Wedding Invitations & Paper

Do you need to send a save the date to everyone?

My wedding is June 2016. I joined a roller derby team about 3 months ago.  I practice 3 nights a week with a group of around 40 girls, and about 6 of us have become quick friends.  I am about to send my Save the Dates out next week but feel weird about sending them out to these girls on my team because our friendship is so new.  I am quite certain our friendship will grow considering the amount of time we spend together and how well we already get along.  Anyhow, can I hold off on sending out STDs to them but still invite them to the wedding when I send out my invitations when the time comes? I will be definitely sending STDs to 2 of the girls that I knew before joining the team. (I don't plan on sending out STDs to anyone that won't get an invitation.) Thanks in advance.
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Re: Do you need to send a save the date to everyone?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Only send them to people you are 100% certain you will be inviting. You don't have to send one to everyone. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    SP29MairePoppythisismynickname2[Deleted User]
  • edited December 2015
    I've got the same thing with my netball team, I play with them 3 times a week so I actually spend more time with them that my bff! I definitely want to invite them but decided not to give them std's. We only sent std's to people we are non-negotiable about inviting. The way I look at it is we have no idea if our budget could become unmanageable for whatever reason (unemployment, unexpected home expense), or if currently single guests meet a SO between now and October, hell I could get fed up with netball or injured and hardly see them anymore. Any of these things could mean we have restrictions on our list that we didn't plan for. Don't tie yourself into anything you don't have to, invitations are fine!

    Eta: words are hard today!
                 
    charlotte989875Heffalumpjustsuzie[Deleted User]
  • STDs are never required and best reserved for your VIPs (those you *know* you will be inviting to the wedding).

    I would not send STDs to this group, and send out invitations when the time comes based on your relationships then. 
  • Thanks all.  I thought STDs went out to everyone.  This will save me a lot of time!
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  • justsuzie said:
    Thanks all.  I thought STDs went out to everyone.  This will save me a lot of time!
    No, in fact many people get into big trouble because of this.  Like a previous poster said, what if you lose your job or have a huge unanticipated expense and need to cut your numbers?  Cutting the guest list is an easy way to cut money, but you can't cut numbers if you've already invited everyone with STDates.  Then you find yourself scrambling to find a cheaper florist or whatever and end up with a debt you didn't need.  Even a paper form of STDates are unnecessary.  You can just call up your VIPs and tell them that you've booked a venue and that they should put your wedding on their calendar and make sure they make plans to attend.  "Sally, I picked a date!  Save the eleventeenth of Octember for my wedding!  Squeee!"
  • Agreed with all--we only sent our STDs to the FOR SURE folks on the list.  It felt a little weird, and I couldn't really brag about how cute they turned out on social media, but am glad that we did it that way to allow us some flexibility now that we are getting close to finalizing the guest list.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    justsuzie said:

    My wedding is June 2016. I joined a roller derby team about 3 months ago.  I practice 3 nights a week with a group of around 40 girls, and about 6 of us have become quick friends.  I am about to send my Save the Dates out next week but feel weird about sending them out to these girls on my team because our friendship is so new.  I am quite certain our friendship will grow considering the amount of time we spend together and how well we already get along.  Anyhow, can I hold off on sending out STDs to them but still invite them to the wedding when I send out my invitations when the time comes? I will be definitely sending STDs to 2 of the girls that I knew before joining the team. (I don't plan on sending out STDs to anyone that won't get an invitation.) Thanks in advance.

    Since sending save-the-dates commits you to inviting anyone you sent them to, don't send anyone whom you're not absolutely certain you want to invite. That would include coworkers, group members, and anyone else on your guest list who's not a definite "yes, we're inviting them."
  • I got engaged last December and started a new job in March.  I knew I would invite my team from work to the wedding because by the time the wedding came I knew we would have a good relationship and I would want them there.  I sent all my STD out but not to anyone at work, then when it came time to send invites, they all got one.  
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