Help with Officiant....

nefariousmoon

Hello, ok I have been searching everyway possible to find information about this and have found some but no where near enough, and plan on calling the clerks office to find out more but I was hoping maybe some of you would be able to give some insite to this.

I would really like to have my mother marry us. I know this sounds odd, but when I was having a vent session with her I mentioned having a hard time finding officiants that would fit what Im looking for. And she offered to officiate if I could find out all the logistics of it. (we are getting married in texas)
So ok questions:

1. After some looking around it seems like the universal life church would be a good way for her to get ordained. Has anyone had any experiance with them at all? Or a better recomendation?

2. Can my mother legal marry us? I know with some legal things its considered confilict of interest or something like that so I want to make sure that this isnt one of them (havent been able to find ANY information on this) Extra info: she is my biological mother, but not legaly my mother (I was adopted in a disaster adoption but my adoptive mother is still listed as my parent) Not sure if that matters at all but throwing it out there just incase.

3. Anyone have any experiance having a friend or family member getting ordained to marry them and have any pointers?

Any help is appreciated

Avion22

It all depends on the state and county that you want to get married in.  Some states are very particular about making sure that your offician is legally qualified to marry you, and won't allow Universal Life Church or other internet ordinations.   Some states have reciprocity, meaning that someone ordained in say, Virginia might be able to legally marry a couple in North Carolina.  Some states have reciprocity with certain other states but not others.  

In England if you get married in the Church of England, you're 100% legally covered, but if you want to get married in another church, you just have to have a legal magistrate pesent when someone else performs the ceremony.  There may be some states where you could have your mother perform the ceremony, as long there is a representative of your county magistrate present. 

Your county most likely has this information posted on their website.  Take a look and see what the requirements are.  If you can't find it, then call the county clerk's office.  

mbatzlaff

I actually got ordained from the Universal Life Church online. I thought it was just fine, but I have no experience with other similar sites. I haven't performed any weddings at this point, but the Universal Life Church website allows you to order a copy of the ordination certificate, candles, guides for how to perform a wedding ceremony, etc. You will have to look into the requirements for your state and county. I live in Minnesota and here all I have to do is file a copy of my ordination certificate with the county I would be performing a marriage ceremony.

My brother had a family friend get ordained online to officiate the ceremony. This guy sat down with them a few weeks before the wedding and went over the whole script of what he was planning to say. This is not something most pastors/priests are willing to do and they appreciated the freedom to tailor their ceremony how they wanted. You will also want to check with your venue, sometimes if you get married in a church you have to have one of their officiants. My brother also was married in Minnesota, so check with the regulations for your county first.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:5034a8be-e3f1-4f69-80ba-8d1b0e4faac6Post:e4c5a124-9a0f-4e07-ace1-5a92509f278c">Re: Help with Officiant....</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually got ordained from the Universal Life Church online. I thought it was just fine, but I have no experience with other similar sites. I haven't performed any weddings at this point, but the Universal Life Church website allows you to order a copy of the ordination certificate, candles, guides for how to perform a wedding ceremony, etc. You will have to look into the requirements for your state and county. I live in Minnesota and here all I have to do is file a copy of my ordination certificate with the county I would be performing a marriage ceremony. My brother had a family friend get ordained online to officiate the ceremony. This guy sat down with them a few weeks before the wedding and went over the whole script of what he was planning to say.<strong> This is not something most pastors/priests are willing to do and they appreciated the freedom to tailor their ceremony how they wanted. </strong>You will also want to check with your venue, sometimes if you get married in a church you have to have one of their officiants. My brother also was married in Minnesota, so check with the regulations for your county first.
Posted by mbatzlaff[/QUOTE]

Sorry, but I take exception to the bolded part.  I'm glad that your brother's friend was so thorough and that your brother and his wife were happy with their ceremony.

But as someone who's worked in a mainline protestant denomination church for almost 30 years (organist) that's exactly what EVERY minister I've worked with has done for couples that they marry.

To say that most clergy won't meet with a couple and thoroughly discuss every aspect of their ceremony is just wrong.

Oh, and our DD's was our recently retired minister.  He not only gave them a large number of different ceremonies to peruse, but our SIL wrote their vows himself, and they were beautifully, and the minister used them exactly as written.

Good luck.

nefariousmoon

mbatzlaff, thank you so much for that insite Very very helpful to hear others expriance with things like this.



I do intened on calling the county clerks office soon, just trying to gather as much info as possible before I do. (Not to mention Im going to have to call two county clerks office sense we are in Harris county but plan on marrying in another county) Neither have any information on officiants other then what is reconized.
"Licensed or ordained Christian ministers, and priests; Jewish rabbis; Persons who are officers of religious organizations and who are duly authorized by the organization to conduct marriage ceremonies Justices of the supreme Court, judges of the court of criminal appeals, justices of the court of appeals, judges of the district, county, and probate courts, judges of the county court at law, courts of domestic relations and juvenile courts, retired justices and judges of such courts, justices of the peace, retired justices of the peace, and judges and magistrates of the federal courts of this state."


As for location, I am going to be renting a beach house so no worries about conficts with a church or other traditional location sense I am bringing in all my own stuff.

More info or experiances welcome!!!!

Side note: please dont use my board to pick fights.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:5034a8be-e3f1-4f69-80ba-8d1b0e4faac6Post:ee7f899b-1e74-4fb6-9003-095832f53e63">Re: Help with Officiant....</a>:
[QUOTE]mbatzlaff, thank you so much for that insite :) Very very helpful to hear others expriance with things like this. I do intened on calling the county clerks office soon, just trying to gather as much info as possible before I do. (Not to mention Im going to have to call two county clerks office sense we are in Harris county but plan on marrying in another county) Neither have any information on officiants other then what is reconized. "Licensed or ordained Christian ministers, and priests; Jewish rabbis; Persons who are officers of religious organizations and who are duly authorized by the organization to conduct marriage ceremonies Justices of the supreme Court, judges of the court of criminal appeals, justices of the court of appeals, judges of the district, county, and probate courts, judges of the county court at law, courts of domestic relations and juvenile courts, retired justices and judges of such courts, justices of the peace, retired justices of the peace, and judges and magistrates of the federal courts of this state." As for location, I am going to be renting a beach house so no worries about conficts with a church or other traditional location sense I am bringing in all my own stuff. More info or experiances welcome!!!! <strong>Side note: please dont use my board to pick fights.</strong>
Posted by nefariousmoon[/QUOTE]

Question:  Which board is "yours" and who was picking a fight?

KelaRenee

That's perfectly legal in Texas.  

Tanq&Tonic

My best friend was ordained via First Nation Ministry -- another option to Universal Life.  She had no trouble with them at all -- fast to send documentation, etc.  As for the ceremony itself, we did some research online but realized we didn't want too much 'canned' text.  Our officiant actually interviewed us on a number of topics and used those stories to write the ceremony and illustrate her points.  Things including likes, dislikes, stories that show us teaming together, pivotal points in the relationship, etc.  It turned out extremely personal and exactly what we wanted.

Good luck!

mbatzlaff

I didn't mean to offend anyone with my post. I have found that most weddings that I've gone to there is a protocol that is followed for marriages. I think its great that other officiants are willing to tailor the ceremony to the couple, but there has always been a certain amount of scripted language and rules depending on their religion. All I was saying was that my brother had a hard time finding someone who was willing to be flexible with what they wanted and that was why they found a friend that got ordained online.

nefariousmoon

Thanks so much everyone