Cake Stories

holyguacamole79

KnottieTaylor said:

@glasgowtolondon The bottom line here is that cupcakes are cake.. they are being made by the same bakery that is making our main cake in the exact same flavor and style.

Some people have entire cupcake towers, some have a larger cake. We're doing it 50/50. 

To clarify, my post is to ask for feedback from those who have done it this way, not to rearrange my plans.

Thanks!

@climbingwife See above. Thanks!

So, let's say that someone comes on here and says, "yes, I did it this way and I completely regret it".  Then what? 

KnottieTaylor

@climbingwife If the possibility of receiving an alternate form of cake is relatively disasterous for you, then I question what happens when you don't get anything at all in any given situation.

I think it's fair to assume that you're ignoring that I've stated multiple times that I know my crowd, so please don't pretend that you actually do.

JediElizabeth

charlotte989875 said:

JediElizabeth said:

PoodleDoodleOoo said:

I don't understand why you don't just pick cupcakes or regular cake. If you can't afford a 4 tier cake (or however many you need) just do sheet cake.  I personally prefer sliced cake over cupcakes, but I'm not going to throw a cupcake across the room in a tantrum if that is what is offered. And definitely have enough to feed every guest.

I don't understand why she has to choose, as long as everyone gets cake. At this point, slice or cupcake, it's really about aesthetics. It's all the same cake.

Isn't it ok to have cake with different flavored tiers, even though not all guests get served every flavor (as long as they're of comparable quality)? This is pretty much the same thing.

As long as everyone is hosted well and equally, it's about taste. And it would be boring if we all had the same tastes.

I don't think having to choose is a problem, no one is saying guests should get both. Some may prefer cupcakes, others cake. I think the point, or at least my point, is that if some guests get to choose between cake or cupcake, every guest should get to choose. Some shouldn't have to have cupcakes just because that's what is left.

I mean...it's all cake.

Maybe I'm just not getting the difference. It's not like chicken vs beef, where some guests would be upset if they were forced into one or the other...if it's the exact same recipe, it's going to taste exactly the same, have the same icing....just look different.

Personally, I think that @knottietaylor is fine, given all the info she gave here.

climbingsingle

KnottieTaylor said:

@climbingwife If the possibility of receiving an alternate form of cake is relatively disasterous for you, then I question what happens when you don't get anything at all in any given situation. I think it's fair to assume that you're ignoring that I've stated multiple times that I know my crowd, so please don't pretend that you actually do.

When brides come on here insisting they "know" their "crowd", it's usually in defense of doing something rude. Something that deep down, they know is not the correct way to host. Good luck to you. 

climbingsingle

Also, I recently attended an outdoor wedding, with a cocktail reception after. There was not enough seating, and not enough tables. And trust me, people talked a lot of shit. Even the brides friends. 

charlotte989875

JediElizabeth said:

charlotte989875 said:

JediElizabeth said:

PoodleDoodleOoo said:

I don't understand why you don't just pick cupcakes or regular cake. If you can't afford a 4 tier cake (or however many you need) just do sheet cake.  I personally prefer sliced cake over cupcakes, but I'm not going to throw a cupcake across the room in a tantrum if that is what is offered. And definitely have enough to feed every guest.

I don't understand why she has to choose, as long as everyone gets cake. At this point, slice or cupcake, it's really about aesthetics. It's all the same cake.

Isn't it ok to have cake with different flavored tiers, even though not all guests get served every flavor (as long as they're of comparable quality)? This is pretty much the same thing.

As long as everyone is hosted well and equally, it's about taste. And it would be boring if we all had the same tastes.

I don't think having to choose is a problem, no one is saying guests should get both. Some may prefer cupcakes, others cake. I think the point, or at least my point, is that if some guests get to choose between cake or cupcake, every guest should get to choose. Some shouldn't have to have cupcakes just because that's what is left.

I mean...it's all cake.

Maybe I'm just not getting the difference. It's not like chicken vs beef, where some guests would be upset if they were forced into one or the other...if it's the exact same recipe, it's going to taste exactly the same, have the same icing....just look different.

Personally, I think that @knottietaylor is fine, given all the info she gave here.

Fair enough. I guess because I don't love cupcakes (unpopular opinion I know!) that is be annoyed if I was at a cake and punch reception, saw other people get cake, and by the time servers for to me there wasn't any left. Yes, cupcakes are similar and fine, but I find them messy to eat and I would be annoyed since that was the main method guests are being hosted.

I agree cake and cupcakes with the total being enough for everyone is fine. I'm just suggesting erring on the side of more of both to make sure everyone gets what they would like is the best way to make this type of reception work well.

AW3380

I look at it this way, no matter what you offer somone is probably going to take issue with it!  My cake will be similar in concept to what you are having, cupcakes on a stand with small two-tier cake on top.  There will be plenty for everyone and we are hosting a full dinner buffet as well.  Some who prefer a slice of cake may have to settle for a cupcake and vice versa but that's just life sometimes.  Yes its important to be a good host and as long as every guest who wants to partake can be served cake in some form you have done your duties!
I have found weddings in my family and circle of friends, people have preferred to take home their cake rather than eat it at the reception which also led to my decision to have cupcakes since they are generally easier to transport. 

Jen4948

I would just do either cupcakes or tiered cake and cut whichever you're serving, but not both. I think it will confuse your guests if you offer not enough for everyone to have both a slice of cake and a cupcake but have to make a choice.

cupcait927

AddieCake said:

We had a small cake for cutting and then cupcakes from the same baker for the guests. Nobody got a slice of cake. Some people on here even think THAT was inappropriate, so it's not likely many are going to tell you it's ok to let some people eat from the actual wedding cake and not everyone. 

We also had just a small cake for cutting and then cupcakes for everyone else and yeah, some people on here think that's not okay. Honestly, I really don't see an issue with what you're doing, since it's all the same flavor, just presented a little differently. You can a cupcake with a fork and knife the same as you can a piece of cake, so the I don't find the argument that maybe someone prefers a slice over a cupcake to be all that relevant - it all tastes the same, regardless of how you eat it. They're not different flavors, they're not coming out at different times - everyone will have access to cake. 

OliveOilsMom

I'm just amazed that OP is having servers for a cake & punch reception!  That would be so odd to me to have a server come up to me and say "slice or cupcake?", especially if they are the same flavor.  Why aren't you just having a big dessert display, wouldn't that be a lot easier and people can help themselves.

Also, it is rude to have a "cocktail hour" for a cake & punch reception that features pie.  If you want to have a cocktail hour for pictures, then provide more food than pie.  All you are doing is serving sugar on top of sugar.  If you need to have any further pictures taken after the ceremony (more than 15 minutes) you should be doing them after your reception.  A cake & punch reception will not last as long as one where a meal is served, so don't keep your guests waiting. 

holyguacamole79

OliveOilsMom said:

I'm just amazed that OP is having servers for a cake & punch reception!  That would be so odd to me to have a server come up to me and say "slice or cupcake?", especially if they are the same flavor.  Why aren't you just having a big dessert display, wouldn't that be a lot easier and people can help themselves.

Also, it is rude to have a "cocktail hour" for a cake & punch reception that features pie.  If you want to have a cocktail hour for pictures, then provide more food than pie.  All you are doing is serving sugar on top of sugar.  If you need to have any further pictures taken after the ceremony (more than 15 minutes) you should be doing them after your reception.  A cake & punch reception will not last as long as one where a meal is served, so don't keep your guests waiting. 

I also find the cocktail "hour" to be odd.

But considering the other things OP has told us about her plans, nothting surprises me anymore.

RlovesR

Why not serve enough cake for everyone and also have enough cupcakes for everyone in a different flavor?  Then you will have both visual variety and more taste variety as well.  I honestly think you need it, as the menu right now looks like sweetness and nothing else.  Maybe you could have a sweet cake and a less sweet cupcake to balance?

glasgowtolondon

RlovesR said:

Why not serve enough cake for everyone and also have enough cupcakes for everyone in a different flavor?  Then you will have both visual variety and more taste variety as well.  I honestly think you need it, as the menu right now looks like sweetness and nothing else.  Maybe you could have a sweet cake and a less sweet cupcake to balance?

No, variety is restricted to the rehearsal dinner crowd. They seem to be faring much better.

Half the guests have choice and the other half don't by the time the servers come to them. Not a huge deal but the part that kind of bothers me is that you are having a cake and punch reception but you don't seem bothered about the bloody cake. The cake is basically the linchpin of your reception, but it feels like you're just meh about it. I don't get it.

jacques27

KnottieTaylor said:

@PoodleDoodleOoo It's truly not complicated. My guests are relaxed and easy to please. But I appreciate your overwhelming concern for their comfort. I promise they won't suffer too badly if they have to make a choice between desserts.

Well, if you're so damn sure of your crowd and know it won't be a problem and have no intention of rearranging any of your plans regardless of what you're told, why are you posting multiple threads about it to get validation from the internet?  Just do what you're going to do.  Or are you that insecure that you need to have everything validated?  Honestly, what is the purpose of posting here other than seeking validation for something you are already hellbent on doing with no intention of changing?  I mean, basically, here are the potential scenarios:

1.  No one responds that they did it.  Rather than taking this as a sign that maybe it's not a good idea, you'll continue on with your plan because you know your crowd and they are so laid back and fine with everything.

2.  Someone responds that they did it and it turned out great.  You will feel vindicated that this one person totally validated your idea and you'll continue on with your plan.

3.  Someone responds that they did it and it turned out horrible and they ran out of desserts and they totally regret it.  You'll write this off because this person totally doesn't know your crowd like you do and you'll continue on with your plan because you know your crowd and they are so laid back and fine with everything so it will totally work out.

So, it basically all ends the same. Got any questions about things you haven't already decided on and genuinely want opinions on?

SP29

Generally speaking I'm with @JediElizabeth on this- if the cake and cupcakes are the same flavour and quality, what's the diff? As long as there is enough for everyone. (We also had a single layer cake for cutting, then guests were offered vanilla and chocolate cupcakes- we had lots left over, so those who wanted could have had one of each flavour- we also had a candy bar, and our late night buffet had pastries as well).

The only thing odd about this scenario, is that if I saw cake and cupcakes sitting out on a table, I would think maybe they were different flavours and take one of each (because I love ALL dessert! Yes, I'd already have eaten pie too...).

So OP- while I think it's fine to have cake and cupcakes and maybe not have exactly enough for EVERYONE to have one of each, you should have enough of each that people DO have the option to choose and potentially have seconds.  

AddieCake

I agree there's no difference. I think it's just more of an idea or perception that "actual" cake is better. I think OP should do like Cupcait and I did and have a small cake that doesn't get served and just give cupcakes. No cake/cupcake choice. What if more people want cake but can't get it because it's gone and then feel like they got an "inferior" cupcake?

MesmrEwe

No one's answer is going to change nor validate what OP wants to do - it's RUDE to each and every one of her guests!  Giving some guests one portion/style vs. another is rude.  Yes, it is hotdogs vs. steak because both are beef - doesn't mean they're the same presentation. 

AddieCake

I don't think it's accurate to compare cake vs cupcakes with steak vs hotdogs. 

knottie2b256f5c2ae42586

JediElizabeth said:

I mean...it's all cake. Maybe I'm just not getting the difference. It's not like chicken vs beef, where some guests would be upset if they were forced into one or the other...if it's the exact same recipe, it's going to taste exactly the same, have the same icing....just look different. Personally, I think that @knottietaylor is fine, given all the info she gave here.

I agree with @JediElizabeth, but I do also think that if there are 2 options offered, then there should be enough for everyone to choose between the 2 just like @charlotte989875explained.

To me, this is no different than the B&G having their own small cake and serving the guest cupcakes or sheet cake; this scenario just offers two choices instead of one.

MesmrEwe

AddieCake said:

I don't think it's accurate to compare cake vs cupcakes with steak vs hotdogs. 

Portion and composition are entirely different, so yes, the comparison is accurate.  A cupcake is a 2" circle that's approximately 1-1 1/2" tall with approximately 1 tbsp. of icing...  A slice of wedding cake is multiple layers of an average portion size of 1x3x4 or 5" Included in that height is the tablespoon of icing on the top (with more if it's fondant), as well as two to three tablespoons of filling.  Both start out with the same cake and icing, but the end portion and result are entirely different from eachother. 

KnottieTaylor

holyguacamole79 said:

OliveOilsMom said:

I'm just amazed that OP is having servers for a cake & punch reception!  That would be so odd to me to have a server come up to me and say "slice or cupcake?", especially if they are the same flavor.  Why aren't you just having a big dessert display, wouldn't that be a lot easier and people can help themselves.

Also, it is rude to have a "cocktail hour" for a cake & punch reception that features pie.  If you want to have a cocktail hour for pictures, then provide more food than pie.  All you are doing is serving sugar on top of sugar.  If you need to have any further pictures taken after the ceremony (more than 15 minutes) you should be doing them after your reception.  A cake & punch reception will not last as long as one where a meal is served, so don't keep your guests waiting. 

I also find the cocktail "hour" to be odd.

But considering the other things OP has told us about her plans, nothting surprises me anymore.

@holyguacamole79 I find your responses quite rude to be honest.

I wish you the happiest of holidays and hope that the upcoming new year treats you better.

@OliveOilsMom Servers in a formal setting were not mentioned, nor are they part of our plan.

I only stated that there would be someone to serve both the cake and cupcakes.. This would be the one singular person cutting the slices of cake for everyone. Not a group of servers hired to present cake options in suits and ties.

There will be a large dessert display for guests to access filled with additional food options. Thus, more food than our miniature pies - that, to also clarify, I did not say were sweet sugary pies.

Thanks!

artbyallie

My advice is still to cut your guest list and/or otherwise provide a chair, a spot at a table, AND a piece of cake for each person invited.

holyguacamole79

@knottietaylor, 2015 was actually pretty good to me; I'm not sure why you think otherwise.

You're asking for feedback, right?

Here's what I understand about your plans. Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding anything.

You're looking to have a "pre-wedding event" cocktail-attire party the night before the wedding. The invite list is a subset of your wedding guest list.

The next day, you're having a short, non-religious ceremony. After, you'll have an hour where mini pies are served to your guests (I assume you'll be taking pictures?). You'll have some cake and some cupcakes. There will be some seats, but not enough for all.

It really seems that your focus on the night before is mis-directed. I suggest taking the energy and money and put it towards hosting all of your guests at your reception. I also suggest cutting the time down between your ceremony & reception. I wouldn't expect a cake & punch reception to last longer than an hour. It sounds like you'll have a short wwedding (10-15 minutes), followed by an hour of waiting and mini pies, followed by a reception. This is a relatively long time to stand around.

Good luck!

holyguacamole79

KnottieTaylor said:

There will be a large dessert display for guests to access filled with additional food options. Thus, more food than our miniature pies - that, to also clarify, I did not say were sweet sugary pies.

Thanks!

Whoa, what?

AddieCake

MesmrEwe said:

AddieCake said:

I don't think it's accurate to compare cake vs cupcakes with steak vs hotdogs. 

Portion and composition are entirely different, so yes, the comparison is accurate.  A cupcake is a 2" circle that's approximately 1-1 1/2" tall with approximately 1 tbsp. of icing...  A slice of wedding cake is multiple layers of an average portion size of 1x3x4 or 5" Included in that height is the tablespoon of icing on the top (with more if it's fondant), as well as two to three tablespoons of filling.  Both start out with the same cake and icing, but the end portion and result are entirely different from eachother. 

Not necessarily. My wedding cake had no layers and no filling, and our cupcakes had far more icing on them per cupcake than a slice of the cake had. 

spockforprez

For visual variety, have a small, one-tier cutting cake and then serve everyone cupcakes. People do this all. the. time. In fact, someone in this thread did it and posted a pic! (I think it was @holyguacamole79 but too lazy to scroll back up). 

It's not a Solomonesque dilemma. I really don't understand why this thread is two pages.

KnottieTaylor

holyguacamole79 said:

@knottietaylor, 2015 was actually pretty good to me; I'm not sure why you think otherwise.

You're asking for feedback, right?

Here's what I understand about your plans. Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding anything.

You're looking to have a "pre-wedding event" cocktail-attire party the night before the wedding. The invite list is a subset of your wedding guest list.

The next day, you're having a short, non-religious ceremony. After, you'll have an hour where mini pies are served to your guests (I assume you'll be taking pictures?). You'll have some cake and some cupcakes. There will be some seats, but not enough for all.

It really seems that your focus on the night before is mis-directed. I suggest taking the energy and money and put it towards hosting all of your guests at your reception. I also suggest cutting the time down between your ceremony & reception. I wouldn't expect a cake & punch reception to last longer than an hour. It sounds like you'll have a short wwedding (10-15 minutes), followed by an hour of waiting and mini pies, followed by a reception. This is a relatively long time to stand around.

Good luck!

@holyguacamole79 I think your responses are misdirected as no where in this thread have I mentioned concrete plans for my pre-wedding party, seating, etc.

I think what you're misunderstanding is the feedback I'm asking for.

To reiterate.. I am asking for feedback from those who served cupcakes and cake to their guests, with options of one or the other.

Those of you who have responded to this thread accurately, it's definitely appreciated.

Thanks!

Sherbie25

If I'm at a wedding and all I'm being offered is cake as opposed to a dinner, you can be damn sure I'm having 2, maybe 3 pieces of cake! I'd be wanting a slice and a cupcake. I should be able to have both. 
If you're not giving people dinner, only cake you should be able to afford all the cake you need-enough for everyone. If you can't afford enough cake, then make adjustments elsewhere. If money isn't an issue, buy a bigger bloody cake!

KnottieTaylor

@Sherbie25 Please see below.

holyguacamole79 said:

KnottieTaylor said:

There will be a large dessert display for guests to access filled with additional food options. Thus, more food than our miniature pies - that, to also clarify, I did not say were sweet sugary pies.

Thanks!

Whoa, what?

holyguacamole79

KnottieTaylor said:

holyguacamole79 said:

@knottietaylor, 2015 was actually pretty good to me; I'm not sure why you think otherwise.

You're asking for feedback, right?

Here's what I understand about your plans. Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding anything.

You're looking to have a "pre-wedding event" cocktail-attire party the night before the wedding. The invite list is a subset of your wedding guest list.

The next day, you're having a short, non-religious ceremony. After, you'll have an hour where mini pies are served to your guests (I assume you'll be taking pictures?). You'll have some cake and some cupcakes. There will be some seats, but not enough for all.

It really seems that your focus on the night before is mis-directed. I suggest taking the energy and money and put it towards hosting all of your guests at your reception. I also suggest cutting the time down between your ceremony & reception. I wouldn't expect a cake & punch reception to last longer than an hour. It sounds like you'll have a short wwedding (10-15 minutes), followed by an hour of waiting and mini pies, followed by a reception. This is a relatively long time to stand around.

Good luck!

@holyguacamole79 I think your responses are misdirected as no where in this thread have I mentioned concrete plans for my pre-wedding party, seating, etc.

I think what you're misunderstanding is the feedback I'm asking for.

To reiterate.. I am asking for feedback from those who served cupcakes and cake to their guests, with options of one or the other.

Those of you who have responded to this thread accurately, it's definitely appreciated.

Thanks!

That's the funny thing about these boards, @KnottieTaylor. .. your post history is easily accessible.

Also, you can't control how people reply to you.

You're basically looking for someone to say, "yes, I did what you did and it was perfect!" I don't think you'll find that here.