matter how long I spend on it, why bother making something that requires lots of effort??

ETA: Also, I buy expensive makeup. I had severe acne in my early 20's, so I am VERY picky about what I put on my skin. I don't buy expensive purses, shoes, clothes, etc. like some girls do, so this is non-negotiable for me. Thankfully DH is completely understanding of this

lnixon8

particuliersylphe said:

Oh, I'll play! I am not sure what constitutes as selfish but...

When my bottle of Angel starts getting low I slyly refill it..because it smells amazing and makes me feel awesome.

I am also a culprit of liking to sleep late.

Whenever we go home to MD (which is not often) I treat myself to a 4 pack of my favorite semi expensive craft beer, its lavender flavored and amazing. I do not share this beverage, ever. 

Also, a nice wedge of manchego once in a while

I live in MD- what's the name of the beer?

Jells2dot0

I feel like my life is the epitome of selfishness. I completely recognize this about myself and do not have kids because of it. Pretty much the only other person I have regard for on a daily basis is my H, however, he usually benefits from my selfishness. I mean, who wouldn't want to have a lot of "me" time, travel the world, eat at nice restaurants, and drive nice cars?

I know this makes me sound wretched, but I do have friends and family that I will do anything for. I am just not that close to them location-wise and we do not speak regularly.

particuliersylphe

lnixon8 said:

particuliersylphe said:

Oh, I'll play! I am not sure what constitutes as selfish but...

When my bottle of Angel starts getting low I slyly refill it..because it smells amazing and makes me feel awesome.

I am also a culprit of liking to sleep late.

Whenever we go home to MD (which is not often) I treat myself to a 4 pack of my favorite semi expensive craft beer, its lavender flavored and amazing. I do not share this beverage, ever. 

Also, a nice wedge of manchego once in a while

I live in MD- what's the name of the beer?

****mobile isn't showing box****

It is "Of Love and Regret" by Stillwater. I can only ever find it at a store in Hunt Valley (sometimes) or in the bottle shop at "Of Love and Regret" in Brewers Hill downtown.

lyndausvi

Jells2dot0 said:

I feel like my life is the epitome of selfishness. I completely recognize this about myself and do not have kids because of it. Pretty much the only other person I have regard for on a daily basis is my H, however, he usually benefits from my selfishness. I mean, who wouldn't want to have a lot of "me" time, travel the world, eat at nice restaurants, and drive nice cars?

I know this makes me sound wretched, but I do have friends and family that I will do anything for. I am just not that close to them location-wise and we do not speak regularly.

this is me.     

Although I would have had kids, but it just didn't work out for us (not for a lack of trying naturally). I wasn't going to spend a shit ton of money and emotions in order to have a kid. 

 I like my life.

princessleia22

Probably my biggest selfish act is choosing to not have kids.  We like having our freedom... and our money. We also have some other issues that play into this decision, but honestly, we are happy with our life as it is.

I get a professional massage every 3 weeks.  I don't know if that's really selfish, since it doesn't really affect anyone else. Well, it does when I leave work early for it, I guess. But, my back muscles get super knotted up (due to scoliosis) and I consider the massages as medically necessary... plus, it just feels awesome.

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

ryanandjoe4

I love to craft and bake they calm me down so when I am upset I usually default to one of these, and even the dogs know to stay out of the tiny kitchen..

I have recently got my horse back from being leased out for 6 years, he is the one thing that makes me get "me" time every week, I board him and everything but stall cleaning is included, but this can be stress relieving at the end of the day (I only have to do one, sometimes help out the barn owner with some tho). Riding is my ultimate "me" time, and starting to show my horse again is the my ultimate selfish thing..

lyndausvi

princessleia22 said:

Probably my biggest selfish act is choosing to not have kids.  We like having our freedom... and our money. We also have some other issues that play into this decision, but honestly, we are happy with our life as it is.

I get a professional massage every 3 weeks.  I don't know if that's really selfish, since it doesn't really affect anyone else. Well, it does when I leave work early for it, I guess. But, my back muscles get super knotted up (due to scoliosis) and I consider the massages as medically necessary... plus, it just feels awesome.

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

So jealous.

I'm getting at least 2 when I go down to the islands.   Maybe even 3.      

wandajune6

I don't see how not having kids is selfish. Just the opposite.

I want kids. Or at least one of my own. So badly it hurts. It's not going to happen for us naturally so it's a huge expenditure. We could adopt (and may end up doing that). But we don't need a kid. We could spend all of our money on The Kid (though I don't think that would help him). It feels selfish to want one. I'll skip the long philosophical debate that will piss everyone off but I'm throwing this out there.

Other than my babymaking, one of my favorite selfish things: wandajune nights. Sometimes after I've been working too much, I take a night off. The boys love fast food too much so I let them fend for themselves on crap while I feast on something I love. Lately, when I visit a client on the other side of town, I'll stop and get piles of banchan, the Korean side dishes, at the local Korean grocery. I'll eat that with/in homemade bibimbop. The boys think it's disgusting and hate the smell of kimchi. I'll stink up the room eating it while watching Hallmark Channel movies in the spare bedroom. It's pretty amazing.

(Also, does it seem like all of the Lifetime movies are about crimes/violence now? I want the cheesy romantic crap!)

princessleia22

lyndausvi said:

princessleia22 said:

Probably my biggest selfish act is choosing to not have kids.  We like having our freedom... and our money. We also have some other issues that play into this decision, but honestly, we are happy with our life as it is.

I get a professional massage every 3 weeks.  I don't know if that's really selfish, since it doesn't really affect anyone else. Well, it does when I leave work early for it, I guess. But, my back muscles get super knotted up (due to scoliosis) and I consider the massages as medically necessary... plus, it just feels awesome.

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

So jealous.

I'm getting at least 2 when I go down to the islands.   Maybe even 3.      

I found a massage school near me that does massage by licensed professional for $40.  Then, over the summer they had a sale where you could buy gift certificates for professional massage for $25... I stocked up and bought 10 of them.  So, it only costs me $25 for a 1-hour massage.  But, I often will upgrade it to a 90-minute massage, which costs only $10 more. I probably couldn't afford to get them that often if I didn't get them so cheap.

lyndausvi

princessleia22 said:

lyndausvi said:

princessleia22 said:

Probably my biggest selfish act is choosing to not have kids.  We like having our freedom... and our money. We also have some other issues that play into this decision, but honestly, we are happy with our life as it is.

I get a professional massage every 3 weeks.  I don't know if that's really selfish, since it doesn't really affect anyone else. Well, it does when I leave work early for it, I guess. But, my back muscles get super knotted up (due to scoliosis) and I consider the massages as medically necessary... plus, it just feels awesome.

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

So jealous.

I'm getting at least 2 when I go down to the islands.   Maybe even 3.      

I found a massage school near me that does massage by licensed professional for $40.  Then, over the summer they had a sale where you could buy gift certificates for professional massage for $25... I stocked up and bought 10 of them.  So, it only costs me $25 for a 1-hour massage.  But, I often will upgrade it to a 90-minute massage, which costs only $10 more. I probably couldn't afford to get them that often if I didn't get them so cheap.

That is awesome.

I'm a big fan of 85-min massages.  55 min isn't long enough.

sunflower0592

I'll admit that I'm a selfish person, when it's appropriate. There's a lot of things I like to do for myself, simply because I can, and they're things that make me happy. I don't want kids (though I don't view this as selfish) and I really enjoy spending money on myself. My schedule is a little different from my FI's so I really like my alone time at home when he's at work or has night class. Some things I like to do that immediately come to mind:

-Spending money on my horse habit

-Making time to work out 4-5 days/week

-Starbuck's several times a week

WinstonsGirl

Yeah, us not having kids isn't selfish.  I refuse to have kids before I'm 100% sure I want them (DH is more willing) and am willing to put in the proper time and effort required to raise them well.  Selfish is having them and then not raising them properly, IMO.  

Selfish is that DH is usually the one to go downstairs to grab things - water, snacks, ice packs, etc.  I'm lazy and he doesn't mind doing it, so he usually does.  He's pretty amazing like that.  

doeydo

I think that treating yourself and practicing self care is very healthy and beneficial. I like to: buy new clothes, eat a dessert every night, occasionally dine out, have bubble baths, lie in bed and rewatch my favourite movies, and sketch dresses.

Jells2dot0

WinstonsGirl said:

Yeah, us not having kids isn't selfish.  I refuse to have kids before I'm 100% sure I want them (DH is more willing) and am willing to put in the proper time and effort required to raise them well.  Selfish is having them and then not raising them properly, IMO.  

Selfish is that DH is usually the one to go downstairs to grab things - water, snacks, ice packs, etc.  I'm lazy and he doesn't mind doing it, so he usually does.  He's pretty amazing like that.  

this is why I do not want kids. If I had kids, I'd want to raise them like I was raised by my mother. I'm just not maternal like that and I would resent having to give up my current life to be the mom I'd want my kids to have. My dad, on the other hand, had kids and basically did nothing except throw money at the situation. He should have never had kids, and since I'm my father's daughter, I see me turning into that person. So, I made the smart decision to not go down that same road.

thisismynickname2

princessleia22 said:

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

This is totally me and DH. It actually boggles my mind that he gets irritated when I'm reading too much and not paying attention to him. How is watching the same tv show as him paying attention to him, because that's what we'd be doing otherwise. Plus, if I'm watching a show and he's reading stuff on the internet, somehow I manage not to bitch that he's not paying attention to me. I don't get it. 

So I would say unabashedly spending hours reading (at the expense of housework or talking to DH) is my selfish activity. We travel a lot and I think that costs us time with our friends too, but, most of them have kids and socializing with them means planning a month in advance, so, whatever. 

ryanandjoe4

thisismynickname said:

princessleia22 said:

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

This is totally me and DH. It actually boggles my mind that he gets irritated when I'm reading too much and not paying attention to him. How is watching the same tv show as him paying attention to him, because that's what we'd be doing otherwise. Plus, if I'm watching a show and he's reading stuff on the internet, somehow I manage not to bitch that he's not paying attention to me. I don't get it. 

So I would say unabashedly spending hours reading (at the expense of housework or talking to DH) is my selfish activity. We travel a lot and I think that costs us time with our friends too, but, most of them have kids and socializing with them means planning a month in advance, so, whatever. 

I read a lot as well, I have learned to read when he is occupied, so if he is watching football I read, I can read anywhere, so I am able to read while he yells and cranks the volume. I also have to read to fall asleep most nights.

princessleia22

thisismynickname said:

princessleia22 said:

I love it when DH works late or has class, because I love my "me" time.  He seriously hates books and I can't read when he's home. He gets jealous that I'm focusing on a book instead of spending time with him.  I think it mainly bugs him because it's the one activity that I do where I get upset if he interrupts me or tries to talk to me.  So, I love it when he's not home and I can read without him bugging me. Or, I will sometimes go do squats on my Total Gym because I can read while doing it and he doesn't feel jealous about me exercising or try to bother me then.

This is totally me and DH. It actually boggles my mind that he gets irritated when I'm reading too much and not paying attention to him. How is watching the same tv show as him paying attention to him, because that's what we'd be doing otherwise. Plus, if I'm watching a show and he's reading stuff on the internet, somehow I manage not to bitch that he's not paying attention to me. I don't get it. 

So I would say unabashedly spending hours reading (at the expense of housework or talking to DH) is my selfish activity. We travel a lot and I think that costs us time with our friends too, but, most of them have kids and socializing with them means planning a month in advance, so, whatever. 

Same, here.  He will be playing games on his phone, looking at stuff on the internet, or watching tv and not interacting with me anyway, so what difference does it make if I'm reading???  I think it's because if I'm watching tv or something, I don't get quite as annoyed when he wants to show me some stupid video of some guy jumping off a building or whatever.  But, if I'm reading, I get really annoyed when he interrupts me to show me stupid shit that I don't care about.