To Keep the Dress Or Not

CPratt22

My now ex-fiancé broke up with me about 2 days after I bought my wedding dress. This was back in May. I was unable to cancel the order for my dress. The store did offer to sell the dress at a discounted price if someone wanted the same dress in my color and size. They tried to do this prior to it coming in, but it has not sold. My dress has now come in and I don't know if I want to keep it or not. The dress is beautiful! I never was able to picture myself walking down the aisle to my fiancé when I tried it on. I was able to picture walking down the aisle in the dress, but I couldn't picture my fiancé at the altar waiting for me. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. Any advice would be great! Thank you!

Maggie0829

Well you don't have to make any rush decision now, but think to the future.  

If/when you get engaged again, will you want to wear that dress?  Or will you want to shop for something else?  And when you bought this dress did you buy it not only because you loved it but because it fit with the style wedding you were planning?  What if your future wedding is nothing like your now canceled one?  Would you still want to wear the dress?

If you feel like you will want to shop for a newer dress then I suggest trying to sell yours on a site like preownedweddingdresses.com

But in the end, you have time to decide what to do.  Why not wait until the new year to see what you may feel like.

MesmrEwe

I'd say go ahead and get the dress listed if you don't want to keep it.  A friend's daughter had a similar situation - only she'd actually won the dress in a contest only for the split to happen about a month later and the shop said "it's yours to do what you want with it"...  I believe she sold it on Craigslist and got cash for it from a bride looking for that same gown.  She found the experience "freeing"..

If you do want to keep it for a while that's o.k. too.  It's a grieving process in a sense, and you never know, the universe may have something in store for that dress...  I've heard many "My friend is getting married and can't afford a dress, I gave her the one from my broken off engagement" type stories.  All things of their own time/pace for you!!! 

STARMOON44

Sell it ASAP. It will always remind you of bad times.

indigo26

Honestly I donated mine to a local charity that does a lot of good work in our community. I guess I wanted to see something good come out of something sad. 

And I'll echo the fact that the next wedding you plan may be totally different than the one that didn't happen. My first planned one was nothing like the one I'm going to have next July. 

doeydo

I felt the exact same way when I tried on my dress.  I knew I loved the dress and I picked one that I think is kind of classic, so I am keeping mine until I marry the right person.  Ultimately it is up to you and how you feel.

[Deleted User]

This happened to me but I was able to get a small store credit. Don't keep the dress. The dress I am wearing for my wedding is so different then the one I bought years ago. Your tastes change, styles change, and it's a memory you don't need.

southernbelle0915

I would sell it, personally. For me, it would be a symbol of "that" wedding.

But of you can't afford to take the loss or don't see it that way, hang onto it. This type of decision really boils down to how you feel.

Heffalump

All else being equal, I'd probably sell it and start fresh.  Not just for karma, but because what you love now may not be what you love then.  And the longer you hold onto the dress, the harder it may be to unload, due to changing trends.

NicRen17

The exact same thing happened to me (except my ex-Fi left me the morning of my wedding). I didn't know what to do with the dress and it stayed at my mom's for almost 3 years. When my current-Fi and I got engaged and started talking about wedding plans, the dress came up. He knew about my past experiences and he asked me my personal opinion about my dress and how I felt about it. My dress was something I did with my mom and my girlfriends at the time. It was all about me and my opinions and how I felt being in the dress. I tried it on a few months ago to make sure it still fit and didn't need any changes and I felt even more beautiful knowing I would be walking down the aisle to my current FI wearing this dress.

Its all about you and how you feel and how your FI may feel. Depending on what's going and what state of mind you/Fi are in. 

doclago

IF you really love the dress and bought it for you, not for him, keep it and wear it for the right guy!!!  It's one less thing you would have to worry about planning wise and financially later on! 

HappyAnjel

Its ultimately up to you.. but I would probably get rid of it.

 I've never been in that situation, but I can tell you that I loved a dress I saw when shopping for my friends wedding long before I was engaged to my husband, and the dress I ended up with for my wedding was TOTALLY different.  I had tried on the dream dress, and felt totally blah in it.

  I have gained and lost weight, and my body and tastes are just different now. plus my wedding ended up being more formal than I originally thought that I wanted and the other dress just didn't match that vision.

Chibichaos

try selling it on ebay or another website of that sorts. Maybe you could make a donation to someone who is not able to afford one at all.

[Deleted User]

Have a "Trash the dress" party!
Get your would-have-been bridesmaids together, get stupid drunk and trash your dress!
I'm sorry that your fiancé was a dink and broke up with you. He's a douche.
If you keep the dress it will have a memory tied to him. By trashing it, you are getting rid of him forever! Physically and mentally.

avpenguinrn

Hopefully it's ok that I comment now since this post is getting a little older...

I was in the position of the OP- I got engaged three years ago, bought my dress, realized my ex was not the type of person I wanted to spend my life with, broke it off, was left with the dress. My mom picked it up, we tried to sell it and couldn't, she got it preserved and held on to it for me.

Fast forward to this past March- I got engaged to an amazing guy who I know without a doubt is the one for me. The topic of "the dress" comes up and I am adamant I want nothing to do with it. One evening this past summer my mom got it out and I agreed to try it on one more time to be sure. I put it on and realized hat it was the perfect dress. I cried, my mom cried, my dad cried... I bought it for a wedding to the wrong guy but it was definitely the right dress. So come April, I will be wearing that dress down the aisle (my FI is aware of all of this).

The point of this novel? Don't rush into a decision now. Maybe put it away for a while and see how you feel about it in a year, when you're engaged to the guy who deserves you, whenever. Allow yourself to feel however you feel about it when you're removed from your break-up (I am so sorry that happened to you). I'm not saying your experience will be the same as mine but it might help to give it a little time so you don't have any regrets either way.