deleted

[Deleted User]

Deleting this post due to people's comments, thank you to the ones who were helpful.

thisismynickname2

First, just saying, your other post got some backlash because market research isn't what the community is for. But assuming you're telling the truth about being an actual bride who needs actual help, here are my thoughts. 

Depending on your area, looking a year or year and a half out is probably wise. In some areas, places book well over a year in advance.

We were influenced by the general look and feel of what we envisioned for our wedding. We wanted a city venue, where we live, as opposed to suburban (where most of our family and friends are). I'm not into flowers and decorations, and thus we wanted a place with large windows and great views. We also looked at wineries as that was another vibe we really liked (and a venue I wouldn't have to decorate). 
Another heavy influence was all-inclusive versus just a space. I had zero desire to figure out logistics and figured if it were left up to me, something like forks and knives would be forgotten. 
Definitely read into reviews of the venues. Do this for every single vendor you hire. Don't forget to check the Better Business Bureau. Only you can decide how influenced you are by what the majority of people write. 

For the record, all these factors led us to have our ceremony and reception at a restaurant with private dining and all-inclusive wedding packages. Super easy to plan and we were very well taken care of, and people loved the food and the views. 

Good luck! 

holyguacamole79

Lindsb1126 said:

Hi everyone, I recently got engaged to my high school sweetheart. I’m 21, he’s 22 , and he proposed in Nashville the past August before heading to law school. As I finish up my bachelor's while trying to plan a wedding, I need some help!

 

When it comes to choosing a venue, there are so many factors that come into play. I am planning on getting married in October of 2018 (once he finishes school) and I was wondering when I should start looking at venues. I know cost is important, but I was wondering what influenced everyone to choose their venue? Also, should I read heavily into the reviews about a venue? It seems that there’s always a mixture of positive/negative so I’m not sure how this should influence my decision.

 

Thank you all  

As a Catholic, my faith was the biggest (and the only) factor in selecting the venue for my ceremony.  

For the reception, the following came into play:

• Proximity to the ceremony venue
• Ability to accomodate all our guests
• Cost
• Quality of food
• The fact that our venue was all-inclusive (they were my one-stop-shop for flowers, linens, food, DJ, alcohol, DofC).  

It never hurts to start looking early.  But get an idea in your head of the budget & guest list size as these should be the most important factors.

julieanne912

From what I discovered, lower cost = book further out... higher cost = can wait awhile.  For us, cost was a big factor.  We got our second choice venue because they had a cancellation.  Otherwise, we would have had to wait another year. Our first choice venue was slightly cheaper, but was booked all the way into 2016 (we got engaged Feb 2015 and started looking that week).  

As far as narrowing down venues, I knew I wanted either a barn, or a farm, or a ranch that would allow us to bring in our own catering and alcohol, and that could hold 200 people.  So that narrowed it down to about 10 options throughout a 2 hour radius.  Then I narrowed it down by my price point, that got me down to like 4 options.  Then I determined I didn't want to it to be too far out of town, so that narrowed it down to 2.  If I couldn't have gotten my first or second, I would have gone with the third but I would have had to hire shuttles to transport people back to town.  

My venue didn't have a lot of reviews, but I felt comfortable using it since it was a DIY type of place... we got it for the entire day and they provided tables and chairs.  The rest was up to us.  I picked the rest of my vendors based on word of mouth from either friends or a local Facebook wedding group... I found the ones that popped up first on google searches were expensive, and I don't entirely trust Yelp reviews.  

I am assuming you already have your budget and your rough guest list in place.  The next step would be to decide what kind of wedding you want.  Do you want to DIY, or do you want to just show up that day and have everything put together?  In hindsight, I sort of wish I had a more all inclusive type venue, or at least had the budget to hire more people to help set up.  The first part of the day was very stressful, making sure everything was getting set up right, etc.  Once the caterers showed up everything was much better as they took it from there.  

lyndausvi

I wanted a beach wedding, although that would have been negotiable.  

Things not negotiable were guest list, sit down meal and open bar.     I was NOT going to cut my guest list, have a cash bar or not feed my guests a full meal in order to squeeze our budget into a "pretty" venue.   

Looked online, found the venue.  My parents looked at it (I was OOT).  It fit our needs.    Done.


A lot of people on here say it has to fit your budget.  And they are correct, however, I've seen many, many people find a venue at fits the "budget" but it does fit anything else.   They are scrambling to cut people, cut food (i.e only serve cheese and crackers for a dinner time event), have a cash bar and other poor hosting choices in order to use a certain venue.

That is not how I do things.   People and hosting come before a "pretty venue" in my opinion.  If you look hard enough you can still host your guests in any budget.  After the first 5 minutes in a room your guests do not give a shit where they are as long as they are with family/friends and are hosted properly.

ThxSugar

We had a budget and a rough guest list (VIPs w/ SO and children). We wanted a place that had a ceremony and reception space. Our next priority was close accommodations for our out of town guests, which is the majority of our list. Next, I knew I wanted some place that (at least) had tables and chairs, would handle the set up and tear down, and the least amount of nickle and dime fees. We looked at at least 35 places online, narrowed it down to 15ish, emailed a ridiculous amount of questions to them, and then scheduled visits with our top 5.

[Deleted User]

thisismynickname said:

First, just saying, your other post got some backlash because market research isn't what the community is for. But assuming you're telling the truth about being an actual bride who needs actual help, here are my thoughts. 

Depending on your area, looking a year or year and a half out is probably wise. In some areas, places book well over a year in advance.

We were influenced by the general look and feel of what we envisioned for our wedding. We wanted a city venue, where we live, as opposed to suburban (where most of our family and friends are). I'm not into flowers and decorations, and thus we wanted a place with large windows and great views. We also looked at wineries as that was another vibe we really liked (and a venue I wouldn't have to decorate). 
Another heavy influence was all-inclusive versus just a space. I had zero desire to figure out logistics and figured if it were left up to me, something like forks and knives would be forgotten. 
Definitely read into reviews of the venues. Do this for every single vendor you hire. Don't forget to check the Better Business Bureau. Only you can decide how influenced you are by what the majority of people write. 

For the record, all these factors led us to have our ceremony and reception at a restaurant with private dining and all-inclusive wedding packages. Super easy to plan and we were very well taken care of, and people loved the food and the views. 

Good luck! 

Thanks so much for your help, I really appreciate it. I am truly a bride-to-be and wasn't aware about the conditions for the other post. regardless Im so new to all of this, Im the first of all my friends/family to be engaged. Im on Long Island so I am looking to book as early as possible, especially if they get booked quickly. Thankfully we will be getting married in 2018 so we have a good amount of time. Im running into the issue of it being too soon, and venues don't have prices out for that far in advance!

Thanks again, this was very helpful

thisismynickname2

Well, in regards to 2018 prices... late next year they should have a good idea of what prices will be. Prices don't often go up too much in relation to inflation. Also, what I found with my venue-- we booked in 2013 for a 2014 date and they honored the prices (and original menus) we had seen at the time of booking. That was great, but not all places do that. Contracts vary. 

Lynda also had excellent points about shoving too many guests into pretty spaces, so I want to expand a bit on my post too. Budget and guest list come first, of course, but not budget in regards to price per head. Venues vary SO much about what they include or don't include that you'll shoot yourself in the foot if you decide to spend exactly x per head. 
What we found was, we knew our grand total budget and that we wanted all inclusive. We had a target guest list of 80. We narrowed our venue options to four to go visit. Turned out Place 1 had a minimum spend we'd never reach with 80, so that was out. Place 2 was the most expensive per head and the furthest from any hotel, so we'd have to add on the cost of shuttles to our budget, ultimately rendering Place 2 too expensive. Deciding between Places 3&4 (which had very comparable prices per head) came down to quality of food and what was included in the price per head; the one we chose included the most (even escort cards and table numbers). 
Conversely, had we not gone all inclusive, I was looking at spaces where it was a few grand just to rent the space. Then I had to check out the partner caterers and see their prices. Then add on the partner logistic companies and see their prices for tables/chairs and stuff. 
Point being, thinking your budget is "x per head" just won't work with all the varieties of options out there. Definitely know your overall budget, but then get a feel for venue/catering pricing and narrow things down from there. 

lyndausvi

thisismynickname said:

Well, in regards to 2018 prices... late next year they should have a good idea of what prices will be. Prices don't often go up too much in relation to inflation. Also, what I found with my venue-- we booked in 2013 for a 2014 date and they honored the prices (and original menus) we had seen at the time of booking. That was great, but not all places do that. Contracts vary. 

Lynda also had excellent points about shoving too many guests into pretty spaces, so I want to expand a bit on my post too. Budget and guest list come first, of course, but not budget in regards to price per head. Venues vary SO much about what they include or don't include that you'll shoot yourself in the foot if you decide to spend exactly x per head. 
What we found was, we knew our grand total budget and that we wanted all inclusive. We had a target guest list of 80. We narrowed our venue options to four to go visit. Turned out Place 1 had a minimum spend we'd never reach with 80, so that was out. Place 2 was the most expensive per head and the furthest from any hotel, so we'd have to add on the cost of shuttles to our budget, ultimately rendering Place 2 too expensive. Deciding between Places 3&4 (which had very comparable prices per head) came down to quality of food and what was included in the price per head; the one we chose included the most (even escort cards and table numbers). 
Conversely, had we not gone all inclusive, I was looking at spaces where it was a few grand just to rent the space. Then I had to check out the partner caterers and see their prices. Then add on the partner logistic companies and see their prices for tables/chairs and stuff. 
Point being, thinking your budget is "x per head" just won't work with all the varieties of options out there. Definitely know your overall budget, but then get a feel for venue/catering pricing and narrow things down from there. 

good point on looking at the whole budget not just the per head price.

I've been on here longer then I care to admit.  There have been many couples who book places thinking it's in their budget based on the per head costs, then forget about the extras.  They forget about tax, service and/or gratuity fees.  Vendor meals or that they are even a body including in the fire code counts thus making them over capacity.  They forget about CPs, cake, linens, etc.    All that stuff adds up quickly if you are not careful.

I can't tell you how many people forget about the bar, even non-alcoholic ones.  It's an afterthought.  Then a few months out they are scrambling because they never thought about providing beverages for their guests.

KatWAG

So you started a new thread so ask the same exact question? But in this thread you conveniently left out that this is for your homework?

Again, do your own homework.

[Deleted User]

KatWAG said:

So you started a new thread so ask the same exact question? But in this thread you conveniently left out that this is for your homework?

Again, do your own homework.

Not sure why you have an issue with what I ask...if you read the first thread you would notice that I recently did get engaged and genuinely want to find out about how people find venues. There have been some really helpful responses from people, if you have a problem then you don't have to comment on the thread! Thanks!

KatWAG

Lindsb1126 said:

KatWAG said:

So you started a new thread so ask the same exact question? But in this thread you conveniently left out that this is for your homework?

Again, do your own homework.

Not sure why you have an issue with what I ask...if you read the first thread you would notice that I recently did get engaged and genuinely want to find out about how people find venues. There have been some really helpful responses from people, if you have a problem then you don't have to comment on the thread! Thanks!

Welcome to the internet. I can comment on any thread I feel like, but thanks though.

I have an issue because its spam and against the TOS. You are asking these questions for a marketing project, not actual wedding planning. But it is interesting how quickly you changed your tune once people called you out.

levioosa

KatWAG said:

So you started a new thread so ask the same exact question? But in this thread you conveniently left out that this is for your homework?

Again, do your own homework.

I agree with Kat.  It's also unethical to collect sample research from people without disclosing your true intent.

[Deleted User]

levioosa said:

KatWAG said:

So you started a new thread so ask the same exact question? But in this thread you conveniently left out that this is for your homework?

Again, do your own homework.

I agree with Kat.  It's also unethical to collect sample research from people without disclosing your true intent.

Just to be clear, I am not using anyone's responses for anything other than my own knowledge of booking for my OWN wedding. I am a young bride-to-be and genuinely wanted advice. Other people have been so nice, I'm sorry that you're offended. I already apologized for my original post. Yes I wanted some insights for my college course and did not realize it wasn't allowed. The original post was taken down but if you read it it explained my current situation, and that I really do need help choosing a venue. I have 200 people on my list, 3 years to plan and needed advice from those that have been through this, which I did receive. I really appreciate everyone else that was very kind and helpful. I admitted I was wrong by not realizing you can't ask for surveys, but I am allowed to ask for opinions and advice and that's all I am doing.

holyguacamole79

Lindsb1126 said:

Deleting this post due to people's comments, thank you to the ones who were helpful.

Lindsb1126 , FYI - you've been quotetd, so deleting your original post accomplishes nothing.  It's also considered to be rude.

[Deleted User]

holyguacamole79 said:

Lindsb1126 said:

Deleting this post due to people's comments, thank you to the ones who were helpful.

Lindsb1126 , FYI - you've been quotetd, so deleting your original post accomplishes nothing.  It's also considered to be rude.

Everyone; I have no idea that THIS is what the message boards were like. I have always loved The Knot and have been using it since I got engaged. I made a mistake by asking advice for school; I am Human. I don't understand the "etiquette" of these boards and I apologize for that. I can swear to you all that I am harmless, not trying to "scheme" anything or hurt anyones feelings, not trying to use people's responses for "research". I am a 21 year old student about to graduate last month who got engaged August 11th 2015. I am beyond excited to start wedding planning and I shouldn't have to convince strangers that I really do want advice on choosing a venue. I really did not mean to hurt peoples feelings and I will never use these forums again due to how I've been treated. There were some helpful people but the rest of you need to understand that I didn't understand the terms of service, I tried to delete my post as a way to stop receiving backlash and yet that is considered improper etiquette as well. 

Again, thank you to everyone who helped me out. To everyone I offended, I am sorry for making a mistake. I admitted I didn't understand, and people still want to upset me. I promise I won't be using these boards for anymore advice as I plan my wedding, as I don't want to cause any issues amongst those of you who are on here constantly.

Thank you.

anjemon

@Lindsb93 I hope you take a little break to think and come back. These boards are really helpful, the ladies have a lot of experience and a lot of great ideas. 

But you're right, there is a culture to this board and it's good to lurk for awhile to see if you'd enjoy interacting here. We like when people leave their posts because it lets other people and lurkers find information without having to ask the same question again and again. It also doesn't delete any of the responses, so having orphan responses gets confusing.

This is also something I work on, but I'd suggest trying to read people's responses without attaching any of your own emotion. People here are fairly blunt and straight-forward, but they mostly aren't being mean or spiteful. I think a lot of people get hurt by the blunt conversation, when the posters are just stating their opinion plainly so there is no confusion. Just my ass-vice for what I've learned in my time on these boards.

thefanciestbeckler

anjemon said:

@Lindsb93 I hope you take a little break to think and come back. These boards are really helpful, the ladies have a lot of experience and a lot of great ideas. 

But you're right, there is a culture to this board and it's good to lurk for awhile to see if you'd enjoy interacting here. We like when people leave their posts because it lets other people and lurkers find information without having to ask the same question again and again. It also doesn't delete any of the responses, so having orphan responses gets confusing.

This is also something I work on, but I'd suggest trying to read people's responses without attaching any of your own emotion. People here are fairly blunt and straight-forward, but they mostly aren't being mean or spiteful. I think a lot of people get hurt by the blunt conversation, when the posters are just stating their opinion plainly so there is no confusion. Just my ass-vice for what I've learned in my time on these boards.

HAGGSTOBE314

Lindsb93 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

Lindsb1126 said:

Deleting this post due to people's comments, thank you to the ones who were helpful.

Lindsb1126 , FYI - you've been quotetd, so deleting your original post accomplishes nothing.  It's also considered to be rude.

Everyone; I have no idea that THIS is what the message boards were like. I have always loved The Knot and have been using it since I got engaged. I made a mistake by asking advice for school; I am Human. I don't understand the "etiquette" of these boards and I apologize for that. I can swear to you all that I am harmless, not trying to "scheme" anything or hurt anyones feelings, not trying to use people's responses for "research". I am a 21 year old student about to graduate last month who got engaged August 11th 2015. I am beyond excited to start wedding planning and I shouldn't have to convince strangers that I really do want advice on choosing a venue. I really did not mean to hurt peoples feelings and I will never use these forums again due to how I've been treated. There were some helpful people but the rest of you need to understand that I didn't understand the terms of service, I tried to delete my post as a way to stop receiving backlash and yet that is considered improper etiquette as well. 

Again, thank you to everyone who helped me out. To everyone I offended, I am sorry for making a mistake. I admitted I didn't understand, and people still want to upset me. I promise I won't be using these boards for anymore advice as I plan my wedding, as I don't want to cause any issues amongst those of you who are on here constantly.

Thank you.

Honestly !

I've experienced some mixed feelings in the chats as well ! you just have to learn that SOME (i stress some) of these women are stressed out of their minds so they take whatever small problem they see and blow it up , it doesn't even have to be you personally , something was already annoying them and you just gave them fuel for the fire. 

I was attacked (verbally) because i wrote my question in CAPS ! like seriously ! i was called all types of names , someone said i was "trolling" they said i was a Spam Robot trying to create problems when i honestly just asked a question , the caps was only because i write in CAPS at work so i just started typing and didn't realize it was gonna cause a World War !! Not thinking that some "adults" do not know how to have self control and explain something without attacking someone and/or just simply stating the issue " Hey @Lindsb93 , not sure if you are aware but asking questions for any other reason besides personal is against the rules in the community chats" would have been perfectly fine to say! 

But dont let it get you down or fray away from the chats, some of these women take these chats WAAAAY too seriously , whereas some are very sweet and helpful! Just pick and choose your battles honey !! Youll be fine !  

JoanE2012

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

Lindsb93 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

Lindsb1126 said:

Deleting this post due to people's comments, thank you to the ones who were helpful.

Lindsb1126 , FYI - you've been quotetd, so deleting your original post accomplishes nothing.  It's also considered to be rude.

Everyone; I have no idea that THIS is what the message boards were like. I have always loved The Knot and have been using it since I got engaged. I made a mistake by asking advice for school; I am Human. I don't understand the "etiquette" of these boards and I apologize for that. I can swear to you all that I am harmless, not trying to "scheme" anything or hurt anyones feelings, not trying to use people's responses for "research". I am a 21 year old student about to graduate last month who got engaged August 11th 2015. I am beyond excited to start wedding planning and I shouldn't have to convince strangers that I really do want advice on choosing a venue. I really did not mean to hurt peoples feelings and I will never use these forums again due to how I've been treated. There were some helpful people but the rest of you need to understand that I didn't understand the terms of service, I tried to delete my post as a way to stop receiving backlash and yet that is considered improper etiquette as well. 

Again, thank you to everyone who helped me out. To everyone I offended, I am sorry for making a mistake. I admitted I didn't understand, and people still want to upset me. I promise I won't be using these boards for anymore advice as I plan my wedding, as I don't want to cause any issues amongst those of you who are on here constantly.

Thank you.

Honestly !

I've experienced some mixed feelings in the chats as well ! you just have to learn that SOME (i stress some) of these women are stressed out of their minds so they take whatever small problem they see and blow it up , it doesn't even have to be you personally , something was already annoying them and you just gave them fuel for the fire. 

I was attacked (verbally) because i wrote my question in CAPS ! like seriously ! i was called all types of names , someone said i was "trolling" they said i was a Spam Robot trying to create problems when i honestly just asked a question , the caps was only because i write in CAPS at work so i just started typing and didn't realize it was gonna cause a World War !! Not thinking that some "adults" do not know how to have self control and explain something without attacking someone and/or just simply stating the issue " Hey @Lindsb93 , not sure if you are aware but asking questions for any other reason besides personal is against the rules in the community chats" would have been perfectly fine to say! 

But dont let it get you down or fray away from the chats, some of these women take these chats WAAAAY too seriously , whereas some are very sweet and helpful! Just pick and choose your battles honey !! Youll be fine !  

You have a dozen posts and at quick glance, none seem to fit what you just said.  Or did it not happen here?  Most of the posters here are reasonable, unless you start stirring shit up or posting things (like market research!) that are against the TOS.  It's not rocket science.  It's common sense.  Welcome to the interwebs!  If you're easily offended or get your feelings hurt, this may not be the place for you!

JaniV123

anjemon said:

@Lindsb93 I hope you take a little break to think and come back. These boards are really helpful, the ladies have a lot of experience and a lot of great ideas. 

But you're right, there is a culture to this board and it's good to lurk for awhile to see if you'd enjoy interacting here. We like when people leave their posts because it lets other people and lurkers find information without having to ask the same question again and again. It also doesn't delete any of the responses, so having orphan responses gets confusing.

This is also something I work on, but I'd suggest trying to read people's responses without attaching any of your own emotion. People here are fairly blunt and straight-forward, but they mostly aren't being mean or spiteful. I think a lot of people get hurt by the blunt conversation, when the posters are just stating their opinion plainly so there is no confusion. Just my ass-vice for what I've learned in my time on these boards.

1000x this

I get being young and such but being an adult requires you to be able to accept criticism and learn from your mistakes. 

A lot of posters (myself included) have learned that sometimes getting blunt advice is very helpful and makes you see things/consider things you were missing. 

OP my advice is try to lurk and figure out the boards and come back later on. Even if you make mistakes people can be forgiving. 

CMGragain

You are a college student?  Therefore, you can read?  You could have read the terms of service before you made this mistake, but you didn't bother, did you?  I guess the rules don't apply to you?
No sympathy!

HAGGSTOBE314

awwww @JoanE2012 youre talking to me here too ? how cute ! i guess i am "spechul" lol 

drunkenwitch

Does anyone know what the hell is going on?

CMGragain

Just ignore HAGGSTOBE314. I do.  Do not feed!

thefanciestbeckler

drunkenwitch said:

Does anyone know what the hell is going on?

JoanE2012

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

awwww @JoanE2012 youre talking to me here too ? how cute ! i guess i am "spechul" lol 

Ehhh, I'm still waiting to hear more about this post where you were verbally attacked, but you now claim was "deleted", but you refuse to say which mod deleted.  I have a sneaky suspicion that you got yourself caught in a lie (not realizing that users cannot delete their post, duh!) and the whole thing never really happened.  Grow up and take your shit stirring elsewhere.  You're becoming a troll, and you're not really a good one.