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Wedding Invitations & Paper
Knottie1251661
member
Response Cards vs. RSVP Website
I plan on including a response card and stamped return envelope with my wedding invitations, but we have a wedding website for our guests to RSVP. Since not all of our guests will use the website, I think it's important to include the response card and stamped envelope.
I hate to waste a bunch of stamps if most people are going to use the website to RSVP, but I don't want to be tacky by not including a stamp.
What have you done?
I hate to waste a bunch of stamps if most people are going to use the website to RSVP, but I don't want to be tacky by not including a stamp.
What have you done?
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Re: Response Cards vs. RSVP Website
If you want to do something, then I would use the cards and preaddressed, stamped envelopes. Many people don't like online RSVPs, and in some cases, do not have Internet savvy or even access.
Yes, it's certainly possible that some envelopes and stamps will go to waste-just as it's possible that food and drinks at your reception, which you are presumably spending money on, will not be consumed and will be thrown out. Them's the breaks.
Traditional etiquette requires that guests respond in writing on their own stationary and use their own stamp and envelope, but I wouldn't chance that these days. People are accustomed to the convenience of fill in the blank RSVP cards, with addressed and stamped envelopes.
Short answer - yes, you must include postage on all the RSVP envelopes.
I will say if you do online RSVP I would purchase a custom domain (nameandname or namelovesname) to make it extremely simple. I despise getting cards with theknot.com/wedding/crap/92304829034-date-wedding/somanyslashes.html that I have to manually type in.
Why so many online RSVP haters? Takes 10 seconds.
People who aren't tech savvy can easily pick up the phone, and those who are will have no problem sending a quick email or using the website.
I think in this day and age, electronic communication has become the norm, and it's also usually the most reliable way to send and receive important information anyway.
While it's still expected that wedding invitations themselves are paper goods that are physically mailed, I think the responses are a different story. It's all about making things as comfortable and convenient as possible for your guests, right? It sure is easier for me to shoot a quick email from my phone than to fill out a response card by hand and mail it on time.
I have reconsidered my opinion on the RSVPs. As long as you're providing the option of responding by mail, it's fine. The op wants to know if she has to stamp all the RSVP envelopes. I say yes, there's no way of knowing which method the invitees will use to respond.
Would I be surprised that an RSVP envelope doesn't have a return stamp? Yes, as it's been the norm the last few decades. Does that mean the couple is rude for not providing one? Not at all.
Honestly, it's the guest's responsibility to RSVP to an invite. Wedding or otherwise. If your friend texts you do say "do you want to see a movie tonight". You reply right? Well it's the same for wedding invitation.
Because some guests are rude and do not RSVP when invited to a wedding some people try to make things easier. That is why the pre-stamped envelopes came about. When that start it was met with some push back. Some people couldn't understand why people need something to make RSVPing easier. Which I understand. Someone invites you to an event you RSVP. Not hard.
Fast forward to now and online is becoming a popular way to RSVP and again there is push back. Which is kind-of silly. RSVPing is the guest's responsibility. The how is pretty irrelevant. If you do not want to RSVP online you simply do not have to RSVP that way. You are free to send a note via a courier if you want. Or call, text, email or send something via USPS.
While the host might prefer a certain way for their guests to RSVP, they need to be happy anyway the RSVP is received.
If my grandparents and great-aunts and uncles were living, this is something that they would not be comfortable with. Nor would my ex-BF's mother-she's so scared of the Internet that she has no connection or email address at all, so expecting her to RSVP by email is expecting the totally unrealistic.
And some people prefer not to do it over the phone for their own reasons. Maybe they're afraid of catching you at the wrong time, when you can't talk or write down their message or think you won't remember it later.
Weddings can be special, meaningful, and solemn without being formal. And what do most people do with their formal paper RSVPs once they get them all back? They end up in a landfill. How special!
I personally am at least moderately tech-savvy, but I still prefer to mail back the RSVP card. A wedding is more important than a backyard BBQ. I prefer to treat the whole event like it matters a little more than some pool party.
I love handwritten correspondence so I always return a card when given the opportunity.
My return address labels are on my wedding invitation envelopes, so those who wish to mail a response are welcome to, but that's their responsibility. People who are the type to "forget" to respond or leave it to the last minute are probably going to do so whether they're expected to call, email, use a website or mail a response. However, I would absolutely argue that my friends and family who are this type are much more likely to remember to send an email RSVP or call, especially if they've left it to the last minute and know that I won't get their response card in the mail on time anyway.
Further, I have wedding invites going out to Japan, Vietnam, Denmark, Scotland, Canada and the U.S. The likelihood that my international guests are going to have their response lost in customs, or that it'll take a ridiculously long time to get to me is a lot higher. Not to mention the postage is a lot more expensive. I think this is the beauty of electronic communication in the age of a global community.
The only purpose an RSVP serves is to let the host know how many people are coming. It does not itself lend an event significance.
I'm 28 and pretty tech savvy, but I hate being on my computer from 7 am until 10 pm, so I just don't use much technology beyond the work day. I'm also exceptionally forgetful when it comes to smaller tasks (like RSVPing) so if I don't do it immediately, it probably doesn't get done and if it does get done, it get's done very late.
I get so much go damn emails these days. Like hundreds a day that go into my junk mail (which is everyone not in my contact list). An emailed invite is more than like going to missed. Especially with all the spam mail these days. I do not trust e-invites. I rarely open them. I never open e-cards. Many years ago I was hacked from them.
Basically if you want to send me an evite you better call me to give me a heads up or plan on tracking my RSVP down because chances are I deleted it before realizing what it was.
RSVPing online is not big deal to me at least. I get why others do not like them, which is fine. There are other options to RSVP.
However, this is completely impractical in today's day and age. It doesn't work!
I think the more options you give your guests, the better your chances of getting responses in time. I was once guilty of losing an RSVP to a wedding, and I was very embarrassed at having to track down the bride (whom I didn't know) and respond by telephone.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a backyard BBQ for a wedding. (I don't see how you took an insult, perhaps you are being a bit sensitive here?) But a wedding is still more important than a random BBQ, even if they both serve the same food. I prefer to go the extra step to show my reverence for the wedding.
Just as I'd never send engraved letterpress invitations to a pool party, I would use the more formal means for wedding correspondence.
We put the response information on the left side of the back, with the return address on the right side.