My FI is from a huge (by my standards anyway) extended family, she has 24 first cousins. FMIL expects us to ask each and every one of them to be in the wedding party. FI doesn't want to ask them (we weren't actually intending to invite most of them), she's not close to any of them, she just intends to ash her brother and 3 friends to be in her bridal party, and I intend only to ask four of my friends.
The thing is, FFIL and FMIL are paying for almost half of the wedding. We're quite happy to give back the money if those are the conditions, but I also know they will be massively insulted if we do, and it could very well cause a huge fall out between FMIL, FFIL, FI and I, and we really don't want that.
We're just kind of lost as to what to do. I guess this was more of a vent than anything.