Gift for my daughter on my wedding day

Knottie28788883

I am getting married next summer and want to give my daughter a special gift just from me. She is from a previous relationship and her dad has never been involved. I met my fiancé when she was 4 (she is 9 now) and because of how their relationship has grown he is going to adopt her after our wedding. On my wedding day I want to give my daughter something that symbolizes the start of a new life, but also something that reminds her how special she is to me. I would really appreciate ANY ideas.

holyguacamole79

Knottie28788883 said:

I am getting married next summer and want to give my daughter a special gift just from me. She is from a previous relationship and her dad has never been involved. I met my fiancé when she was 4 (she is 9 now) and because of how their relationship has grown he is going to adopt her after our wedding. On my wedding day I want to give my daughter something that symbolizes the start of a new life, but also something that reminds her how special she is to me. I would really appreciate ANY ideas.

Just get her something that you would normally give her on her birthday.

CMGragain

I would suggest a single cultured pearl necklace.  She will wear it on special occasions for years.

Knottie28788883

I adore that idea. Thank you!

Jen4948

Even though your FI is going to adopt your daughter, she isn't marrying him and has no say over your relationship with him, and they will become related simply by virtue of your marriage to him, so to be honest, I don't see why you need to give your daughter a gift at all on your wedding day unless she is going to be in your wedding as a bridesmaid or flower girl. 

That said, if you're going to do this, I would give her whatever you would give her as a nice birthday or Christmas gift.  The presentation of the gift should take place in private and not as part of the wedding ceremony.

Knottie28788883

It's truly a shame to know that's how you feel about children who are coming into a new marriage. I believe it's a special day for her as well. It's the beginning of a new life and the gaining of a father. She is a part of this day. She doesn't have the ultimate say in the relationship, but her opinion is important. Children are not an extra in a new marriage, they are apart of it. I'm actually disgusted with your response and find it very rude. The point of this discussion was to help with ideas on a gift, not to get opinions or judgement on my decision. Perhaps you should think about what you say before you post it.

CMGragain

Well, we do get a lot of posters here that want to involve their children in the vows and the ceremony.  We usually discourage this because it is not appropriate to the ceremony, and can cause unwanted pressure on the kids.  I was a victim of this, myself.  Mom made me perform at her wedding.  Ugh!
You sound as if you just want to give your daughter a special gift to mark the day, and I think that is a lovely idea.

southernbelle0915

Knottie28788883 said:

It's truly a shame to know that's how you feel about children who are coming into a new marriage. I believe it's a special day for her as well. It's the beginning of a new life and the gaining of a father. She is a part of this day. She doesn't have the ultimate say in the relationship, but her opinion is important. Children are not an extra in a new marriage, they are apart of it. I'm actually disgusted with your response and find it very rude. The point of this discussion was to help with ideas on a gift, not to get opinions or judgement on my decision. Perhaps you should think about what you say before you post it.

With all due respect, you're posting on the world wide web, my dear. People can respond however they want and they have all kinds of opinions. Ignore the stuff you don't like and take the stuff you do like.

Anyway, what about getting something engraved with her name? Like a necklace or a bracelet?

Jen4948

Knottie28788883 said:

It's truly a shame to know that's how you feel about children who are coming into a new marriage. I believe it's a special day for her as well. It's the beginning of a new life and the gaining of a father. She is a part of this day. She doesn't have the ultimate say in the relationship, but her opinion is important. Children are not an extra in a new marriage, they are apart of it. I'm actually disgusted with your response and find it very rude. The point of this discussion was to help with ideas on a gift, not to get opinions or judgement on my decision. Perhaps you should think about what you say before you post it.

Sorrynotsorry, but I'm just as disgusted by your ideas that because you have started a thread you get to control what gets posted in it, or other people's opinions for that matter, simply because your child is involved, and that it is "rude" to have a different opinion from you. You don't have any right to control what others think or post, and by posting in a public forum, the rest of the world is entitled to comment on any aspect of your post, whether you asked for it or not. Nor is it "rude" to have a different opinion from you on the matter.

Charmed59

What about starting a charm bracelet, maybe a pandora bracelet. Include a charm to remind her of this big day. Then add a charm for all big events as they come.

justsie

I agree with PP, shop for her like its her birthday. I also dislike involving children in things they cannot consent to, so just give her the same type of gift you would for another occasion.

climbingsingle

I think the idea of a pearl necklace is great. 

I'm not sure where the OP said she was involving her daughter in the ceremony or vows. There's no need to jump all over her. She said she wanted to give her daughter a gift to signify the day and to remind her of how special she is. 

Jen4948

climbingwife said:

I think the idea of a pearl necklace is great. 

I'm not sure where the OP said she was involving her daughter in the ceremony or vows. There's no need to jump all over her. She said she wanted to give her daughter a gift to signify the day and to remind her of how special she is. 

No one "jumped all over her."  We merely suggested that this isn't necessary, but if she wanted to do it, to not make it part of the ceremony.  She didn't have to say that she was doing this as part of the ceremony for anyone to advise her not to.

Knottie28788883

My plan is to do it in private. It is a special gift from ME to her. And I understand that everyone has opinions, I guess when I read this last night I felt a little attacked. I apologize for getting defensive. Making her feel important on this day is a big deal for me, I don't believe my wedding is all about me (and my groom). It's a family thing. And I thought that doing something special for my daughter (in private) would be a nice way to do so. Thank you all for your opinions.

climbingsingle

Jen4948 said:

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climbingwife said:

I think the idea of a pearl necklace is great. 

I'm not sure where the OP said she was involving her daughter in the ceremony or vows. There's no need to jump all over her. She said she wanted to give her daughter a gift to signify the day and to remind her of how special she is. 

No one "jumped all over her."  We merely suggested that this isn't necessary, but if she wanted to do it, to not make it part of the ceremony.  She didn't have to say that she was doing this as part of the ceremony for anyone to advise her not to.

You were snarky and you know it. At least own it. 

Jen4948

climbingwife said:

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Jen4948 said:

climbingwife said:

I think the idea of a pearl necklace is great. 

I'm not sure where the OP said she was involving her daughter in the ceremony or vows. There's no need to jump all over her. She said she wanted to give her daughter a gift to signify the day and to remind her of how special she is. 

No one "jumped all over her."  We merely suggested that this isn't necessary, but if she wanted to do it, to not make it part of the ceremony.  She didn't have to say that she was doing this as part of the ceremony for anyone to advise her not to.

You were snarky and you know it. At least own it. 

I was not snarky, so there's nothing for me to "own" here.  Expressing disagreement =/= "being snarky."

MairePoppy

Knottie28788883 said:

My plan is to do it in private. It is a special gift from ME to her. And I understand that everyone has opinions, I guess when I read this last night I felt a little attacked. I apologize for getting defensive. Making her feel important on this day is a big deal for me, I don't believe my wedding is all about me (and my groom). It's a family thing. And I thought that doing something special for my daughter (in private) would be a nice way to do so. Thank you all for your opinions.

It's nice that you want to remind your daughter that she's an important. I see nothing wrong with giving her a gift on your wedding day.

My friend's daughter recieved an 'add a pearl' necklace as a baptism gft. Every special occassion and milestone was commemorated by the addition of pearls that were added by her mom, Godmother, grandmother etc..She wore the string of pearls on her own wedding day, carrying with her all the good wishes and memories that she had accumulated throughout the years. 

kmmssg

I love the idea of the pearls.  If you do the add a pearl idea, one day your daughter will have a family treasure to pass down to the next generation.

VicTim328

My mom gave my sisters and I pearl necklaces on her wedding day. It is a big day for your daughter. As you said, it is a start of a new life for her. Just as your life is about to have a major change, so will hers. Acknowledging her place in your life on this special day is wonderful. I love the idea of doing something to build over time. My sister and I received traditional charm bracelets when our youngest sister was born, and we still wear them when we get together.

I wouldn't treat it like a birthday gift. This is a little more important than a birthday, and I would suggest the gift be reflective of the permanency of the occasion. I would try to do something she can keep and use for years to come, as opposed to whatever toy/gadget kids ask for their birthdays now.

mauiwowie9

I agree with all the pp's who suggested a nice piece of jewelry that your daughter can wear for years to come. It's a nice idea to give her something that represents this new stage in both of your lives. Pearls and charm bracelets are great ideas. I would also suggest a nice jewelry box or locket. Congrats on your engagement! 

[Deleted User]

What about a pendent with your & her birthstone? Or if you want to go with pearl, one that has two pearls on it, maybe even one that is bigger and one that is smaller. The two pearls would represent the two of you always together.