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Registering and Gifts

Where to register? how far in advance? And are money options tacky?

So I have a lot of questions about registries! 

1) Where are some good places to register? I have heard mixed feelings about some stores (Kohls, Amazon, BB&B) and wanted to hear opinions! 

2) When do I need to finish my registry? I have been told as early as when you send the save-the-dates to as late as sending the wedding invites

3) How do you feel or have you ever done the money option gifts? I have seen collections for other things such as a honeymoon fund. I am more interested in a fund for buying our first house or renting a place for ourselves. Is that tacky? does it work?

Thank you in advance for all the advice!! Much appreciated! 

Re: Where to register? how far in advance? And are money options tacky?

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    So I have a lot of questions about registries! 

    1) Where are some good places to register? I have heard mixed feelings about some stores (Kohls, Amazon, BB&B) and wanted to hear opinions!  We registered at BB&B, Target, and Sur La Table.  The majority of our gifts came from BB&B because there are several in our area and everyone always has the 20% off coupons!  Their customer service was great and they had a good return policy.  This decision depends a lot on geography of you & your guests.  If there isn't a Macy's for 20 miles, don't register there ;)  If you do Amazon, make sure you have another option bc many people want to go physically pick out a gift.  

    2) When do I need to finish my registry? I have been told as early as when you send the save-the-dates to as late as sending the wedding invites

    Ideally, it should be "done" by your shower (if you have one).  I don't generally look at registries until it's time for the wedding or the shower.  

    3) How do you feel or have you ever done the money option gifts? I have seen collections for other things such as a honeymoon fund. I am more interested in a fund for buying our first house or renting a place for ourselves. Is that tacky? does it work?

    Yes, it's considered tacky.  If you're hoping to get money, then I suggest having a small registry.  If people ask you where you are registered, simply say "we're actually saving up for a house".  People will give you cash (or checks). 


    Thank you in advance for all the advice!! Much appreciated! 

  • So I have a lot of questions about registries! 

    1) Where are some good places to register? I have heard mixed feelings about some stores (Kohls, Amazon, BB&B) and wanted to hear opinions! 

    2) When do I need to finish my registry? I have been told as early as when you send the save-the-dates to as late as sending the wedding invites

    3) How do you feel or have you ever done the money option gifts? I have seen collections for other things such as a honeymoon fund. I am more interested in a fund for buying our first house or renting a place for ourselves. Is that tacky? does it work?

    Thank you in advance for all the advice!! Much appreciated! 
    You don't ever really have to be "done" with your registry, as you should feel free to add items to it up to the day of your wedding, especially if you think you might want to buy something with the completion discount.

    Do not, for the love of all that is holy, sign up for a cash registry.  People will give you cash.  Everybody knows that cash always comes in handy.  Why, oh why, would you give a percentage of your gift to a 3rd party website to write you a check?  That's all they're doing, you know?  Taking money from your guests, scraping a percentage off the top, and giving the remainder to you in a lump sum check.  You can just accept the cash and checks yourself without the middleman and keep your entire gift instead of a percentage of it.
  • We registered at Target, Amazon, and Crate and Barrel.  Target was the least used one, we only received 3 items from that registry.  A lot of our guests were from out of town in Wyoming so the Amazon registry got used pretty heavily since it makes it very easy for people to order online and have shipped to us, and their free shipping is easy to get.  We also liked the Amazon registry because we could add non-conventional items... like we received a bocce ball set, and a horseshoe set.  AND, as we found out on Black Friday, you can use the registry completion code for items that aren't even on your registry.  We used the code to buy a new TV and got 10% off that.  

    Crate and Barrel was my favorite place to DO the registry at, as I love their products.  My shower was all Crate and Barrel items and I also received around $500 in gift cards which made it nice to finish out my dishes so we have a full set.  I also did all of mine online, never stepped foot in a store.  

    I also found it nice to get my registry done early, and just go in later and maintain it.  You'll get busier in the 6 months or so before the wedding so it's nice to have something checked off the list.  Just have to maintain to remove things that might get discontinued or sold out, and add new things that may come up that look interesting, but that takes way less time than the initial set up. 

    And yes, as others have said, if you really just want cash, you just don't register or do one small one at one store/website.  Don't do honeyfunds or straight up ask people for cash.  Despite our 3 registries though, we still received plenty of cash gifts/gift cards.  
    Married 9.12.15
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    [Deleted User]
  • We're registered at BB&B and Macy's. We liked the idea of having more than one option for guests.

    We registered about 2 months into our 13 month engagement. You probably don't have to do it that early but it was one of the things I was looking forward to doing. (Although some members of FI's family were asking where I was registered about a week after we got engaged. Um, nowhere yet...) But as long as you are registered by the time shower invites go out you're fine. And you can always go online and modify. I suggest you start early because it may take more time than you think. FI and I spent almost 2 hours picking out everyday plates and china, then ended up changing both patterns at our next appointment haha. We ended up going to 2 appointments at BB&B and one at Macy's, and still added a bunch of stuff online after.

    Yes, cash registries and honeyfunds are considered tacky. People will take the hint and give you cash if you don't register for a lot of stuff. When you register at Macy's they automatically set you up with a "dream fund" where people can donate toward a Macy's gift card, the idea being that you will use the money on your registry items. We went ahead and removed that option from our registry.
  • We registered at Amazon, Macy's, and Sur la Table.  We did the Sur la Table about a year out, because they offered 10% off the registry for us from the day we registered to a month after the wedding.  FI's roommate was moving out, and it was super helpful in restocking his kitchen/bar cabinet with the basics. He actually registered for a grill and purchased it for the summer.  The savings from the grill were enough to justify the early registry. Plus, Sur la Table has been great to work with from a customer service stand point.

    The downside to registering early has been that we have had to constantly update things that have been discontinued (china, flatware, linens, everyday dishes)...

    We ended up deleting the Macy's registry about 24 hours after we registered.  The sales lady only cared about getting us a macy's card. She wouldn't take polite no's for an answer. I literally had to tell her after the 4th suggestion of card, "Listen, neither of us want to hurt our credit with applying/opening a new card. It will decrease our average age of accounts, and show up as a hard inquiry.  We don't shop here enough for it to make up for the damage to our credit scores."  We realized what we had registered for was available on Amazon at a better price, so we added those and deleted Macy's.  Don't get me wrong, Macy's has some great benefits, but it just wasn't for us.

    The best advice when deciding if/where to register, I could give is to do your research.  What is close to your guests? Will most of your guests go to the physical store or do it online? Does the store offer a completion discount or other benefits? Is there a loyalty program (BB&B coupons, Macy's card discount, Prime shipping)? Do they accept returns easily?  Hopefully, you will be able to figure out what works best for you and your guests.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We registered at Macy's and BB&B. I really liked both options, and one or the other was convenient to everyone on our guest list. 

    You can start whenever you like, but people will start to shop when your invitations and/or when your shower invitations go out. You can continue to edit, but you should have most of your registry up by the time any invitations go out. 

    Please don't do a money registry. You just register for money. Guests write a check to the company, the company takes a cut, and then you get the different. Outside of it being silly to give a company money for no reason, it's rude to register for cash. 
  • SK40509SK40509 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2015
    We registered at Macy's, BB&B, and Crate & Barrel.

    Crate & Barrel holds really nice registry events where the store is closed to the public so you and your fiance can go around the store and register without it being super crowded. They also give you two free stemless wine glasses when you create your registry.

    I will say that the Macy's registry was amazing after the fact because we were able to get 20% off of anything on our registry (even if you just add it to your registry right before you purchase) as a completion discount. I was able to use this on Cyber Monday to save a TON on the remaining china on our registry.

    You should definitely at least start looking at china and everyday dishes early on, because it's so hard to decide! You should try to have the majority of your registry done by the time the shower invites go out.
  • edited December 2015
    We registered at BB&B, Dillard's, and Pottery Barn. 

    The majority of the items on our registry are from BB&B. We attended a registry event they had, "Rock the Registry", where each couple has their own consultant, you get gift bags for attending, etc. They have the widest variety of inexpensive items we want, and the 20% off coupons that virtually everyone gets made it a no-brainer for us. The consultant was super pushy though. She kept trying to get us to register for things that were WAY too expensive and justifying it by saying, "it's not like YOU have to pay for it." Yes, we know, thank you. (We do have some bigger items, but we didn't pick expensive stuff for the hell of it.) We like how easy it is to view/edit the registry online. 

    Dillard's was a must for us. Most of our family is in Arkansas, and it's one of the only major department stores around. This is where we did our china and flatware, among other things. No complaints here so far! 

    Pottery Barn was a complete nightmare. We probably should have deleted this registry, but we've received a couple gifts from here already, and I love the duvet cover and everyday dishes we picked out. We spent about an hour registering in-store, only to find out that there was a glitch in their registry system that day (?) and everything was lost. We went online a few days later and re-added everything we could remember.  Then about 5 weeks later, everything we had chosen in store showed up on the registry, meaning we were double registered for a lot of things. We went online and fixed it, but it took a while. And THEN, I happened to be playing with our registry a week before our first shower, and 75% of the items showed up as unavailable for purchase.  I went in and spent an hour and a half with a consultant who ended up telling me, "sorry, I guess you're just unlucky." Thankfully, this turned out to be a glitch too. Two days later nearly all the items returned to the registry. (Sorry for the rant. I've been holding on to that one for a while ;) )

    We registered early - about 7 months out. It hasn't been a problem so far. We picked mostly classic things that tend to stay in stock year round (nothing seasonal). We've had 2 or 3 things discontinued, but nothing crazy. We'll update it when we're closer to the wedding I'm sure. 

    PP's have it covered on "cash" registries. Just say no. 
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