Dear Direct Marketers: A Rant

kimmiinthemitten

LEAVE THE BRIDES ALONE!

Seriously, they're all over the Facebook group I'm in like every woman doesn't know someone who sells Younique, Stella and Dot, R&F and so on.  

And as if it's not bad enough, they're also all over the wedding show circuit.

An ItWorks consultant approached me at the last show to ask if I planned on losing weight before the wedding.  Well, yes.  But thanks for telling me you think I need to as well.  I guess I'll just move on my own merry heffer way.

I've received 4 emails from the same show from direct marketers, so now I'm on their spam list and they don't have an unsubscribe button.  I was there to gather coupons and look for DJ's .... not to buy stickers for my nails or to throw a sex toy party for my bachelorette!  GTFOH!

I'll get off my soap box now.  

syoun1nj

Tell them they need to stop emailing you. It's a federal law that they must let you unsubscribe and can be fined $300 per email for breaking it. Tell the person directly if you need to.

julieanne912

I had tickets to a bridal show that ended up getting rescheduled due to the weather, and then I didn't even attend on the new day/time.  I had a Mary Kay lady constantly emailing me, even though I used her unsubscribe option.  I finally emailed her back personally and was a bit bitchy with her.  Haven't gotten anything since.  

Thankfully, the Facebook groups for weddings I'm a member of, don't allow any direct marketing vendors.  

CMGragain

It's not just brides who deal with this.  My mother died in October 2013.  We are still getting junk mail for her.  Once Publisher's Clearing House has you on its list, you'll be on it forever!

TrixieJess

If you have kids, if gets worse. I suggest having an email just for spam and direct marketers.

kimmiinthemitten

TrixieJess said:

If you have kids, if gets worse. I suggest having an email just for spam and direct marketers.

I do...but then I created an email just for wedding vendors so now they're there too:(.  I sent them all to spam, I just wish they'd go away.  Im a grown ass woman, if I want to change my face wash, it's not going to be at a bridal show.  I just had to get it off my chest haha.

lovesclimbing

syoun1nj said:

Tell them they need to stop emailing you. It's a federal law that they must let you unsubscribe and can be fined $300 per email for breaking it. Tell the person directly if you need to.

----boxes----

I was just going to post this.

And I get the annoyance at direct marketers. I don't mind some. I'm a huge Pampered Chef, Mary Kay and Tupperware fan. But when they start spamming, no thanks. When I want something, I will contact you. I don't need you contacting me except for sending me catalogues once a quarter.

spockforprez

julieanne912 said:

I had tickets to a bridal show that ended up getting rescheduled due to the weather, and then I didn't even attend on the new day/time.  I had a Mary Kay lady constantly emailing me, even though I used her unsubscribe option.  I finally emailed her back personally and was a bit bitchy with her.  Haven't gotten anything since.  

Thankfully, the Facebook groups for weddings I'm a member of, don't allow any direct marketing vendors.  

Yesssssss. And they don't say they're Mary Kay. They say "You won a bridal spa package!" or something. Fucking annoying. Next time hit her with some pinktruth.com. 

Regarding direct sales in general, I'm sick to death of them. Besides the fact that nearly ALL people participating in MLM's lose money, I can't see how any of my friends make any money because they all invite each other to their parties and feel obligated to buy. So Suzie and Jen bought stuff from April's Mary Kay party, and Jen and April bought from Suzie's Thirty One party, and Suzie and April bought from Jen's Scentsy party and everyone went home with a bunch of crap filling up their houses and made no money from their "businesses."

I do like some MLM products, especially Scentsy. But I feel morally wonky purchasing them sometimes, Mary Kay in particular. And I FUCKING HATE THE RECRUITMENT PITCH WITH A PASSION! My mom has a Pampered Chef lady friend (whom my father calls the "Pampered Pest") who is the most annoying shoot-down-every-polite-objection kiss ass MLM groupie tryhard there ever was. 

Okay. I feel better now.

lnixon8

Lately I've gotten a ton of friend/ instagram requests from it works people.... Posting pictures of fast food "good thing I've gtot my fat fighters so I can eat what I want and still lose weight!" I'm all for eating what you want but then they post pictures of their "team" and there is no way any of them are under 250 pounds.

kimmiinthemitten

@spokforprez....every single Rodan and Fields rep that I'm FB friends with has sent me the exact same pitch word for word.  Yes, I know I'd be good at sales, that's why I do it professionally and also why I'm contractually obligated to not sell for anyone else.  

Truth be told, I don't think my company would care but it's nice out!

julieanne912

kimmiinthemitten said:

@spokforprez....every single Rodan and Fields rep that I'm FB friends with has sent me the exact same pitch word for word.  Yes, I know I'd be good at sales, that's why I do it professionally and also why I'm contractually obligated to not sell for anyone else.  

Truth be told, I don't think my company would care but it's nice out!

R&F is making the rounds among my college friends.  One girl started it, now a couple more have "Joined her team".  It's so fucking annoying... I just got my first PM the other day from the original girl asking me if I wanted to join, etc etc.  Once it got to the PM level, it took it too far.  If she sends another one I'm unfriending her.  It's like, if I was interested in joining, don't you think I would have responded to one of your twice daily Facebook posts about joining your team... was a PM really necessary?  

Like I get it.. a lot of the women who sell this stuff (and yes, in my world, it's all 100% females) are SAHM and are just trying to earn a little extra income, and they buy into it thinking this will be their way to contribute to the family monetarily.  But many of them, at least in my world, have never really had a professional job outside the home, and don't understand how to ACTUALLY sell something and how to actually provide customer service.  Banging people over the head with it til they bow and buy something isn't the way to do it.  

frenchiekin

For me it's the Beachbody/Shakeology shit.  I'm sure it's awesome and works for some people but just so totally not my thing.  Peripheral FB friends keep popping up on my newsfeed as being coaches for it.  The posts themselves are annoying, but a girl who was my BFF in middle school (who I haven't seen in almost 15 years) is DM'ing me about joining a FB group to learn more about it so I can learn from other people's experience - because she thinks I would do so well with it.  Like, I generally don't like people, I suck at sales, and I cannot stay motivated with a workout plan.  Why would I be good at that shit?

I also love how this mile-long message is followed up with - congrats on your wedding, your photos look amazing!!!!!!  smiley face smiley face smiley face.  Girl, I know what you're doing.

holyguacamole79

I sold 31 for about 9 months.  They TOTALLY want you to market to target groups such as brides, new moms, etc.  I made a decent profit off it (I got lucky), but ... as my husband put it "do people REALLY need more bags?"

Here's my marketing horror story.  Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression.  It sucked and I was (clearly) going through a lot.  I was very insecure about it and confided in a good friend.  Or so I thought.  She listened to me and was sensitive.  About a week later, she called to see how I was doing.  I told her that it was hard and asked her how she was.  She told me how she just got back from an AMAAAAAAAZING BeautiControl conference that CHANGED HER LIFE.  She then asked me, "Guac, are you happy?  I think this career change could help you be happy".  I told her to never mention BeautiControl to me ever again.

I have not spoken to her in years.

julieanne912

frenchiekin said:

For me it's the Beachbody/Shakeology shit.  I'm sure it's awesome and works for some people but just so totally not my thing.  Peripheral FB friends keep popping up on my newsfeed as being coaches for it.  The posts themselves are annoying, but a girl who was my BFF in middle school (who I haven't seen in almost 15 years) is DM'ing me about joining a FB group to learn more about it so I can learn from other people's experience - because she thinks I would do so well with it.  Like, I generally don't like people, I suck at sales, and I cannot stay motivated with a workout plan.  Why would I be good at that shit?

I also love how this mile-long message is followed up with - congrats on your wedding, your photos look amazing!!!!!!  smiley face smiley face smiley face.  Girl, I know what you're doing.

Yeah I've got a friend (well more of an acquaintance, we have mutual friends) who sells Beachbody.  She never comes out and says who exactly she works for in her posts, but she posts a workout selfie pretty much every day, and going on about her healthy lifestyle.  But yet, almost every time I see her, she's drinking A LOT, like to the point where she can sometimes barely stand.  Real healthy lifestyle there sister.  Also she never brings up the fact that she waits tables to make ends meet because her "business" doesn't bring in enough money to completely live on.  

thisismynickname2

I definitely never buy from any of that stuff. I remove myself from groups people add me to and have admittedly blocked some "friends'" posts from my news feed as spam. Sorrynotsorry. 

This one girl though... First of all, I see her maybe once a year because we're friends-of-friends. We get along great, but only see each other when certain circles overlap. She sends me a PM to market Arbonne. I decline. She pushes harder. I don't respond, and unfriend her.
THEN, I hear through the mutual friend grapevine that she was so upset I unfriended her! After five more declined friend requests, and hearing again she was upset, I fucking accepted. And then marked all her posts as spam.

Dude, we are NOT friends, you push your shitty facial care on me, and then you tell actual friends you're upset that I unfriended you, on Facebook, of all places, where nothing really matters anyway?

What kind of brainwashing do these companies do!?

julieanne912

thisismynickname said:

I definitely never buy from any of that stuff. I remove myself from groups people add me to and have admittedly blocked some "friends'" posts from my news feed as spam. Sorrynotsorry. 

This one girl though... First of all, I see her maybe once a year because we're friends-of-friends. We get along great, but only see each other when certain circles overlap. She sends me a PM to market Arbonne. I decline. She pushes harder. I don't respond, and unfriend her.
THEN, I hear through the mutual friend grapevine that she was so upset I unfriended her! After five more declined friend requests, and hearing again she was upset, I fucking accepted. And then marked all her posts as spam.

Dude, we are NOT friends, you push your shitty facial care on me, and then you tell actual friends you're upset that I unfriended you, on Facebook, of all places, where nothing really matters anyway?

What kind of brainwashing do these companies do!?

It's crazy.  They sell hard on the "idea" that this "business" will give them financial freedom, and will bring in extra money to support their family, etc.  So they push so hard to make that idea happen, and I really think they start to get desperate when they realize they're not hitting the numbers that they thought they would....especially since they have to invest a decent amount of their own money to start. 

themosthappy91

Do any of y'all say something if you ever have close friends that get into this stuff? I'm younger so these things haven't so much infiltrated my social circles yet (we're all just in the trying to find/keep that first job after college stage, not many of my close friends are married and none have kids) but I had the first friend, who happens to be one of by BFFs, bring up that she was doing one of these MLMS (can't for the life of me remember which one) the other day and it was so hard to be nice about it... is it worth it to try to warn her off it or just let her figure it out for herself?

holyguacamole79

themosthappy91 said:

Do any of y'all say something if you ever have close friends that get into this stuff? I'm younger so these things haven't so much infiltrated my social circles yet (we're all just in the trying to find/keep that first job after college stage, not many of my close friends are married and none have kids) but I had the first friend, who happens to be one of by BFFs, bring up that she was doing one of these MLMS (can't for the life of me remember which one) the other day and it was so hard to be nice about it... is it worth it to try to warn her off it or just let her figure it out for herself?

If they say they're doing it, simply say "I hope it works out well for you."  If she starts to work it in to every conversation (it happens), simply say "hey, I'm glad that you're really excited about X.  It's not something I'm interested in, and I'd rather not talk about it."  I've been added to groups / invited to events without my consent.  I just remove myself from it.  If the same person does it twice, I message her and say "I'm glad that you're excited about X. I'm not interested, so please don't invite me to further events."  They have all been respectful when I have done this.

kimmiinthemitten

@themosthappy91, I have two friends who sell products.  The first is my cousin who sells Norwex.  She has posted once, maybe twice on FB about it and that's it.  She's an OCD neat freak, so she lets her reputation as such work for her in her social system.  IMO, she's doing it right.

The other one works for Younique who is doing really well and doesn't understand why people aren't as excited about her product as she is.  I am proud of her because this business has personally helped her make trustworthy friends and find a sense of pride, things she was seriously lacking for a few years there.  I just can't bring myself to tell her I think she looks like she has spider legs for eyelashes, so I'm grateful for my allergies that cause my eyes to run because it was a handy excuse to ward her off haha.

spockforprez

holyguacamole79 said:

I sold 31 for about 9 months.  They TOTALLY want you to market to target groups such as brides, new moms, etc.  I made a decent profit off it (I got lucky), but ... as my husband put it "do people REALLY need more bags?"

Here's my marketing horror story.  Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression.  It sucked and I was (clearly) going through a lot.  I was very insecure about it and confided in a good friend.  Or so I thought.  She listened to me and was sensitive.  About a week later, she called to see how I was doing.  I told her that it was hard and asked her how she was.  She told me how she just got back from an AMAAAAAAAZING BeautiControl conference that CHANGED HER LIFE.  She then asked me, "Guac, are you happy?  I think this career change could help you be happy".  I told her to never mention BeautiControl to me ever again.

I have not spoken to her in years.

This made me so sad I'm sorry you went through that and your friend was an ass! This is the main reason I find MK in particular to be ethically dubious. They have a recruitment policy of "warm chatter" where you use friendliness and flattery to make a woman feel good about herself and you, before hitting her with the pitch. One example is complimenting a woman you meet in the store about her fashion or how nice she looks with her lipstick. Once you've got the hook in, you hit her with "I think you have an eye for style! Have you considered becoming a MK rep? You'd be great at it!" I find this absolutely disgusting... instead of using this as a way to strike up a genuine friendship with a stranger, they are manipulating them in order to give their pitch. I'm sure this is used by hundreds of companies as a sales strategy, but MK makes it an art.

holyguacamole79

spockforprez said:

holyguacamole79 said:

I sold 31 for about 9 months.  They TOTALLY want you to market to target groups such as brides, new moms, etc.  I made a decent profit off it (I got lucky), but ... as my husband put it "do people REALLY need more bags?"

Here's my marketing horror story.  Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression.  It sucked and I was (clearly) going through a lot.  I was very insecure about it and confided in a good friend.  Or so I thought.  She listened to me and was sensitive.  About a week later, she called to see how I was doing.  I told her that it was hard and asked her how she was.  She told me how she just got back from an AMAAAAAAAZING BeautiControl conference that CHANGED HER LIFE.  She then asked me, "Guac, are you happy?  I think this career change could help you be happy".  I told her to never mention BeautiControl to me ever again.

I have not spoken to her in years.

This made me so sad I'm sorry you went through that and your friend was an ass! This is the main reason I find MK in particular to be ethically dubious. They have a recruitment policy of "warm chatter" where you use friendliness and flattery to make a woman feel good about herself and you, before hitting her with the pitch. One example is complimenting a woman you meet in the store about her fashion or how nice she looks with her lipstick. Once you've got the hook in, you hit her with "I think you have an eye for style! Have you considered becoming a MK rep? You'd be great at it!" I find this absolutely disgusting... instead of using this as a way to strike up a genuine friendship with a stranger, they are manipulating them in order to give their pitch. I'm sure this is used by hundreds of companies as a sales strategy, but MK makes it an art.

It upset me greatly, too. She had previously been one of my closest friends. Regarding the MK thing, I've had that happen to me several times. I've politely said no thanks both times. #eyeroll.

short+sassy

kimmiinthemitten said:

LEAVE THE BRIDES ALONE!

Seriously, they're all over the Facebook group I'm in like every woman doesn't know someone who sells Younique, Stella and Dot, R&F and so on.  

And as if it's not bad enough, they're also all over the wedding show circuit.

An ItWorks consultant approached me at the last show to ask if I planned on losing weight before the wedding.  Well, yes.  But thanks for telling me you think I need to as well.  I guess I'll just move on my own merry heffer way.

I've received 4 emails from the same show from direct marketers, so now I'm on their spam list and they don't have an unsubscribe button.  I was there to gather coupons and look for DJ's .... not to buy stickers for my nails or to throw a sex toy party for my bachelorette!  GTFOH!

I'll get off my soap box now.  

Whoa!  That is just unreal.  I could not even imagine.  I think my response would have been a loud and shocked, "EXCUSE ME!?!?"  With the unspoken implication being, "You are one of the rudest bitches I have ever encountered."

spockforprez

Here is an entire PDF document with scripts for the warm chatter practice I mentioned above. Ugh this makes me sooooooo angry!!!!

http://lauraslivewires.com/Pacesettersclass2/Class2_Booking_Scripts.pdf

kimmiinthemitten

This is the R&F email I've received almost word for word now (also the R&F rep who was at the bridal show called me today - leave me alone!)  LOL

Hi Kim, I hope you had a fun summer!!! Congrats on your engagement. That is so exciting!!! I’m sending you a message because I have to be straight and to the point with you- You possess a LOT of qualities of a consultant I want on my team, you are positive, love life, are hard working, busy and creative. This opportunity is TOO good to not share . I feel like there are a lot of negative connotations out there with MLM’s so I want to set those straight. If you’re not interested after I share this opportunity no love lost- but if you are then great we can get you great skin and an amazing opportunity! I do not want to beg or be known as annoying but I just need to frankly lay the facts out here and why I think you could THRIVE! I wanted to invite you to be my guest for a local event put on by members of my team about Rodan and Fields. It will be a fun night with some drinks and snacks on me! Let me know if you would like to join me. I hope you can and I hope to see you soon!!!

lnixon8

spockforprez said:

Here is an entire PDF document with scripts for the warm chatter practice I mentioned above. Ugh this makes me sooooooo angry!!!!

http://lauraslivewires.com/Pacesettersclass2/Class2_Booking_Scripts.pdf

This is horrifying 

themosthappy91

spockforprez said:

Here is an entire PDF document with scripts for the warm chatter practice I mentioned above. Ugh this makes me sooooooo angry!!!!

http://lauraslivewires.com/Pacesettersclass2/Class2_Booking_Scripts.pdf

Woooooow. This literally sounds like it was written by someone who is not a native English speaker (not that there's anything wrong with that- my point is it comes across so stiff and awkward). If anyone I knew started talking to me like that I'd look at them like they'd grown two heads- does anyone really talk like this?

justsie

One time FI and I went to eat at a local restaurant that has a back room for events, apparently they only *close* the room for events if it has a certain number of people, which this one did not so we were the lucky ones that got to sit in and be forced to listen to a MLM recruiting event. It was for something called Thrive, which I had never heard of, and me and FI were cracking up over these speeches these ladies and gents were giving. 

sunflower0592

has anyone here heard of the "You Should Be Here!" scam? It's a company called WorldVentures that claims to get you free vacations that you can make money off of while you travel. I had a FB "friend" (girl I went to HS with years ago) contact me out of the blue, ask me how I'm doing and making random small talk. I was slightly suspicious, because I'd seen her posts about this MLM/pyramid scheme. She tells me she has something amazing she wants to tell me about, which, you know, obviously sounds legit. So she tries to direct me to this 20-minute youtube video, which I politely decline, which leads to her trying to explain all the ways that THIS company is different and isn't a pyramid scheme. we haven't spoken since.

ETF grammar.

TNDancer

Yes, I got the pitch on that travel thing. I was totally tricked into because she mentioned another friend of mine. (Damn that man for suggesting me). Luckily my brilliant H said NO, I was being stupid to consider it.

julieanne912

sunflower0592 said:

has anyone here heard of the "You Should Be Here!" scam? It's a company called WorldVentures that claims to get you free vacations that you can make money off of while you travel. I had a FB "friend" (girl I went to HS with years ago) contact me out of the blue, ask me how I'm doing and making random small talk. I was slightly suspicious, because I'd seen her posts about this MLM/pyramid scheme. She tells me she has something amazing she wants to tell me about, which, you know, obviously sounds legit. So she tries to direct me to this 20-minute youtube video, which I politely decline, which leads to her trying to explain all the ways that THIS company is different and isn't a pyramid scheme. we haven't spoken since.

ETF grammar.

My BFF's sister and her husband do this....I think they might be higher up in the pyramid than most.  They post pictures all the time of their travels with their kids, and of course a picture of their new BMW that the company gave them (not sure if they gave it to them or just let them use it).  They just make it look like they live the high life all the time.

She's never approached me about it, although that's probably because I know what their real situation is.  I was recruited by BFF to go over there and help them pack up because they were losing their $500,000 house to foreclosure and had to go move into a tiny apartment with their 3 kids.   They tried to buy a house again this year and were denied so now they just rent a fancy house so they can go back to playing the part.  

justsie

I always have to keep an eye on FI around people like this, he falls for it all the time! Anytime we are walking around the mall I have to pull him away from the slick salesmen at kiosks, or out in a larger city I have to pull him from people in the street to will do something and then ask for money (like shine shoes). Bless his heart he thinks people really just want to talk to him.