Handfasting

Knottie1443143973

Has anyone done this/Is anyone planning on incorporating this into your ceremony? I think it's a beautiful idea, and I saw it done at one wedding, where a number of important people each tied one ribbon around the couple's hands. I thought it might be a great way to honor a few people who did not make the BM/GM cut? 

JediElizabeth

Minabird said:

Has anyone done this/Is anyone planning on incorporating this into your ceremony? I think it's a beautiful idea, and I saw it done at one wedding, where a number of important people each tied one ribbon around the couple's hands. I thought it might be a great way to honor a few people who did not make the BM/GM cut? 

I only know handfasting as a pagan ceremony, but IMHO, handfasting is about the couple, and (for many) their god(s). The cords are used to tie the two of you together symbolically. I don't personally think it should be used to honor people who "did not make the cut" to be honored as your bridal party.

Just invite them as guests - that's honor enough. If you have a handfasting (and they really can be very lovely), have your officiant or one of your parents tie the chords. 

AddieCake

I agree. Unity ceremonies that you incorporate in your ceremony should be for uniting you and your fiancé. 

artbyallie

Ditto Jedi and Addie.

holyguacamole79

I was at a wedding where there was a hand fasting with family members of the couple involved. It was awkward because they didn't really know how to tie it. And at the end of it, they took it off.

Don't do it just to honor your friends / family who didn't make the cut. If you do have this, do so because it's of significance to you & your partner.

CMGragain

My daughter's Methodist wedding included handfasting.  It was the pastor's idea.  The pastor tied the couples hands together symbolically with a cloth covered with Christian symbols.

Jen4948

The only way to "honor" anyone who doesn't "make the cut" for your wedding party is to invite them as a guest. That really is an "honor." Aside from the fact that asking them to do anything else comes off like offering them a consolation prize, "handfasting" is meant to join the couple together - not to "honor" or "include" anyone else at the wedding.

Knottie1443143973

Thanks all for your comments!! Given all this. I'm leaning pretty heavily away from the whole thing now... But thankfully there is plenty of time left for us to plan!

softkittywarmkitty

We are doing a handfasting with our ceremony. Our officiant will the our knot, I bought a brautiful braided ribbon cord with colors meaningful to us on Etsy. After the wedding We will display it in our home. But in the end it's our hands being bound, not our friends or families.

TNDancer

CMGragain said:

My daughter's Methodist wedding included handfasting.  It was the pastor's idea.  The pastor tied the couples hands together symbolically with a cloth covered with Christian symbols.

Our pastor kind of surprised us with this as well, taking off his stole.

CharmedPam

we're having one incorporated into our ceremony as well (I'm pagan), but the officiant will do it all, as yes, it's for us only, I would never ask anyone else to participate.

Cookie Pusher

My ceremony included a handfasting. The officiant tied the cords around our hands. The handfasting was for us, not for anyone else.

[Deleted User]

We are having a handfasting! Honestly we are most excited about this because it's the one and only part of our wedding where we aren't sharing our ideas with our guests. It is 100% us and no one else. We loved the idea because you can basically create it however you want. We are even going to make our own cords together (though you can buy some cool ones on etsy). It's unique and meaningful for us. I grew up Roman Catholic he grew up Native American. So we're making our own ceremony. We aren't having other people tie the knots. Our officiant is going to do that. All up to you!

softkittywarmkitty

km674394 said:

We are having a handfasting! Honestly we are most excited about this because it's the one and only part of our wedding where we aren't sharing our ideas with our guests. It is 100% us and no one else. We loved the idea because you can basically create it however you want. We are even going to make our own cords together (though you can buy some cool ones on etsy). It's unique and meaningful for us. I grew up Roman Catholic he grew up Native American. So we're making our own ceremony. We aren't having other people tie the knots. Our officiant is going to do that. All up to you!

I was going to make ours, the cat never loved me so much as when I was practicing a 6 string braid. We decided to go ahead and buy ours, I never liked the look of mine.