Am I Invited? Paperless Post evite

NotATotalBetty

My fiancé received a Paperless Post e wedding invite from a couple: he knows the groom.  The e invite is addressed to him only, with FIANCEFIRSTNAME FIANCELASTNAME on the envelope and a button below saying "will" or "will not" attend.

He forwarded it to me as an FYI, but I am not sure if I am invited or not.  When I asked him, his response was "of course you are", but having never seen a Paperless Post evite, I don't know if when you click "will attend", does it pop up to fill in plus one or guest information?   (I didn't click the button to find out being that it's five months away so I don't even know if we'd go right now, and if only he is in fact invited, he's not going).   From how it is laid out, I would assume I am not invited.

We will probably have to ultimately ask the host/couple, but just wondering if anyone else has been invited by evite before, and if this looks like I am or am not invited.

Thanks! 

holyguacamole79

NotATotalBetty said:

My fiancé received a Paperless Post e wedding invite from a couple: he knows the groom.  The e invite is addressed to him only, with FIANCEFIRSTNAME FIANCELASTNAME on the envelope and a button below saying "will" or "will not" attend.

He forwarded it to me as an FYI, but I am not sure if I am invited or not.  When I asked him, his response was "of course you are", but having never seen a Paperless Post evite, I don't know if when you click "will attend", does it pop up to fill in plus one or guest information?   (I didn't click the button to find out being that it's five months away so I don't even know if we'd go right now, and if only he is in fact invited, he's not going).   From how it is laid out, I would assume I am not invited.

We will probably have to ultimately ask the host/couple, but just wondering if anyone else has been invited by evite before, and if this looks like I am or am not invited.

Thanks! 

I've only received one paperless invite.  I just found it, and it was addressed to me + guest.  The funniest part is that I was engaged at the time that I received the invite, but my (then) FI was not listed on the invite.  It had been years since I had talked to the bride, so I raised an eyebrow at the fact that I was even invited.  It also didn't help that there were 3 receptions (1 immediately following the ceremony, 1in the bride's hometown, and 1 in what I assume was the groom's hometown).  2 of the 3 receptions were potluck (according to the invite).

I don't recall how their RSVP worked and if you were able to indicate the number in your party.  I just clicked "no", rolled my eyes, and forgot about it.

So, based on the invitation as you receive it, it sounds like you're not invited (womp, womp).  

                                                                                          

JediElizabeth

NotATotalBetty said:

My fiancé received a Paperless Post e wedding invite from a couple: he knows the groom.  The e invite is addressed to him only, with FIANCEFIRSTNAME FIANCELASTNAME on the envelope and a button below saying "will" or "will not" attend.

He forwarded it to me as an FYI, but I am not sure if I am invited or not.  When I asked him, his response was "of course you are", but having never seen a Paperless Post evite, I don't know if when you click "will attend", does it pop up to fill in plus one or guest information?   (I didn't click the button to find out being that it's five months away so I don't even know if we'd go right now, and if only he is in fact invited, he's not going).   From how it is laid out, I would assume I am not invited.

We will probably have to ultimately ask the host/couple, but just wondering if anyone else has been invited by evite before, and if this looks like I am or am not invited.

Thanks! 

I have no idea. I'm caught on the evite being sent out 5 months in advance....

holyguacamole79

JediElizabeth said:

show previous quotes

My fiancé received a Paperless Post e wedding invite from a couple: he knows the groom.  The e invite is addressed to him only, with FIANCEFIRSTNAME FIANCELASTNAME on the envelope and a button below saying "will" or "will not" attend.

He forwarded it to me as an FYI, but I am not sure if I am invited or not.  When I asked him, his response was "of course you are", but having never seen a Paperless Post evite, I don't know if when you click "will attend", does it pop up to fill in plus one or guest information?   (I didn't click the button to find out being that it's five months away so I don't even know if we'd go right now, and if only he is in fact invited, he's not going).   From how it is laid out, I would assume I am not invited.

We will probably have to ultimately ask the host/couple, but just wondering if anyone else has been invited by evite before, and if this looks like I am or am not invited.

Thanks! 

I have no idea. I'm caught on the evite being sent out 5 months in advance....

Now that I go back and look at the one I referenced, the Evite was sent out 4 months in advance.  RSVPs were requested 2 months before the date.

yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

NotATotalBetty

Thanks @holyguacamole79 !  And yes @JediElizabeth the whole thing is very odd: timing, evite, me being left off/uninvited (maybe).  It's destination, but 5 months out still seems excessive.

I guess at the very least I can use this as a teachable moment for my etiquette-poor fiancé as to why invitations need to be clearly addressed, SOs names need to be learned in advance, and paper invites are still preferable, so silver lining. 

jacques27

I used evites.com for a surprise birthday party I hosted.  It really depends on how the sender set it up and I can't really speak for paperless post.  It's been a couple years, so my memory is foggy.  I will say, that I kinda screwed up the first few invites because I didn't realize that I could enter as many names as I wanted in the name field independent of the email address.  So when I entered the email address and I was using Jane Smith's email address to invite Jim and Jane Smith, I just wrote Jane Smith in the name field since I was associating it with her email address, not realizing that what I wrote in that column is actually what appears on the virtual envelope.  So that's one thing to consider.

Another thing I remember is I had the option to set how many guests per invite could respond or I could leave it open ended and they could respond with however many they wanted.  So for my uncle and his son, I set the guest limit on their invite to two.  For my cousin's family, I set it to allow up to 8 so she and any combination of spouse/kids could come.  Again, not sure how Paperless Post works, but another consideration.

So, this probably didn't help clarify, unless he tries to respond with 2 guests instead of just himself and gets the smack down by the evite - then they probably purposely set it up that way and you really weren't invited.  Otherwise, if it allows him to do that, then I think it's still just really unclear whether you were intended to be invited or if they are just really inept at setting up the evites.  But I just wanted to throw in my experience that the set-up can be kind of confusing for the sender's end, too.  It's also the reason why I won't ever use evites for anything more formal than happy hour or an open house style event. 

lembaslover

I was invited to a holiday party with paperless post. I couldn't go so I declined but I do believe you can just click on the invite itself and see the webpage without RSVPing yet. Since I declined I didn't get to see if it offered me a +1 or not but on this event the guest list was shown to everyone and I did see a lot of people had just their name and then a (+1) next to it. That makes me assume it's like evite and you can setup how many guests you want to allow.

I guess the only way to know without submitting your RSVP is to ask the couple. Or he could always decline and say something like I'm not okay attending without my FI. Then maybe the couple will realize they made a mistake... I used a similar service for our rehearsal dinner but would never use it for the wedding itself. It was a bit confusing to set up and most people just ended up texting me saying they were coming or not.

CMGragain

Attention, all new Knotties!  This is one of the reasons that e-vites are NOT appropriate for weddings.

PamBeesly524

The only paperless post invite I've gotten was for a birthday party.. It was sent just to me but when I RSVP'd yes it asked how many guests you were bringing, so I put 1 down for H. I also knew the couple well who were throwing it and knew H was invited. I know this isn't super helpful for you but I'm thinking that if you clicked yes, maybe you could see if you are invited.

Either way though I don't love evites, and this is one of the reasons!

thisismynickname2

Just have your fiance ask them. Say, "Thanks for the invite! Hey, I'm not really familiar with this Paperless Post process. Is NotATotalBetty invited with me? I just wanted to make sure, thanks!"

Look, once my long-time boyfriend received an invite (out of town) to a wedding for old college friends. No guest indicated, certainly not my name. I assumed I wasn't invited and he didn't ask them. He showed up and everyone asked him where I was. Turns out I was invited; calligrapher messed up, and the groom didn't ask him about the RSVP figuring we'd broken up or something and was too nervous to ask.

Mistakes happen, doesn't hurt to check politely. Emphasis on politely. 

MairePoppy

It looks like they are asking your fi to fill your name in when he responds. Do they know your full name? 

ChelleJayne

My family used Evite A LOT. We use it for Christmas, birthday parties, Thanksgiving, etc. Its nice because it keeps a head count and people can say what they are bringing (food wise). But I would never use it for a wedding. Makes me shudder to even think about it.

Knottie51972556

I think you're fine - if it included the FIANCENAME things (lol) then they are going to assume he's bringing a plus one.

holyguacamole79

Knottie51972556 said:

I think you're fine - if it included the FIANCENAME things (lol) then they are going to assume he's bringing a plus one.

The invite was addressed to her FI, so when it says FIANCENAME, that means his name.  

For example, if the OP's name is Susan & her FI's name is John, John received the evite and it was addressed to John.