Budget Weddings

Friday Weddings. What are your thoughts?

Okay. Honest opinion. How do you really feel about Friday weddings? My fiancé and I are considering having a Friday wedding to save some money, but we’re concerned some of our guests might find it inconvenient. Of course we’d send save a dates well in advance to give people ample time to take off work, but is it selfish to ask people to use up their PTO to attend my wedding?    

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Re: Friday Weddings. What are your thoughts?

  • I'm okay with Friday weddings. If I wasn't super close to you and it was inconvenient I might decline but on the whole I'd definitely make the effort. And if it was local but I couldn't get off work for whatever reason I'd definitely attend in the evening if I could.

    Friday is like part of the weekend, its only a problem if I'm low on holiday from my employer!
                 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    edited December 2015
    It depends on many factors. One of my cousins had a Friday wedding, and it was really inconvenient for me to be able to get there after work. Granted, I could have taken a day or half a day off, but being a teacher means sometimes it is more work to be out than to be at work. But I'm not completely opposed to them.

     I think you just need to check with your VIPs to see if it is convenient for them. No time or day is going to work for everyone, so you just have to do your best.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I'm OK with Friday weddings, as long as they don't start too early. If your ceremony starts at 5pm and I need to travel 2 hours to get to it, that could be an issue. Otherwise, I'm fine and I much prefer Friday weddings over Sunday weddings. 

  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN
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    It really depends on what time you plan on starting the wedding. My cousin had her wedding on a Friday night, and it started at 7. It was only a couple of blocks away from my work, so I was able to meet up with DH and my mom for dinner and a drink beforehand. If it hadn't been so close by, I may have had a difficult time making it on time.

  • I'm fine with Friday weddings but thus far, it hasn't been a big issue to take off work early and figure out where to bring the kids.   As my children get older, they may be more of an issue if we have logistics of pulling kids out of school early / missing activities.

    It's going to depend a lot on your guest list as well.   If most of your guests don't have 9-5 jobs then it could be easier.   Generally, the later it starts, the easier it is on your guests. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    For me, it's a Catch-22 about time. I need it to start later so I can get home from work, clean up, and get there. However, if it goes too late, I'm leaving early. I get up at 5:00 for work, so I'm kind of a fuddy-duddy about being out late on Friday nights b/c I'm too tired to enjoy myself. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • All of this ^^^, plus if you do decide on a Friday wedding, I would strongly advise you to skip the rehearsal if at all possible, unless everyone is local and the timing doesn't interfere with work.  I was in a Friday wedding once, and ended up having to take Thursday off as well to travel to the site and participate in the rehearsal.  (I was young; knowing what I know now, I most likely would have skipped the rehearsal.)  This also goes for any kind of WP prep--it will be a lot easier on people if they don't have to show up at 10:00 a.m. on a Friday for hair and makeup, getting ready photos, etc.  I would do these things for a sibling/close cousin/best friend, but probably not anyone else.

    Just things to consider.
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish
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    It depends. If you're close and we don't need to take time off of work, I'm fine with it. Just don't forget about the hell that is Friday traffic or the fact that we may need to move kids around. (I know Fridays are a mess for my sister with my niece in daycare. For us, Fridays are when we move The Kid between parents so it's also messy.)

    If you have a 7 PM wedding, it's great and life is easy. Just don't expect me to stay until midnight- I got up early and need my sleep. If you have a 5 PM wedding, I may not be able to make it.

    If you're out of town, Fridays and Sundays are the same issue- I'm going to need to take time off from work and arrange child care. You need to be very special for us to attend.
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  • At the end of the day - it costs the same to feed someone on a Saturday as it does a Monday.  It's also the same for florists, DJ's, hall rentals, etc.  Hotels cost the same for a Friday night as they do for Saturdays most of the time.  The only way you really "save" is because of more declines. 

    IMO, if 100% of your guest list is local, a Friday can work as long as you start late enough for your guests to be done with their jobs and you have just a short ceremony.  7 or 7:30 start time is ideal.  But at the end of the day, there's a reason weddings went from "whenever" to primarily being on Saturdays - because it's just more convenient for people. 

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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
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    If you're family or a close friend and give me plenty of time to plan, I'm OK with Friday weddings.  I'll take PTO for close friends and family.  I'm having a Tuesday wedding (OOT) and have had NO backlash surprisingly enough, so I can't say anything about a Friday wedding. 

  • MesmrEwe said:

    At the end of the day - it costs the same to feed someone on a Saturday as it does a Monday.  It's also the same for florists, DJ's, hall rentals, etc.  Hotels cost the same for a Friday night as they do for Saturdays most of the time.  The only way you really "save" is because of more declines. 

    IMO, if 100% of your guest list is local, a Friday can work as long as you start late enough for your guests to be done with their jobs and you have just a short ceremony.  7 or 7:30 start time is ideal.  But at the end of the day, there's a reason weddings went from "whenever" to primarily being on Saturdays - because it's just more convenient for people. 

    This just isn't true. We had our wedding on a Monday and our venue rental was 1/4 the cost of a Saturday, 1/2 the cost of Sunday or Friday. Plus we got a 50% discount on photographer and 25% discount on videographer since they would normally not have any job. Food and bar did cost the same as any other day but our other savings made it possible to have our wedding where we wanted it. It also worked out that due to our VIPs schedules Monday was a better day for them. We did get a much higher decline for non-VIPs so we did save by more declines also but that isn't the only savings. Just ask your vendors if they will give you a deal and you may be surprised with what they offer. 

    After having a weekday wedding my personal opinion is it works great if you want a small or intimate wedding but you will get a lot of declines so if you want a big bash then plan a Saturday and cut costs some other way.
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  • I had a Friday wedding. Before we booked anything we checked with VIPs and anyone who we could not have imagined our wedding without. We started at 6, had just bride and groom pictures before hand and had a late rehearsal. Everyone was local (except us and Hs sister) so it worked out.

    We saved money on the venue (the room minimum was much lower on a Friday) as well as on DJs and limos (off peak pricing) so it's not correct that he only way you save money is through declines.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
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    edited December 2015
    MesmrEwe said:

    At the end of the day - it costs the same to feed someone on a Saturday as it does a Monday.  It's also the same for florists, DJ's, hall rentals, etc.  Hotels cost the same for a Friday night as they do for Saturdays most of the time.  The only way you really "save" is because of more declines. 

    IMO, if 100% of your guest list is local, a Friday can work as long as you start late enough for your guests to be done with their jobs and you have just a short ceremony.  7 or 7:30 start time is ideal.  But at the end of the day, there's a reason weddings went from "whenever" to primarily being on Saturdays - because it's just more convenient for people. 

    This just isn't true. We had our wedding on a Monday and our venue rental was 1/4 the cost of a Saturday, 1/2 the cost of Sunday or Friday. Plus we got a 50% discount on photographer and 25% discount on videographer since they would normally not have any job. Food and bar did cost the same as any other day but our other savings made it possible to have our wedding where we wanted it. It also worked out that due to our VIPs schedules Monday was a better day for them. We did get a much higher decline for non-VIPs so we did save by more declines also but that isn't the only savings. Just ask your vendors if they will give you a deal and you may be surprised with what they offer. 

    After having a weekday wedding my personal opinion is it works great if you want a small or intimate wedding but you will get a lot of declines so if you want a big bash then plan a Saturday and cut costs some other way.
    Our case too.  Aside from the venue, our photographer and DJ also gave us a nice discount for a non weekend wedding.

    Another thing I like to point out, since our wedding is mostly for OOT guests, the room rental is cheaper from Monday - Thursday at our venue (on site lodging was a plus for me).  I saved my guests $60/night by doing it "mid week", and most would have to stay for 2+ nights.

    ETA: double checked the webpage, and it's $70/night savings for them.

  • We had our wedding on a Friday night. The ceremony started at 6:30 and we had a 45 minute cocktail "hour". We shortened the cocktail hour a bit so guests wouldn't be eating dinner past 8:00. I get crabby if I eat dinner too late so I definitely didn't want that to happen. I also made sure the appetizers for cocktail would be filling (beef tenderloin crostini, chowder & clamcake, etc.) to hold people over that were coming from a long day at work. 

    A good percentage of my wedding guests were also teachers that had the summer off (wedding was in July), so that helped us figure out if Friday would work. Just check with vip guests first. I also like that Friday weddings allow for guests to still have the rest of the weekend to themselves.


  • How do I personally really feel? I hate them. I know you're just trying to save money. It's much less convenient for me. Do I have to fly out Thursday? Do I need to take a half day Friday? I do not want to. When do I have time to get ready? I will be tired by 9 like I am every Friday.

    Also, I do not care if you give me enough notice to get the time off work. I may not feel like devoting it to your wedding!

    It's perfectly fine to have a Friday wedding of course, but I for one hate them.
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  • I really prefer Saturday morning/afternoon weddings.  I don't drive at night any more, and I like to get home at a reasonable hour.  You can save more money by having an afternoon wedding than by having an evening wedding on an alternate day.
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  • SP29SP29
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    edited December 2015
    I am fine with Friday weddings, but I have a relatively easy time taking a day off, I am more than happy to make it a 3 day weekend to take off the whole day.

    If it involves travel, then I would decide just as I would for any other wedding- how much time would I need off, and how much will it cost to fly and lodge.

    One of my friends had a Friday wedding back in March. One thing I did notice, was that a lot of people left early (9-11pm, when the DJ was booked until 1am) because they were tired from the work week, or they had come after work and had now been up since early in the morning.

    OP- have you actually gotten quotes from venues? When I was shopping around, I asked about Friday prices (as I had been told they were *so* much cheaper), and found that most places gave only %15 off (which is pretty much just the tax in Ontario). All other vendors would've been the same price. Yes, that is a few thousand dollars, but we didn't feel the savings justified guests taking an extra day off (we had a fair number of OOT guests). 
  • edited December 2015
    Thank you, everyone! I appreciate your honest opinions. All good points to consider. 
  • We live in Pittsburgh. Only one family and a BM (cousin) live out of town. Everyone else is local. The one venue we looked at waives the minimum spend for Friday/Sunday weddings and other venue we're going to go look at has some discounts too, which I believe is around 15%. There would be some savings with photographers and vendors too. 
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
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    edited December 2015
    Honestly, unless you, the groom and most of your VIPs have a 'non-traditional' jobs (that doesn't work m-f), weekday weddings to scream to me: "my vision is more important than your attendance". I know a couple people that had Tuesday or Thursday weddings because they couldn't afford the venue they wanted on the weekend. I heard lots of morning and complaining from guests (who are the types to never complain) about how selfish and inconvenient it was.

    I think a Friday wedding has more to do with the tone of your wedding since Friday is on the cusp- if it's local and more casual, I think it is fine. But I'm not taking time off work to prepare for a local wedding, so if you have a formal wedding on Friday evening, I'm declining. Also, on Fridays, I've been up since 6am so I'm not up for dancing until 1am so if you want a party atmosphere, Saturday is better. Also, if I have to travel, unless you are a sibling I'd decline.

    If it is just a cost issue, I would take a Saturday BBQ/brunch wedding over a Friday evening wedding anyday.
    MesmrEwe
  • I had a Friday wedding and have been to Friday weddings. In my experience, as long as you give people enough notice, most guests are able to attend.
  • Another thing to consider is the time of year. We wanted a fall wedding, and were thinking October on a Sunday to save some money, but the venues often have "winter" or off-season pricing. So by pushing ours back two weeks later than we were thinking we could do a Saturday and it was still cheaper than doing the Sunday. 
    SP29
  • I think traffic needs to be a consideration too. Especially in a metropolitan area. I live in the Philadelphia area and my 45 minute commute home from work typically doubles on Fridays. If I need to be at a wedding at 5pm, and it's not right around the corner, I'm leaving approximately 2 hours to get there, meaning I have to leave work early.

    As others have mentioned, it's Friday and I wake up at 5:30am every day, so I'm usually passing out on the couch around 7pm on Fridays.

    You may also get declines due to people having to take vacation time. A few years ago my cousin got married on a Friday. FI had just started a new job and didn't have any vacation time yet, so he had to take a half day and just not get paid, which sucks.
    MesmrEwe
  • I'll just give you the run down for us. We are doing a Friday night wedding, it will start at 5 and is at least a 2hr drive for the closest guests. I'm the second to last cousin to get married in my family so everyone wanted me to pick a "cool" spot that they could do a vacation out of so it's at a historic ski lodge. His family all farms so winters they are off anyways for the most part. It works for us and the majority of guests are making it into a long family ski weekend after so the Friday night worked better than a Saturday night. 

    I think it's really a know your crowd thing, i was worried that other than family we would have a lot of declines but we are at about 85% yes on the RSVPs. 

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  • We're having a Friday evening wedding. The ceremony starts at 7. We chose Friday only because FI is Catholic and we would have to start the ceremony by either 2 or 3 pm if we had it on Saturday. Most people in my area are used to this with so many people being Catholic. His brother did the same thing when he got married a few years ago. All of FI family lives in the state and his sister and brother in law are the farthest away (1.5 hours). This brother in-law is in the wedding along with the children and his sister doesn't work. It's also in the summer so kids won't have school. My family is mainly local, except my brothers who are both part of the wedding and my aunt and uncle who are both retired.

    Every wedding I've been to for FI's family has been an evening wedding where a large group goes out afterwards and parties into the evening. I think his family would be disappointed if we had an earlier start time on a Saturday and there wasn't as much of an after party. One of my bridesmaids has been to and a part of many local weddings and said most of the Catholic ones she's been to were Friday night weddings. Apparently the gap thing isn't common in my area or maybe just in my circle of friends.

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  • I am honestly not a fan of Friday weddings.

    First I have to take off work early to have the time to go home, get prepared and go to your wedding (if early in the evening) or I will be too tired to stay late as I am up at 5:30AM (if later in the evening).  If I have to travel more than 2 hours this will require a full day off work and a possible hotel room as I do not trust myself to drive home that late in the evening.  Factor in, if there are any pre-wedding activities planned for the day(s) before I will not attend unless local.

    All in all, there are worse things you could do, and Fridays are better than Sunday evening weddings...I have been to both.  I think the best approach to this question is a know your crowd thing.  If the VIPs are good with it, and the bulk of your guest list is local, and the time line is reasonable I would have no problems with it.

    MesmrEwe
  • Let's state the obvious- A Friday wedding will save you so much money. Your favorite vendors will probably be available and you can probably negotiate cheaper rates merely because what else would they be doing on a Friday night?

    ALSO, if they love you, they will come. I've attended Monday and Tuesday weddings- sometimes people take the week off work and make a vacation into it. A Friday wedding could be even better if your family lives far enough away that they would need to commit to taking that day off and traveling anyway or your family and friends all live very close so they can come right after work. 

    Finally, this might give you greater flexibility with your guest list. Perhaps you can invite all the people you want knowing many of them won't make it but you'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you didn't have to leave anyone out.  And, they will still send you love, good wishes, and maybe even a gift. And if by some chance they all love you so much that they all decide to attend- then you will have saved money by hosting it on a Friday instead of a Saturday. 

    It really boils down to your community- friends and family. If they don't mind, why should you? But if they're all a bunch of fussy kids who don't care enough to take half a day off work to spend the most important day of your life with you- perhaps it's better if they're not there to begin with. Eh. 
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    ajones25 said:
    Let's state the obvious- A Friday wedding will save you so much money. Your favorite vendors will probably be available and you can probably negotiate cheaper rates merely because what else would they be doing on a Friday night?

    ALSO, if they love you, they will come. I've attended Monday and Tuesday weddings- sometimes people take the week off work and make a vacation into it. A Friday wedding could be even better if your family lives far enough away that they would need to commit to taking that day off and traveling anyway or your family and friends all live very close so they can come right after work. 

    Finally, this might give you greater flexibility with your guest list. Perhaps you can invite all the people you want knowing many of them won't make it but you'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you didn't have to leave anyone out.  And, they will still send you love, good wishes, and maybe even a gift. And if by some chance they all love you so much that they all decide to attend- then you will have saved money by hosting it on a Friday instead of a Saturday. 

    It really boils down to your community- friends and family. If they don't mind, why should you? But if they're all a bunch of fussy kids who don't care enough to take half a day off work to spend the most important day of your life with you- perhaps it's better if they're not there to begin with. Eh. 
    Your attitude is gross and shitty as hell.



    InLoveInQueenswellnowMesmrEwe
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
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    ajones25 said:
    Let's state the obvious- A Friday wedding will save you so much money. Your favorite vendors will probably be available and you can probably negotiate cheaper rates merely because what else would they be doing on a Friday night?

    ALSO, if they love you, they will come. I've attended Monday and Tuesday weddings- sometimes people take the week off work and make a vacation into it. A Friday wedding could be even better if your family lives far enough away that they would need to commit to taking that day off and traveling anyway or your family and friends all live very close so they can come right after work. 

    Finally, this might give you greater flexibility with your guest list. Perhaps you can invite all the people you want knowing many of them won't make it but you'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you didn't have to leave anyone out.  And, they will still send you love, good wishes, and maybe even a gift. And if by some chance they all love you so much that they all decide to attend- then you will have saved money by hosting it on a Friday instead of a Saturday. 

    It really boils down to your community- friends and family. If they don't mind, why should you? But if they're all a bunch of fussy kids who don't care enough to take half a day off work to spend the most important day of your life with you- perhaps it's better if they're not there to begin with. Eh. 
    Wow, what a shitty, entitled attitude. 
    STARMOON44InLoveInQueenswellnowMesmrEwe
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