Moms and Maids

Card Box Drama

I wasn't really sure what board to post this on, so admin can feel free to move it.

My bridal shower is next Saturday in Ohio (FI and I are leaving TX on Thursday to fly up there for Christmas and that). My MOH, who is also my brother's GF (soon to be fiance... He has the ring! <3 ), is getting all bent out of shape over who is making the card box for the shower. My mom and MOH are the ones hosting the shower.

My MOH made a lovely card box to set on the gift table at the shower. My parents' next door neighbor (who has designed most of my ceremony decorations) said she was going to have her daughter, Anna, make a card box for the wedding. In my mind, there was no issue. One box for the shower, a different one for the wedding. (I don't even care if there is a card box, but I appreciate the gesture) The neighbor is very pushy and my MOH got very bent out of shape calling me to complain about it. It's worth noting my MOH gets bent out of shape fairly easy.

What makes this a big dilemma is that Anna (who 3 years younger than me), has some sort of severe developmental disability and has the mental capability of a 6-8 year old. However, she makes absolutely BEAUTIFUL christening gowns, first communion dresses and quilts with direction from her mother. I have no doubt that the box she made is beautiful as well.

I love Anna like a little sister and don't want to hurt her feelings, especially since she might not fully understand. I'm thinking it will be easier to tell MOH I'll use hers for the actual wedding reception. even though I know she'll still be upset.

Do you think that's the right thing to do?
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Re: Card Box Drama

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    jacques27 said:
    It's a box.

    Personally, I've never even heard of a card box for a shower, since showers are for physical gifts.  So any cards are attached to the actual gifts.  You don't have a separate box for cards because people generally aren't showing up with just cards or cards filled with cash since that's not what showers are for, so her making a box for your shower wasn't appropriate in the first place.

    Let the person who has the mental capacity to understand that it's just a box suck it up and understand that you can have two separate boxes for two separate things and that just because you have another box for your wedding, doesn't mean you love her box any less.

    This. All of this. I would definitely side eye a card box at a shower.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    InLoveInQueenslc07
  • Same as PPS.  Also, I'm sorry but your MOH needs to show some maturity and step aside and let this issue go.  Is she really getting bent about taking something away from a girl with a disability who would probably be proud of the sweet contribution she could make to your wedding? 
    holyguacamole79s-aries8990SP29short+sassy
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    How is this drama?  People are freaking out over a box.  A box!

    Use one for the shower (who uses card boxes for showers anyways?) and use the other for the wedding.  If your MOH continues to freak out, ignore her.

    YogaSandy
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I wasn't really sure what board to post this on, so admin can feel free to move it.

    My bridal shower is next Saturday in Ohio (FI and I are leaving TX on Thursday to fly up there for Christmas and that). My MOH, who is also my brother's GF (soon to be fiance... He has the ring! <3 ), is getting all bent out of shape over who is making the card box for the shower. My mom and MOH are the ones hosting the shower.

    My MOH made a lovely card box to set on the gift table at the shower. My parents' next door neighbor (who has designed most of my ceremony decorations) said she was going to have her daughter, Anna, make a card box for the wedding. In my mind, there was no issue. One box for the shower, a different one for the wedding. (I don't even care if there is a card box, but I appreciate the gesture) The neighbor is very pushy and my MOH got very bent out of shape calling me to complain about it. It's worth noting my MOH gets bent out of shape fairly easy.

    What makes this a big dilemma is that Anna (who 3 years younger than me), has some sort of severe developmental disability and has the mental capability of a 6-8 year old. However, she makes absolutely BEAUTIFUL christening gowns, first communion dresses and quilts with direction from her mother. I have no doubt that the box she made is beautiful as well.

    I love Anna like a little sister and don't want to hurt her feelings, especially since she might not fully understand. I'm thinking it will be easier to tell MOH I'll use hers for the actual wedding reception. even though I know she'll still be upset.

    Do you think that's the right thing to do?

    OP - Are you having a money shower or a honeyfund shower?  That is tacky!  I don't care if you live in TX and the shower is in OH.  Then you just don't have a shower, ship your physical gifts back home, or drive to the shower and back so you can have your gifts in the car.  It could even be acceptable if you returned all your gifts in OH and re-purchased the exact same things in TX.
    InLoveInQueens[Deleted User]
  • @OliveOilsMom I am definitely NOT having a money or honeyfund shower. I agree that it's tacky. I actually got an airlines reward card (that I don't use) so I can get 1 checked back free for up to 4 people. We plan on checking 2 bags and having a carry-on so that we should have enough space for gifts. If we run out of suitcase space, I'll ship the stuff back or return/re-purchase like you said.

    @ShesSoCold I've never seen a card box at a shower. I think it's odd, but I'm not the one planning it.

    @Maggie0829 I think the drama originated because originally the neighbor AND MOH wanted to both throw separate showers..... with the same guest list. My mom got them to agree to one shower with the neighbor catering (she will be paid, and she is a professional caterer). I know my MOH gets out of hand sometimes with her freak-outs, but she really does have the best intentions. I know she's really excited to do the shower planning and hosting.

    Normally I just ignore my MOHs drama (not just MOH stuff). But this time my mom called me and put me in the middle of it..... As far as having a card box at the shower goes, it will just be a pretty decoration, I doubt it will be used.
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  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    The title of this post just makes me LOL. Weddings supply an infinite number of topics about which there can be drama. WHYYYYY?!?!?! Good luck with your MOH, @Midwest2Texas
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    SP29
  • @OliveOilsMom I am definitely NOT having a money or honeyfund shower. I agree that it's tacky. I actually got an airlines reward card (that I don't use) so I can get 1 checked back free for up to 4 people. We plan on checking 2 bags and having a carry-on so that we should have enough space for gifts. If we run out of suitcase space, I'll ship the stuff back or return/re-purchase like you said.

    @ShesSoCold I've never seen a card box at a shower. I think it's odd, but I'm not the one planning it.

    @Maggie0829 I think the drama originated because originally the neighbor AND MOH wanted to both throw separate showers..... with the same guest list. My mom got them to agree to one shower with the neighbor catering (she will be paid, and she is a professional caterer). I know my MOH gets out of hand sometimes with her freak-outs, but she really does have the best intentions. I know she's really excited to do the shower planning and hosting.

    Normally I just ignore my MOHs drama (not just MOH stuff). But this time my mom called me and put me in the middle of it..... As far as having a card box at the shower goes, it will just be a pretty decoration, I doubt it will be used.
    TBH, this sounds like the first mistake. You're not planning the shower. You shouldn't be in the middle of any of this.

    I agree with PPs....your MOH should grow up. She's planning a whole shower! She should be happy to have her input in the decorations, and the invitations, and whatever else she wants to put her energy into! She should be a big girl and be happy (or at least gracious) having your neighbor's daughter contribute what she can. 
    VicTim328SP29
  • ...and what would be wrong with having two card boxes at the wedding (one on each side of the gift table) - just saying...


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  • Oh man, such drama over a box....

    @Midwest2Texas
    Since you have been brought in the middle of this, I think I would tell your MOH to suck it up. Nicely of course, even if that's what you're thinking in your head ;). Something like, "I am so grateful that you have offered to host this shower for me and I am sure whatever you have planned will be lovely. Anna would like to contribute, and I think she will be very proud of the card box she is making. It's something small in the grand scheme of the shower, so I am more than happy to have her contribute this". 

    But seriously, it's a box... My cat would love any spare boxes you have ;)
    MairePoppyMidwest2Texas
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