Dress stress

kmw201

I am having major dress anxiety! Over the summer I went out dress shopping with no intention of buying my dress that day , went to a small bridal shop in my town with my daughter and tried on 3 dresses and absolutely fell in love with the last one and bought it on the spot (it was a sample dress on sale for 1/3 of the original price). I still adore my dress but after going to some wedding shows and watching say yes to the dress with my hubby he has stated multiple times that he absolutely despises the style dress I have (he never saw my dress). He would like a non strapless dress that covers my back (even though we are getting married on a beach) he also hates poofy/Ruffled bottoms. I showed him 10 dresses all different styles and asked him to rate them , he rated mine a zero! After seeing me get upset he now says he will love whatever I wear But now I have dress regret and now he has a pretty good idea of what my dress looks like! This weekend I went dress shopping again and fell in love with another dress, still strapless but can add a cap sleeve and even though the bottom is still poofy and is the more traditional look that he likes. My original dress cannot be returned and he was extremely happy that I bought it at a local business. The new dress is not carried by that shop so I would have to get it out of town. He knows I want to change my dress now and says it's silly because I got such a good deal the first time but knowing he hates the style I really want to change it. I have also tried on dresses that have the illusion tops or lace up top like he likes but hate them.
Pics of dresses are attached

kimmiinthemitten

kmw201 said:

I am having major dress anxiety! Over the summer I went out dress shopping with no intention of buying my dress that day , went to a small bridal shop in my town with my daughter and tried on 3 dresses and absolutely fell in love with the last one and bought it on the spot (it was a sample dress on sale for 1/3 of the original price). I still adore my dress but after going to some wedding shows and watching say yes to the dress with my hubby he has stated multiple times that he absolutely despises the style dress I have (he never saw my dress). He would like a non strapless dress that covers my back (even though we are getting married on a beach) he also hates poofy/Ruffled bottoms. I showed him 10 dresses all different styles and asked him to rate them , he rated mine a zero! After seeing me get upset he now says he will love whatever I wear But now I have dress regret and now he has a pretty good idea of what my dress looks like! This weekend I went dress shopping again and fell in love with another dress, still strapless but can add a cap sleeve and even though the bottom is still poofy and is the more traditional look that he likes. My original dress cannot be returned and he was extremely happy that I bought it at a local business. The new dress is not carried by that shop so I would have to get it out of town. He knows I want to change my dress now and says it's silly because I got such a good deal the first time but knowing he hates the style I really want to change it. I have also tried on dresses that have the illusion tops or lace up top like he likes but hate them. Pics of dresses are attached

Keep your dress!  It's easy to pick something apart when it's on a mannequin but on your wedding day your FI is only going to see you, not a dress.

FWIW, I just asked FI to go through and pick dresses he doesn't like and why.  He apparently hates ballroom and trumpet gowns, sleeves and off-white dresses.  Hilarious exercise, but very telling.  I then showed him this photo and he thought it was a pretty dress (because he likes Amy Adams).  Point made!

justsie

I agree with PP, keep the dress you like. I did the same thing with my fiance and my ring. Unknown to me he was showing my styles and slipped the one he bought me in there. I said I didn't like some aspect of it, but he held on to it and used it anyway to propose. I couldn't imagine any other ring on my finger because it means more to me now then it did in a picture, and he picked it out on his own. So go with your first pick, you know what looks good on you and your FI doesn't have the benefit of seeing you in the dress yet. 

MesmrEwe

Stick with the dress you purchased.  And "STEP AWAY FROM THE SYTTD!!!!"  Unless your FI's name is Randy, trust that you know how awesome that dress looked on you and how awesome you felt when you put it on.  Unless somehow the dress is going to ruin your day, stick with what you already purchased!  If it is going to ruin your day for some reason, then go ahead and go shopping, but really, you're going to look awesome in the dress you already chose...

climbingsingle

I never even considered my then FI's opinion when picking out a dress. I'm sorry, but I think that's a little silly. Wear the dress you fell in love with. Don't go changing it because you think he won't like it! 

missa011

100% agree with PPs. Especially climbingwife; you should feel beautiful in your dress, regardless of how you think he might feel. Also, he is going to think you look beautiful no matter what!

And while FI watches a ton of SYTTD with me, he readily admits that he has no idea what he's talking about and doesn't expect me to listen to his opinions on wedding dresses. But, I also agree that you should stop watching it if it's giving you stress/second guessing yourself. You loved your first dress for a reason!

Maggie0829

climbingwife said:

I never even considered my then FI's opinion when picking out a dress. I'm sorry, but I think that's a little silly. Wear the dress you fell in love with. Don't go changing it because you think he won't like it! 

Me too.  Any future spouse should know that even if you hate the dress, you say you love it and that she looks beautiful.

julieanne912

Uh yeah, I definitely didn't have FI in mind when I was picking my dress.  I did ask him ahead of time if there was anything he absolutely hated, and he said he thought giant ballgowns were dumb.  That was fine, because I wasn't exactly wanting a giant ballgown anyway.  

CMGragain

kmw201 said:

I am having major dress anxiety! Over the summer I went out dress shopping with no intention of buying my dress that day , went to a small bridal shop in my town with my daughter and tried on 3 dresses and absolutely fell in love with the last one and bought it on the spot (it was a sample dress on sale for 1/3 of the original price). I still adore my dress but after going to some wedding shows and watching say yes to the dress with my hubby he has stated multiple times that he absolutely despises the style dress I have (he never saw my dress). He would like a non strapless dress that covers my back (even though we are getting married on a beach) he also hates poofy/Ruffled bottoms. I showed him 10 dresses all different styles and asked him to rate them , he rated mine a zero! After seeing me get upset he now says he will love whatever I wear But now I have dress regret and now he has a pretty good idea of what my dress looks like! This weekend I went dress shopping again and fell in love with another dress, still strapless but can add a cap sleeve and even though the bottom is still poofy and is the more traditional look that he likes. My original dress cannot be returned and he was extremely happy that I bought it at a local business. The new dress is not carried by that shop so I would have to get it out of town. He knows I want to change my dress now and says it's silly because I got such a good deal the first time but knowing he hates the style I really want to change it. I have also tried on dresses that have the illusion tops or lace up top like he likes but hate them. Pics of dresses are attached

I am confused.  Are you already married?