Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
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Feeling the blues.

I spent one really exciting year planning my wedding. I had every detail figured out, spent all my free time designing and diy-ing, and counted down the days with so much anticipation. Then my grandfather passed the week before my wedding, and all the final details kind of fell to the wayside. I was struck with grief and couldn't bring myself to continue planning the wedding. A friend who had never officiated a wedding before was our officiant, and I had planned to work with her more in the weeks leading up to make sure our ceremony was everything we wanted, but that never happened. Our ceremony was short, casual, and kind of awkward (we didn't even have "I do's" because she forgot to write them into the ceremony and I never really got the chance to talk to her about it), and our timeline was all screwed up, leaving a lot of awkward waiting time during the reception (most people left before we even cut the cake... oh, and we forgot to purchase a cake topper, anyway). 

At the end of the day, I'm really stoked to be married and our day was BEAUTIFUL, despite all the flaws... but I can't help but feel sad that the planning is over and I can't go back and fix those few last-minute details. In addition to the fact that my mourning period was kind of cut short, and now all those feelings about my grandfather are coming back up to the surface. I guess wedding planning was kind of my way of dealing with life's stress for a few months, and now I don't really have that outlet anymore. Life feels so bittersweet these days. I'm coming up on my first married holiday season, but it's also my first holiday season without my grandfather. 

I don't really know what the point of this post is... I just feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about it right now.

Re: Feeling the blues.

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    I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. 

    I had some details too that I wish I had paid more attention to. But there's nothing you can do about it now, so it's best to just accept it and move on. I know that can be easier said than done. But whenever you think of those details, replace those thoughts with everything that went right with your day, or what you really enjoyed. 

    Is there anything coming up that you can plan?  That helped me take my mind off things, because honestly, I felt a little down when all the planning was over too. 
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    Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

    I doubt most people even realized there were any mistakes. I purposefully didn't have a wedding cake topper and while you thought reception had awkward waiting times, I'm sure your guests appreciated the chance to just relax and socialize. Your pictures turned out great and you looked beautiful!


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    I'm very sorry for your loss. Dealing with it at the time of something that is supposed to be very happy can be really hard, I went through something similar.

    I agree with @climbingwife, try to plan something else. Maybe starting a new holiday tradition with your new husband. That might help to feel the planning void (I know I feel that a bit) and it'll be exciting and help establish your new family. It doesn't have to be anything big. For example my husband and I have decided to host Christmas Eve with just his sister's family and his parents. 6 adults and an infant isn't a big event to plan for but we're going to make it awesome!
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    I'm sorry for your loss.  I do think you should take some time to properly mourn the loss of your grandfather.  With the holidays coming up, the emotions of missing him will likely come to the surface soon.  Go easy on yourself and just take the time you need to grieve.
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    Thanks, ladies! I know most people probably didn't notice the fine details, but I can't help but get stuck in a cycle of woulda-coulda's. I just have to shake it off! My grandpa wanted to be at the wedding so badly. Throughout his final months of battling cancer, he told everyone that he just wanted to make it to October 4. In a way, I almost feel like he was there... the weather was predicted to be rain all week, and then the sky just opened up on Sunday morning and the weather was beautiful for our wedding. I think he gave us that, for sure!

    I just got a promotion at work, so that's helping me focus on something else for a little while. I can't wait to start some new holiday traditions with my husband this year!! :) Very thankful to be at this point in my life. Thanks for listening! It feels good to be able to share this. 
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    avocuddle said:
    Thanks, ladies! I know most people probably didn't notice the fine details, but I can't help but get stuck in a cycle of woulda-coulda's. I just have to shake it off! My grandpa wanted to be at the wedding so badly. Throughout his final months of battling cancer, he told everyone that he just wanted to make it to October 4. In a way, I almost feel like he was there... the weather was predicted to be rain all week, and then the sky just opened up on Sunday morning and the weather was beautiful for our wedding. I think he gave us that, for sure!

    I just got a promotion at work, so that's helping me focus on something else for a little while. I can't wait to start some new holiday traditions with my husband this year!! :) Very thankful to be at this point in my life. Thanks for listening! It feels good to be able to share this. 
    Tearing up. I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice, but... big hugs. Happy Thanksgiving. <3  
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    Thank you, @spockforprez! :) Happy Thanksgiving!!
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    I had a hard year leading up to my wedding too. No deaths in the family but just a lot of difficult and strange situations. My brother and his fiancee split up, my parents got divorced after 30 years of marriage, my now father in law broke his leg in a motorcycle accident, and my now husband lost his job while we were trying to pay for the wedding and honeymoon (he's at a new job now that he loves.) I thought I couldn't get through the planning and the wedding itself with all those other struggles going on but we did it and everything worked out. Not every single detail of the wedding was perfect but the fact that I married the man of my dreams was. You need time to grieve which I did plenty of when my grandfather died and then you need to enjoy your husband and your life together. The wedding is just one day but your marriage is for life.
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