My wedding is in April, and my FI has started bringing up the subject of family names. I know how important his heritage and surname is to him and his family and how much he wants me to take his name, no strings attached. However, it's also really important to me, and I am not ready to give up the name I have spent my entire life being proud of.
When his younger brother got married, his SIL did not take the family name, and it struck a nerve with his family. It's never crossed my mind to not take his name... But I know that hyphenating it won't be any better.
I have my PhD and am established professionally with my maiden name. I'm also the end of my line, so there is both a professional and a personal aspect for wanting to hyphenate. Ultimately, I know it's my decision, and I know he will support me in whatever I choose to do. It has crossed my mind to keep my maiden name as my middle and use that professionally, and use his outside of work, but I don't even want to think about the mess that could cause. I feel like hyphenating is the best way to compromise.
I'm not trying to break with tradition, and I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers. I love this man and his family, and I know they won't hold it against me for whatever decision I make. What have others done? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
"And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."