Anyone turned uninvitees away?

lovesclimbing

Has anyone ever turned uninvited people away at their wedding?

I see this suggested a lot if guests just won't accept that their kid isn't invited or parents invite extras.

So has anyone actually done it, not "I was prepared to if necessary," but actually turned people away? How did you do it, how did it go down, and was there any backlash/consequences later?

I see this suggested so much (and I do think it's good advice) that I'm just curious if anyone has actually had to do it.

I seem to vaguely recall a poster saying she made uninvited people wait to see if there were no shows and then she seated them (but that may have been her suggestion, not what she actually did), but that's the closest I've seen on here to someone turning people away.

[Deleted User]

I didn't.. in fact I didn't know I had randoms (out of town family members of friends) there until the reception because they didn't come to the ceremony... I didn't say anything just thought a lot to myself

Maggie0829

I didn't because I didn't have any uninvited guests come to my wedding.  I guess I am lucky because I don't know anyone who would randomly bring someone if not invited to do so, or just show up to a wedding they weren't invited to.

But if it did happen, I would have most likely not have known because I can guarantee my parents would have handled it.  And by handled it, I mean they would have had the venue make room for the individuals.  At that point, I think it is best to just make the best out of the situation rather then turn people away because even though they were rude to show up without being invited the couple will look like the evil, mean, unsympathetic ones to everyone else. Ridiculous, I know, but I feel like most people would be thinking, "oh they were dumb for coming uninvited but this is a happy day, they should be allowed to stay and celebrate."

lyndausvi

We had an OOT couple who's daughter lived about an hour from our wedding location (which was OOT for everyone).  The wife doesn't drive, the husband drives, but likes to drink.   They asked if they could invite their adult daughter (never met her before) to drive them.  We said sure.

Fast forward to the wedding - there was a very tall, good looking guy I had never seen before.    Then I found out that the daughter of the couple brought a date.

We did not kick him out.  We welcomed them. The venue brought over a chair and place setting (it was assigned tables).    Never caught his name.   He is in a few pictures.    I just laugh someone wanted to go to their date's dad's boss's wedding an hour away.  Whatever.  He had a blast on the dance floor with all the old ladies.  

Not sure what I would have done there was some crazy person in my life I specifically did not invite showed up.  Our wedding was OOT, so it would have been quite a feat to just show up.

SP29

Didn't have to- only those who were invited came.

I think it would depend on the situation. If I had the space, and it happened to be someone random showing up last minute (like a date or kids), I'd ask the venue for another place setting and not say a word more.

If it were a space capacity issue, or something more of a sticking point where someone has willfully invited others against the wishes and and instruction of the bride and groom, I think I'd be a lot more firm about it. Of course this is hypothetical and IRL, I hate confrontation, so maybe I'd give up on the "fight". 

OliveOilsMom

I did not turn anyone away either, but I also did not have any uninvited guests show up.  We had one couple add on their daughter to the RSVP, but that issue was handled as soon as the RSVP came in. 

I think the threat of turning people away can be enough to dissuade anyone from trying to bring in their uninvited guests.  Especially parents who are having problems understanding that when the B&G pay, they get to dictate the guest list.  If the B&G can successfully get their parents or anyone else who is trying to bring uninvited guests to understand that it will make THEM look bad for insisting they come to the wedding, it is then up to the parents to call the bluff of the B&G.  And for me, that is something I would rather not try to bluff my way through, because what if my guests were turned away at the door.  That would be embarrassing for me, but then again, I would never try to bring uninvited people to any event!

thisismynickname2

We didn't have this issue. 
I have this fuzzy memory stuck in my brain from when I was a kid. My parents, with my sister and me in tow, arrived at a wedding reception and there were no place cards for any of us. This was a business friend of my dad's, with whom we socialized quite a bit. My dad was furious and we all left. To this day I have no idea exactly what transpired, but it does prove the advice given on these boards that people for whom there is no room will not have a place, and will be embarrassed, possibly enough to leave on their own without any kind of bouncer having to "turn them away."

Barring a literal space and fire code issue, I would rather be the hostess who will squeeze in an extra uninvited guest or two than the hostess who causes embarrassment, even if the embarrassment is really the fault of someone with balls enough to show up uninvited or the fault of someone who issued unauthorized invitations. 

For anyone who has the unauthorized invitation issue, I do think it's enough to threaten the issuer with the reality that there will be no place for the additional guests, causing the issuer embarrassment.  And don't let anyone else get their hands on your (general your) invitations prior to mailing!  

poodledoodleooo

I had quite a few uninvited guests at my wedding - I actually just found out that my husband's co-worker brought a date that I didn't know about until I met her at the holiday party this weekend! I asked my H about it and it turns out it was one of their second or third dates. We also had a few other guests of guests that I wasn't aware of until after the fact. For the most part it wasn't a big deal, obviously, I didn't even notice them. I think quite a few of them arrived after dinner, so there wasn't a big fuss over where they'll sit or what they'll eat or anything.

Personally, I would have rather hosted a few extras than cause a big scene or embarrass someone who might not even know they didn't receive a real invite. For example: I personally wouldn't turn away Uncle Joe and Aunt Mary because MIL told them they were invited even if they weren't, but that's just me. I'd feel too shitty about it, especially if they were likely just pawns in a powerplay by MIL. (this is just an example, FYI, I didn't have any such instance, personally). This isn't to say you can't or shouldn't, but I just don't think it'd be worth the fuss or scene. If, however, I deliberately told Aunt Mary and Uncle Joe they aren't invited and they still showed up, well I might have handled that differently.

My cousin had a few crashers at her wedding as well. My uncle simply approached them and asked them to leave, and they did without a fuss. These were total strangers, though, who just wanted to drink some free booze and listen to the amazing band, not guests of guests or anything like that.

KnickerGold

I was watching a Four Weddings episode this summer (stuck in the house/unable to walk for 3 months leads to a LOT of bad daytime tv watching) and a bride had far too many people show up for the reception who didn't RSVP- she made them all stand on the porch I believe, during the day, in the summer. 
I figured at that point most would just leave, but nope, people stood out there. I have a feeling this might be a known issue at her church/her family/friends though, because those who were outside all seemed to hit the buffet ASAP- knowing they may get booted?? If I remember correctly, there wasn't enough food for those who did RSVP because of this. 

Jen4948

Sometimes it might be necessary to turn uninvited guests away, like if your venue doesn't allow kids but someone brings them anyway, or if there is a capacity issue or a restraining order against an uninvited guest. Under those circumstances I would have venue staff and/or security handle the turning away.

If this isn't the case but uninvited guests show up, then you have a choice: you can admit them and treat them the same as any other guests, or you can turn them away. Which course of action is best is generally situational.

When this happens in situations where there is no venue staff or security, such as at a private residence, then the owner should be the one to do it, the same way they'd do it at any other time: "I'm sorry, but we can't accommodate your kids/uninvited guest/s. Maybe we can see each other another time." If necessary, that person should be ready to call the police or whatever security is available. If the couple or their families are the owners, I'd arrange for someone to do this should it be necessary.

levioosa

I think this also really depends on the situation.  FMIL's neighbor coming uninvited?  Probably not worth the fuss of turning them away, although annoying.  It also seems as thought the threat of being turned away is also enough to keep uninvited guests out most of the time.  Violent family member showing up?  Fuck that noise.  Security can show them out.  

thefanciestbeckler

I did have a family who was not invited show up, but I didn't say anything. We had plenty of food and drinks and plenty of seating so I didn't really feel the need to cause a scene. I have a feeling that the best man assumed they were invited and asked them if they were coming even though DH isn't close to them like he used to be.

alexnicole452647

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

lnixon8

My cousin had a no kids rule but another cousin brought her 4 children. They sat on their parents and grandparents laps and loudly complained about the fact there was no kids menu. This was in 2005 but it was memorable because it looked so ridiculous.

climbingsingle

I had two relatives crash my rehearsal. They were not invited, they were not part of the wedding, and they lived locally. I didn't say anything, and just asked that two extra places be set at the table. 

ShesSoCold

My cousins crashed my other cousin's wedding. The family of four RSVPed no, then showed up right in the middle of dinner. Wearing sweat pants and Nascar jackets and they were SUPER loud. It was a plated meal at a really nice country club. My cousin and his wife were super embarrassed but they had the venue find places for them.

lovegood90

alexnicole452647 said:

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

Oof. Sorry but you guys are in the wrong here. You should have invited her BF from the beginning. 

cupcait927

lovegood90 said:

alexnicole452647 said:

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

Oof. Sorry but you guys are in the wrong here. You should have invited her BF from the beginning. 

Doesn't that only apply if the cousin is over 18? Poster said "much younger cousin" in her post so she could be under 18. We tell posters all the time that they don't need to invite the SOs for those under 18, but it's nice if you can. That being said, if the cousin was 18 or over, then yeah, BF needed to be invited.

lovegood90

cupcait927 said:

lovegood90 said:

alexnicole452647 said:

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

Oof. Sorry but you guys are in the wrong here. You should have invited her BF from the beginning. 

Doesn't that only apply if the cousin is over 18? Poster said "much younger cousin" in her post so she could be under 18. We tell posters all the time that they don't need to invite the SOs for those under 18, but it's nice if you can. That being said, if the cousin was 18 or over, then yeah, BF needed to be invited.

Yeah "much younger" could mean anything. As someone in their mid-20's, I'd consider someone who is 18-19 "much younger" than me. So hopefully she meant the cousin was a teenager under 18 or something.

PrettyGirlLost

Maggie0829 said:

I didn't because I didn't have any uninvited guests come to my wedding.  I guess I am lucky because I don't know anyone who would randomly bring someone if not invited to do so, or just show up to a wedding they weren't invited to.

But if it did happen, I would have most likely not have known because I can guarantee my parents would have handled it.  And by handled it, I mean they would have had the venue make room for the individuals.  At that point, I think it is best to just make the best out of the situation rather then turn people away because even though they were rude to show up without being invited the couple will look like the evil, mean, unsympathetic ones to everyone else. Ridiculous, I know, but I feel like most people would be thinking, "oh they were dumb for coming uninvited but this is a happy day, they should be allowed to stay and celebrate."

Yeah but I'm not footing the bill for random extras that I never budgeted for in the 1st place, sorrynotsorry.

I don't care if you (the wedding crashers) think I'm evil and mean, your asses were rude!

[Deleted User]

lovegood90 said:

cupcait927 said:

lovegood90 said:

alexnicole452647 said:

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

Oof. Sorry but you guys are in the wrong here. You should have invited her BF from the beginning. 

Doesn't that only apply if the cousin is over 18? Poster said "much younger cousin" in her post so she could be under 18. We tell posters all the time that they don't need to invite the SOs for those under 18, but it's nice if you can. That being said, if the cousin was 18 or over, then yeah, BF needed to be invited.

Yeah "much younger" could mean anything. As someone in their mid-20's, I'd consider someone who is 18-19 "much younger" than me. So hopefully she meant the cousin was a teenager under 18 or something.

I assumed it was an annoying 15 year old cousin asking to bring her 16 year old boyfriend.  "Well, bummer that dad is sick, but my boyfriend can come in his place to drive me and mom!"

lembaslover

adk19 said:

lovegood90 said:

cupcait927 said:

lovegood90 said:

alexnicole452647 said:

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

Oof. Sorry but you guys are in the wrong here. You should have invited her BF from the beginning. 

Doesn't that only apply if the cousin is over 18? Poster said "much younger cousin" in her post so she could be under 18. We tell posters all the time that they don't need to invite the SOs for those under 18, but it's nice if you can. That being said, if the cousin was 18 or over, then yeah, BF needed to be invited.

Yeah "much younger" could mean anything. As someone in their mid-20's, I'd consider someone who is 18-19 "much younger" than me. So hopefully she meant the cousin was a teenager under 18 or something.

I assumed it was an annoying 15 year old cousin asking to bring her 16 year old boyfriend.  "Well, bummer that dad is sick, but my boyfriend can come in his place to drive me and mom!"

I too assumed by much younger she meant under 18.

If someone just brought a date they hadn't RSVP'ed for (we did give every single person a plus one but many people RSVP'ed for just themselves) then we would have made room. If it was my brother who said no, then last minute maybe, then no again (luckily we hadn't changed the numbers yet) I'd have been really pissed at him but bit my tongue and made room. If it were my aunt and uncle who were specifically not invited because of stealing from my grandma and being leaching dirtbags in general we had the staff ready to turn them away should they crash (luckily they didn't).

VicTim328

IMO, if a relative issued invites to people not invited, I would initially threaten with the issuer of embarrassing the uninvited guest.  In the case of my very single brother, if he brings a date, I have no problem with completely embarrassing him, but may make room depending on if I know her/like her.  If it were a misunderstanding, I would be gracious and see if they crasher could be accommodated.  If it was someone purposefully not invited, security would be escorting them out.

FI's cousin experienced this with our table.  His mom's college roommate and her husband brought their adult son.  We had a seat added to the table, and I don't know if they even realized what had happened until later. 

On the other hand, friends of mine who are both youth pastors got married about a year ago.  Their entire youth group (over a dozen) showed up at the wedding and stayed for the reception (uninvited).  The couple had 2 more tables set up and asked that they be the last ones to go to the buffet.  For them, it was people they generally liked, but it could also have had professional consequences.

Then in outfield, one of my colleague's ex-boyfriends showed up to her wedding.  She had a restraining order against him.  The security guard was an off duty cop who escorted him off the premises.  He was later arrested, because he had crossed state lines, which violated his parole.  They were prepared for this to happen, and the guard was given a photo of the creep.

TheCheeseWench

We had extras. A couple of distant relatives invited inadvertently by word-of-mouth by other relatives. Also +1s that were not RSVPd. All single guests were invited with a +1, but several only RSVPd for themselves, then wrangled a date at the last minute. We welcomed them all. At that point, we were having too much fun to be annoyed. There was plenty of food since the buffet was wood-fired pizza that they just kept making until people stopped eating, and we'd had some last minute cancellations after turning in our final #, so we were already paying for more people than were there. Sure, our bar tab was a little higher (we paid for booze by the drink instead of by the head) but we figure an extra $100 to not make our friends and family uncomfortable was worth it.

LD1970

No, though we wanted to.  

We did a first look so we could be at our cocktail hour, and when we got there, a college friend and his wife, who were invited, had the wife's daughter with them.  We did not invite kids.  And had we invited kids, there were several we actually know and love who would have made the list... this girl was not one of them.  I had met her twice, and I think my H had met her once, if at all.  She was nice enough, but meant exactly zero in our lives.

Also, they live one town away from where the wedding took place, so about 15 minutes away.  No joke.  And the ceremony & reception were all at the one venue, so the total time they'd be out would be 5.5 hours (1/2 hour ceremony, 1 hour cocktail hour, 4 hour reception) if they chose to stay for the whole shebang.

I was pissed, and I think it showed on my face, because the kid's mother said, "Oh, she just had to see you in your pretty dress!"  What I thought was, "Oh no, she fucking didn't."  But I was being pulled in 47 different directions with congratulations and greetings, and wanted to enjoy my food and drink, so what I said was, "Thanks for coming."

I was passive aggressive about it, though.  I didn't find them the maitre d', I didn't tell anyone about them, so when they got to their table, there was no seat or place setting for the kid, and they had the embarrassing job of straightening it out and getting a place set up for the kid.  Not my job, not my H's job.  We did our job - we hosted all of our actual guests wonderfully, assigned tables, and did the escort cards in such a way that we were actually complimented on the seating arrangements because people were so happy with the people at their tables.

We did have a couple no-shows, last minute illnesses, so the kid didn't end up costing us more, which was good because I'd have been absolutely furious.  This was not exactly an inexpensive wedding; it was formal, and it was pricey per head.

Except for sending them a thank you card for their gift, I haven't spoken to them since.

MyNameIsNot

We had one semi-crasher. We didn't do anything, but we were under budget, and a couple had last minute cancelled for illness, so it was no problem.

We had invited everyone with a plus one. My dad's cousin RSVPed alone, but brought along a date. So he was invited, but not RSVPed for. Since she'd traveled it would have been nice if she'd given us a heads up, but whatever. Dude turned out to be a ton of fun and wound up after-partying with my FIL.  

MrsMack10612

I only had one uninvited show up and it was a replacement date.  My dad and his wife were invited, but their children were not (adult children).  This caused a bit of row, but I was firm in my reasoning.  Day of my father's wife was not feeling well (there's a lot of history/backstory that makes believe she was fine but had no interest in the social lion's den my wedding would have been for her) and so my dad brought his oldest daughter.  He got there, hat in hand "hope it's ok, didn't want to waste the money/meal".  It was my wedding day and I didn't care.  In the long run it probably worked out for the best because I think everyone had a better time because of it.

frenchiekin

LD1970 said:

No, though we wanted to.  

We did a first look so we could be at our cocktail hour, and when we got there, a college friend and his wife, who were invited, had the wife's daughter with them.  We did not invite kids.  And had we invited kids, there were several we actually know and love who would have made the list... this girl was not one of them.  I had met her twice, and I think my H had met her once, if at all.  She was nice enough, but meant exactly zero in our lives.

Also, they live one town away from where the wedding took place, so about 15 minutes away.  No joke.  And the ceremony & reception were all at the one venue, so the total time they'd be out would be 5.5 hours (1/2 hour ceremony, 1 hour cocktail hour, 4 hour reception) if they chose to stay for the whole shebang.

I was pissed, and I think it showed on my face, because the kid's mother said, "Oh, she just had to see you in your pretty dress!"  What I thought was, "Oh no, she fucking didn't."  But I was being pulled in 47 different directions with congratulations and greetings, and wanted to enjoy my food and drink, so what I said was, "Thanks for coming."

I was passive aggressive about it, though.  I didn't find them the maitre d', I didn't tell anyone about them, so when they got to their table, there was no seat or place setting for the kid, and they had the embarrassing job of straightening it out and getting a place set up for the kid.  Not my job, not my H's job.  We did our job - we hosted all of our actual guests wonderfully, assigned tables, and did the escort cards in such a way that we were actually complimented on the seating arrangements because people were so happy with the people at their tables.

We did have a couple no-shows, last minute illnesses, so the kid didn't end up costing us more, which was good because I'd have been absolutely furious.  This was not exactly an inexpensive wedding; it was formal, and it was pricey per head.

Except for sending them a thank you card for their gift, I haven't spoken to them since.

Right or wrong, this sounds like what I would have done.  One of my biggest worries was that someone would do this at our child-free wedding.  Thankfully and almost surprisingly it didn't happen - but I can totally see myself doing this.  They're the ones being fucking rude, they can deal with it.  Her comment about how she just *had* to come see you would have made my blood boil.  Like, they know they're being dicks about it but did it anyway.  UGH.  Sorry you had to deal with this and hopefully there was enough food and drink to make you forget about it afterwards!

LD1970

frenchiekin said:

LD1970 said:

No, though we wanted to.  

We did a first look so we could be at our cocktail hour, and when we got there, a college friend and his wife, who were invited, had the wife's daughter with them.  We did not invite kids.  And had we invited kids, there were several we actually know and love who would have made the list... this girl was not one of them.  I had met her twice, and I think my H had met her once, if at all.  She was nice enough, but meant exactly zero in our lives.

Also, they live one town away from where the wedding took place, so about 15 minutes away.  No joke.  And the ceremony & reception were all at the one venue, so the total time they'd be out would be 5.5 hours (1/2 hour ceremony, 1 hour cocktail hour, 4 hour reception) if they chose to stay for the whole shebang.

I was pissed, and I think it showed on my face, because the kid's mother said, "Oh, she just had to see you in your pretty dress!"  What I thought was, "Oh no, she fucking didn't."  But I was being pulled in 47 different directions with congratulations and greetings, and wanted to enjoy my food and drink, so what I said was, "Thanks for coming."

I was passive aggressive about it, though.  I didn't find them the maitre d', I didn't tell anyone about them, so when they got to their table, there was no seat or place setting for the kid, and they had the embarrassing job of straightening it out and getting a place set up for the kid.  Not my job, not my H's job.  We did our job - we hosted all of our actual guests wonderfully, assigned tables, and did the escort cards in such a way that we were actually complimented on the seating arrangements because people were so happy with the people at their tables.

We did have a couple no-shows, last minute illnesses, so the kid didn't end up costing us more, which was good because I'd have been absolutely furious.  This was not exactly an inexpensive wedding; it was formal, and it was pricey per head.

Except for sending them a thank you card for their gift, I haven't spoken to them since.

Right or wrong, this sounds like what I would have done.  One of my biggest worries was that someone would do this at our child-free wedding.  Thankfully and almost surprisingly it didn't happen - but I can totally see myself doing this.  They're the ones being fucking rude, they can deal with it.  Her comment about how she just *had* to come see you would have made my blood boil.  Like, they know they're being dicks about it but did it anyway.  UGH.  Sorry you had to deal with this and hopefully there was enough food and drink to make you forget about it afterwards!

Now that I think about it, other than that I didn't see the kid at all after the cocktail hour and she's not in any photos.  If I hadn't heard from the people at that table that they felt like they needed to talk to & entertain her because she was only lonely kid there (which makes me even more annoyed - why are my guests forced to entertain your kid at my wedding when they should be partying?!), I'd have thought they stashed her under the table or something.

InLoveInQueens

MrsMack10612 said:

I only had one uninvited show up and it was a replacement date.  My dad and his wife were invited, but their children were not (adult children).  This caused a bit of row, but I was firm in my reasoning.  Day of my father's wife was not feeling well (there's a lot of history/backstory that makes believe she was fine but had no interest in the social lion's den my wedding would have been for her) and so my dad brought his oldest daughter.  He got there, hat in hand "hope it's ok, didn't want to waste the money/meal".  It was my wedding day and I didn't care.  In the long run it probably worked out for the best because I think everyone had a better time because of it.

I was on the total opposite end of this situation once, this was many many years ago, long before I was even close to planning my own wedding. My parents were invited to a wedding and my mom wasn't feeling well so my dad said "get dressed, you're my date".

alexnicole452647

lovegood90 said:

alexnicole452647 said:

H's much younger cousin kept nagging about her bf not being invited. When her father got sick last minute she took the opportunity to offer to bring her bf instead (we had given a lower head count just in case which I suggest because you can always add) but at that point I just said F it and let her...they have since broken up.

I was also at a friends wedding where an uninvited guest showed up as a plus one (I blame her bf), they had no seat for her and she was incredibly embarrassed.  The bride and groom accommodated her, I feel like it's best to unless it is a bunch of people or someone who may ruin your day.  Otherwise a small incident may overshadow your big day. 

Oof. Sorry but you guys are in the wrong here. You should have invited her BF from the beginning. 

They were very on and off and she was in high school, I didn't thing it was necessary to invite a high school bf.