I see a LOT on these boards about etiquette rules and customs that me, my fiance, and all of our friends involved in planning had never heard of before . Specifically I see tons of posts about how awful it is to host your own engagement party- technically our best man and maid of honor are throwing this, but we all really enjoy planning together. I also love planning it with them because I want the wedding party planning to be a bonding time, even if it seems like we are "planning something in our honor." Is it rude to discard a lot of the etiquette rules and formalities if the majority of the guests involved in them don't know about them? We are the first wedding in our friend group, and I don't know how any of this works. How formal are you all being?