Moms and Maids

Male bridesmaid??

My fiancé and I just got engaged a couple months ago. Although we don’t plan on getting married for a couple years (because we are both still in school), I am already trying to figure out how I want our wedding to look.

I am wondering how common it is to have a male bridesmaid (I guess brides-man?). One of my longest and closest friends is a male and I would love for him to be a part of my wedding. But, I don’t want to offend anyone else by going against tradition.My fiance hardly knows him, so I don't want him to be weirded out, and my future in laws are pretty conservative, so I don't want them to have anything negative to say. Just looking for some guidance/suggestions.

Re: Male bridesmaid??

  • 2 of my 6 bridespeople are men. 2 of my FI's groomspeople are female. Nothing weird about it.

    Don't worry about gender when it comes to your bridal party. I'll also put out a generalization and say that a FI getting upset or weirded out by that is probably a cautionary sign - you should probably talk about it, get your friends and your FI to know each other better, etc.

    As for your FILs, as PP said, it's absolutely none of their business, and IMHO you should be the one side-eying anyone who would judge you for a mixed-gender BP.
    Blue_Birdlnixon8[Deleted User]
  • Sides need not be even.
    Sides need not be segregated by gender.
    And your side is composed of your nearest and dearest so your friend need not be close to your FI.

    So you can totally ask your friend to be a bridesman. I don't see how having him on your side would offend anyone (unless you make him wear a dress and that's not his thing!).


    Now, I will offer the alternative: Assuming your ceremony has them, you could always ask him if he'd like to do a reading during the ceremony. That is also an honor but it isn't for everyone (not everyone is into public speaking).

    But really, if you want him standing by you, totally ask him. Just wait until your wedding is a little closer to ask.
    InLoveInQueensSP29
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It is way too early to be asking anyone to be in your BP.  But, sides don't have to be even, having mixed genders is fine, and it's nobody's business but yours who you want on your side.  


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    zitiqueenBlue_BirdInLoveInQueens
  • Too early!  Don't worry about this until you are about 9 month away from your wedding!  This causes more trouble than any other issue on The Knot.
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    AddieCakeBlue_BirdInLoveInQueens
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It's very common. My husband had a groomswoman.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • DO IT!!!!!  I am actually not having a MOH, my brother is going to be my man of honor, and my fiancee is actually going to have one of his female friends stand up on his side with him (I have never met her before).  Don't worry about what your future in laws may or may not say.  It is not up to them, and it is not their wedding.
  • I agree with pp's, it is too early to ask. I will also say I was a groomswoman at my brother's wedding and I was also a bridesmaid in a wedding that had a man of honor. Noone gave a fuck, a shit or a rat's ass. If you want him your wedding party, ask him. Anyone who clutches their pearls needs to get over themselves.

    [Deleted User]
  • DH and I had mixed gender sides. We called them Bride's/Groom's attendants. At the rehearsal some people looked confused, as we worked walking up the aisle, but the wedding itself went off beautifully.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • I'm thinking of asking my cousin to be my best man.  The program would have a Bride's Best Man and a Groom's Best Man.
  • I had a bridesman, it worked out great. He loved it and I was so glad he was able to stand up on my side. I think my parents thought it was a little weird but they are very traditional. Everyone else thought it was awesome but honestly I wouldn't care if they didn't. He's been one of my best friends since I met him so why shouldn't he get to stand next to me just because of his gender!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • HeatherKatHeatherKat the Frozen Tundra member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I was supposed to have a bridesdude, but he dropped out due to costs. I've also been in a WP that had equal amounts of guys and girls on the bride's side. It's all about who's closest to you.
    Amor vincet omnia.... par liones.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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  • One of my best guy friends is in my bridal party as well, and my fiance's sister and one of his best friends are in his wedding party. His dad had his female best friend in his wedding party as well. We figured we want our closest there to support us regardless of gender :) I am sure your wedding party will look lovely!
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