It's TUESDAY!

labro

TwoDimes said:

@minskat30, awww Raj does have a happy face! Glad to hear he is progressing well!

@jenjen047, that's difficult about your FFIL, but would you consider letting him give the toast just to keep the peace? I guess I don't know all the family dynamics, but I personally would feel like if BOTH my parents are giving toasts, then it would only be fair to allow him to give one if he really wanted to. You could tell everyone to keep it short. Also, you might want to read up on the E board about asking your guests not to take photos. That's typically considered pretty rude. And just in my own experience, guests' photos taken at my wedding are some of my favorites! They got different angles than the pros, and I could access them (via Facebook) much sooner than the pro pics were finished.

All of this. All of it.

@jenjen047 Pictures during the ceremony is just not a hill I would die on. It was really nice to see my guest's photos while I was waiting for my pro-photos to come back. Nobody jumped in the aisle, nobody's phone rang, it was all fine.

And re: the suits. Why can't your FFIL just wear his own suit? One of our groomsmen owned a really nice black suit that he had purchased for his own wedding so we told him he would wear that rather than go through the whole tux rental/get measured process. It just doesn't seem worth the battle unless you know he's showing up in brown mohair or something like this...

cu97tiger

@swazzle - I'm so jealous of your breakfast pizza. I ate half a breakfast bar this morning and now I'm starving. It's too early to eat lunch Also, being hungover at work is the WORST. I don't do it often, but I did last Thursday and I just wanted to die. I'd say it's second to be hungover on an airplane, car or bus. Those are the literal worst.

@jenjen047 - It sounds like your FFIL is trying to be difficult, but I'll say this... yes, you can request that people don't take pictures, but you can't FORCE them not to. So communicate your wishes, and then leave it at that. With respect to the speeches... yes, speeches can get long and boring (DH had two best men, and they both gave crazy long speeches. I was trying not to yawn, but they meant SO MUCH to DH.). But these are your loved ones who want to toast you. If he doesn't like the RD idea, then I say let him give a toast at the reception and ask him to keep it short because there are four other people speaking.

@minskat30 - Actually, for us, we'd make beaucoup bucks if they had moved us. They pay for everything (movers, closing costs, plus bonuses), so I can't even really be excited about that part of it. The best part, to me, is staying near my family. Another year or two of watching my niece and nephew grow up will be fun! I'm glad Raj is feeling better!

@peaseblossom55 - We have killed at least 10 mice in our house in the last 6-8 months. It's insane. Luckily they stay in the basement or under our sink. They probably know better than to mess with the dogs.

wink0erin

@jenjen047 To keep peace I'd probably let him give the toast, and just ask to keep it short. With that many toasts hopefully everyone's is short anyway! 

Re: Photos, may I ask why you don't want guests taking photos? Is it a venue thing (flash photography) or just a preference? 

minskat30

@labro - I had to LOL.  I typed "not a hill to die on" in my post originally too re the photos and deleted it because H is always making fun of my random phrases.  I love that you used it.  This is yet another reason we are sisters at heart.  

@cu97tiger - Well, that does suck then.  I thought you guys had to move yourselves.  Being close to your nephew and niece though is a major bonus.  

Peaseblossom55

@cu97tiger I've never had a mice problem before and now I'm wondering how it got in the house and how we can keep it from happening again. When it rains it pours.

Swazzle

@jenjen047 - I don't get the no photo thing, personally. I feel like you're just causing added stress on yourself with that one. It seems pretty unfair to me that your parents are allowed to give a speech but you're forbidding your FFIL from giving one. If you're already having 3-4, 1 more is not going to hurt things. 

lavenderfields13

TwoDimes said:

@minskat30, awww Raj does have a happy face! Glad to hear he is progressing well!

@jenjen047, that's difficult about your FFIL, but would you consider letting him give the toast just to keep the peace? I guess I don't know all the family dynamics, but I personally would feel like if BOTH my parents are giving toasts, then it would only be fair to allow him to give one if he really wanted to. You could tell everyone to keep it short. Also, you might want to read up on the E board about asking your guests not to take photos. That's typically considered pretty rude. And just in my own experience, guests' photos taken at my wedding are some of my favorites! They got different angles than the pros, and I could access them (via Facebook) much sooner than the pro pics were finished.

i know other people mentioned this too after Dimes. I like some of my guests pics of the ceremony more than the professional ones! I really wouldn't make this request. You're definitely not going to notice what other people are doing while you're up there and the professionals will still get the shots they need.

@minskat30 Yay for Rajah healing well! Good luck with that long to do list you've got! I still need to do Christmas shopping too. Ugh. 

MissKittyDanger

@minskat30 yay Raj! Glad he's doing better

@jenjen047 Could you give them all a time limit for speeches? We did that. There were a few people who wanted to speak that we knew ahead of time, then when we opened it up for those who wanted to speak they weren't long either.
I'm not sure I understand the "no photo" idea. We originally considered it, but then we would have missed some great moments with our wedding party! Is there an option to have no flash, that way if people want to take a photo it won't interrupt?

wink0erin

MissKittyDanger said:

@jenjen047 Could you give them all a time limit for speeches? We did that. There were a few people who wanted to speak that we knew ahead of time, then when we opened it up for those who wanted to speak they weren't long either.

I like this idea, but only if you use the Jeopardy theme in the background. Or play them off like on the Oscars. Haha!

jenna8984

@swazzle I just came across this and you need it lol

http://www.lookhuman.com/design/104024-i-do-what-i-want?&utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=pint lh 97762-i-do-what-i-want&pp=0

Swazzle

jenna8984 said:

@swazzle I just came across this and you need it lol

http://www.lookhuman.com/design/104024-i-do-what-i-want?&utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=pint lh 97762-i-do-what-i-want&pp=0

Feel free to have me for SS next year! 

MissKittyDanger

@wink0erin  brilliant! We should have done that lmao

AlPacina

@peaseblossom55 - A friend of mine never had mice until a bush in her yard grew big enough to provide the mouse a path into a higher vent. Keep your eye out for something like that if it's uncommon.

@swazzle - *whispers, because of the hangover* I did not know breakfast pizza was a thing, but I'm really glad I do now!

@TwoDimes - This is so freaking exciting! Nephew time, ahhh!!!! My first nephew was born when I was 9. It was the coolest. . . Now he's a teenager and I kind of hate him, haha. I'm not blaming that on him though. I kind of just hate teenagers. Hell, I hated myself when I was a teenager.

@MissKittyDanger - Fingers crossed it's not a root canal situation!

@jenjen047 - I'm surprised you hated Blue Apron that much! Last week I was a big fan of all 3 recipes, which is rare. Was the packaging all messed up or something?....... I feel you on the family drama too. I feel bad that my BF's family basically imploded right when his brother got engaged. It will be interesting to see if it sorts itself out before his wedding in June.

@minskat30 - I feel like in between picture postings I forget how massive Raj is, haha. I'm so glad he's starting to feel better!

--------------------

Daily update:

My hair looks SO FUCKING GOOD today.

That's pretty much it.

jenjen047

@minskat30 - Definitely cut yourself some slack! Gift cards are fine, IMO.

@wink0erin - I love stuffing.

ETA: @alpacina - No the packaging was fine. I just prefer that HelloFresh packages each meal in its own small box so everything is more organized both for storage and for actual cooking.  Pics of hair?

@lavenderfields13 @cu97tiger @swazzle @minskat30 @labro @wink0erin @mskittydanger @twodimes - Sorry I guess I should have elaborated more...

Re: Suits - FFIL made the decision to rent a tux with the BP. We did not require it of him. If he wanted to wear his own suit he could have.

Re: Photos - I don't give a crap about people being in the moment or whatnot. I'm also not worried about it distracting me. My only concern is about people getting in the way of our professional photographers to take their own pictures and/or people's flashes interfering with the flash for our photographer. At my cousin's wedding guests were literally stepping out into the aisle in front of the photographer to take pictures. If we could rely on people using common sense I wouldn't have an opinion one way or another and I agree they might get some nice shots. But since people seem to have lost their common sense when it comes to that, I'd rather ask people not to take photos. Ultimately if they choose to disregard that then there is nothing I can do.

Re: Toasts - My parents are hosting the wedding. I like the idea of giving a time limit, but like @wink0erin pointed out, you really can't do anything about it if they decide to ramble on. Of course adding 1 more toast isn't the end of the world but at the same time making a toast at the RD instead of the reception isn't the end of the world either. I think it's worth us stating our preference. If he takes it well then it's a win-win. If he doesn't like it then we will cross that bridge.

FWIW, the decision is totally up to FI since it's his family. FI is wary of his dad giving a toast at the reception because he has the tendency to put down his kids past the point of "all in good fun teasing" and FI doesn't want to sit there for 2-3 minutes while his dad rags on him in front of 120 guests. At the same time he also knows he can't control what his dad says, so he feels it's best to keep those floodgates closed or at least have his dad do the toast at the RD with a much smaller audience.

wink0erin

Sidenote: I am listening to the Wicked soundtrack at work because I couldn't get the song Defying Gravity out of my head all last night and this morning. 

AlPacina

wink0erin said:

Sidenote: I am listening to the Wicked soundtrack at work because I couldn't get the song Defying Gravity out of my head all last night and this morning. 

@wink0erin - You're hardcore! I definitely can't listen to it without belting it out. . . And losing my voice.

It's pretty much an "in the car only" sort of song for me, haha.

I had to watch Annie the other night because I couldn't get Tomorrow out of my head. It happens.

ETA: tag

Swazzle

AlPacina said:

Daily update:

My hair looks SO FUCKING GOOD today.

That's pretty much it.

 Prove it. 

Swazzle

wink0erin

@jenjen047 A good photographer can work around problem guests. I've shot weddings... I've legit stepped in front of guests, asked them to step aside, etc. It's annoying, but it's part of being in the industry. If they get snippy (very rare) I remind them that the couple is paying my friend and I to be there specifically to take photos. I don't see a problem with having the officiant ask guests to put their phones and cameras away to enjoy the moment, but there's nothing that can be done and people will still take pictures and be assholes if that is their nature. I actually got a great picture at one wedding of an uncle holding up an ipad to record the whole ceremony. I focused on the ipad and the couple is in the background. Things like that round out the journalistic aspect of wedding photography. 

AlPacina

Swazzle said:

AlPacina said:

Daily update:

My hair looks SO FUCKING GOOD today.

That's pretty much it.

 Prove it. 

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. (Although I wish I had taken this an hour ago)

jenjen047

@twodimes @wink0erin - Sorry I should have clarified more....my request is only for the ceremony. During the reception I don't care if people take pictures and I agree they will get different angles and I'll have their pics sooner than the pro-pics, so that's all good! But if someone leans out into the aisle to take a picture of our first kiss and that gets in the way of my photographers shot, that's not cool with me. So I'd rather make the request and if people choose to ignore it, then so be it.

ETA: @alpacina - Fierce hair! Did you do it yourself?

Swazzle

@AlPacina - Damn girl. You look like you came from the salon!

Swazzle

PSA for my fellow Liane Moriarty fans: The Last Anniversary ebook is on sale for $1.99 for Kindle and nook today. 

MissKittyDanger

@jenjen047  Can you have your officiant {or who ever is marrying you} request no flash photography during ceremony?

@AlPacina love your hair and my fingers are crossed too!

@Swazzle agreeing so much to sleeping

AlPacina

@swazzle - That's what I'M saying!

@jenjen047 - I literally did nothing different than usual with my hair this morning. Apparently it just knew I needed to look fierce as hell for my two meetings with no one important, haha.

ETA:

jenjen047

@twodimes - Valid point, but again I feel it's worth making the request. As far as how to make the request....we haven't really decided yet. There are printables on Etsy like this, but I think just a brief announcement from the officiant before the ceremony might be better.

jenjen047

Here is an interesting article I came across over the summer that really pushed us more towards wanting to request for our guests no to take photos during the ceremony LINK

jenjen047

@twodimes - I agree and plus the sign is an extra expense and something else to set up/take down, find a place for, etc.

[Deleted User]

@jenjen047 The photographer's job is to make sure they get the shots they need, and that includes letting guests know if they get in the way.  I saw my photographer tell a guest or two, very professionally, that they needed to move, etc.  I think you care too much about this right now, it really will resolve itself.  Promise.

labro

@jenjen047 I've read that article. I think it's an incredibly unfair representation. While that one photo may have been "ruined" because of the flash, your photographer is taking a million photos a minute. Digital photograph is SO amazing because our only limitation is the number of gigs on the memory card. Your photographer can take image after image, capturing the "moment" in 10 shots or more. So while one photo may be "ruined", the next photo taken 1/36th of a second later is perfect and glorious and the EXACT SAME as the one before minus the flash interruption. IMO, it's still ridiculous that you feel the need to treat your guests like children instead of adults. Like @wink0erin said, a good photographer can and does manage guests during the ceremony and reception. They can adjust for potential flash photography and will have no issue with telling a guest to move it if they are actually causing THAT much of a problem. Does your photographer have a second shooter? Have two pro photogs also makes a difference in being able to capture the ceremony from all angles without interference from guests (even without telling them anything). I totally get the fear, but you really should just try to let it go and not let it be that thing that's bothering you now or on your wedding day.

I find that telling people NOT to do something often leads to them being more likely to do it, just to spite authority. And asking people not to take photos isn't going to stop people from doing it anyway. Kind of like door locks keep out good people, but if a bad guy really wants in, he's coming in.