Two maids of honor?

Alexia&Daniel

I have three friends I want in my wedding. One I've known for over 20 years. So by default she is my maid of honor. But I have another friend that I'm closest to. She is very helpful and willing to help with anything. She has the time and dedication. She helped my fiance come up with a proposal! Anyway, I can see how she would be a better fit as the maid of honor but I can't do that to my oldest friend. (I would be mad if it was done to me.) So, is it possible to have TWO maids of honor? Or do I just name the second one a bridesmaid and ask her to help the MOH? HELP! Thanks!!!

littlemushroom

You can have two maids of honor. I did. It worked great and no one was wondering why.

JediElizabeth

Alexia&Daniel said:

I have three friends I want in my wedding. One I've known for over 20 years. So by default she is my maid of honor. But I have another friend that I'm closest to. She is very helpful and willing to help with anything. She has the time and dedication. She helped my fiance come up with a proposal! Anyway, I can see how she would be a better fit as the maid of honor but I can't do that to my oldest friend. (I would be mad if it was done to me.) So, is it possible to have TWO maids of honor? Or do I just name the second one a bridesmaid and ask her to help the MOH? HELP! Thanks!!!

Sure! I have a Maid and a Matron of honor, but they would both be maids if one didn't get married last year. They'll both be matrons of honor if the other gets engaged and married in the next year or so.

geebee908

You certainly can give that honor to both of your friends, but don't base that honor on what your friends can do for you- they only have to show up for your wedding in the dress you and they have decided upon (based on the lowest budget) prepared to stand next to you at the ceremony.

Time and dedication shouldn't come into play. Anyone can offer to plan pre-wedding parties, and no one but you and your FI are responsible for the planning and execution of your ceremony and reception.

geebee908

Alexia&Daniel said:

I have three friends I want in my wedding. One I've known for over 20 years. So by default she is my maid of honor. But I have another friend that I'm closest to. She is very helpful and willing to help with anything. She has the time and dedication. She helped my fiance come up with a proposal! Anyway, I can see how she would be a better fit as the maid of honor but I can't do that to my oldest friend. (I would be mad if it was done to me.) So, is it possible to have TWO maids of honor? Or do I just name the second one a bridesmaid and ask her to help the MOH? HELP! Thanks!!!

JIC

glasgowtolondon

Yeah, the whole 'time and dedication' part, what does that mean exactly?

I'm thinking that if out of only 3 bridesmaids 2 are MOH...where does that leave the third friend? It's quite a small group to have two MOH. If you must have a MOH (and you don't actually have to) maybe just pick one so that there isn't only one girl left out.

AddieCake

I'm confused how anyone is the MOH "by default" just because you've known them longer. I also don't understand anyone being "a better fit" or having "time and dedication," but it all makes me suspect you're expecting the MOH to be super helpful to you in making and doing and planning regarding your wedding stuff. That's a concept you need to stop factoring in because nobody is obligated to do anything for your wedding other than you and your fiancé. 

Have 1, have 2, have 3, have none. I had no MOH. They don't do anything different than a bridesmaid anyway, so it's just a title. 

OliveOilsMom

geebee908 said:

You certainly can give that honor to both of your friends, but don't base that honor on what your friends can do for you- they only have to show up for your wedding in the dress you and they have decided upon (based on the lowest budget) prepared to stand next to you at the ceremony. Time and dedication shouldn't come into play. Anyone can offer to plan pre-wedding parties, and no one but you and your FI are responsible for the planning and execution of your ceremony and reception.

Ditto all of this.  Also, think about how have 2 MOHs with 3 total could make the last woman feel.  Maybe make them all BMs with no honor distinction.

kmmssg

OliveOilsMom said:

geebee908 said:

You certainly can give that honor to both of your friends, but don't base that honor on what your friends can do for you- they only have to show up for your wedding in the dress you and they have decided upon (based on the lowest budget) prepared to stand next to you at the ceremony. Time and dedication shouldn't come into play. Anyone can offer to plan pre-wedding parties, and no one but you and your FI are responsible for the planning and execution of your ceremony and reception.

Ditto all of this.  Also, think about how have 2 MOHs with 3 total could make the last woman feel.  Maybe make them all BMs with no honor distinction.

dammitwhereistheboxdammitwhereistheboxdammitwhereisthebox

OliveOilsMom for the win.

aurianna

Agree with PPs. You can have two MoH. You can have no MoH. No rules on that (but I do agree that 2 MoH and one other bridesmaid may make the other BM feel bad).

Regardless, definitely don't ask the one girl to help the MoH.
Bridesmaids and maids of honor have no duties, so asking one to help the other implies that both of them have things they need to do.

All either needs to do is show up on time and relatively sober for the wedding, in the attire in the agreed upon budget, walk down the aisle, and smile for pictures.

If this one girl is as into helping out with the wedding as you make it sound, odds are she will make contact with the MoH on her own, offer to help you on her own, and/or offer a pre-wedding party on her own.

The people who want to help out with the wedding will offer, so no need to ask.

Good luck with the wedding!

[Deleted User]

First, I would like to thank you for properly pluralizing Maids of Honor.  I cringe every time I see Maid of Honors.... Ick!

Second, they don't have to do anything for you, so take that out of the question and decide who is your nearest and dearest.  And honestly, with three, singling one out seems a little silly, though perfectly acceptable.  But singling out two of three basically is the equivalent of singling out the only Bridesmaid as a lesser friend.  So, since you probably don't want to do that, I'd stick with one or zero maids of honor.