My Brother Wants to Invite 2 Friends

Knottie1432584397

My younger brother asked if he can invite 2 friends to my wedding and I am torn on what to do. I don't want to upset him however I have never really hung out with them, I have just met them briefly once or twice. 

Some important things to note:

• My fiance and our parents worked hard cutting down the guest list since we have some concerns on the space for the ceremony
• I just sent out all the invitations 2 weeks ago
• My brother will have plenty of other people to hang out with since I invited our family friend's that we grew up with and are very close to
• We did not invite any of my fiance's sister's friends

Part of me is saying it's just 2 people so I shouldn't make a big fuss. The other part is asking why I should have to spend money to invite his two friends when I had to cut out people I would have liked to invite. Any advice?

STARMOON44

"No, sorry, unfortunately we already had to cut out people we really wanted there."

KnickerGold

STARMOON44 said:

"No, sorry, unfortunately we already had to cut out people we really wanted there."

This ^^^

Invites were already sent out. What are you supposed to do- round up 2 more invites?
How old is your brother? He sounds young but if he will know people there, there's no reason to invite a friend for him--let alone 2! If he was truly, gravely concerned that he would not make it 4 hours without these two people, he should have brought it up much earlier. Even then, you would not have had to accommodate them. A plus 1 is nice, but I've never heard of a plus 2.

AddieCake

Tell him no. Thisis your wedding, not hang out time for him and his friends, and he has people who will be there already.

Jen4948

I'd tell him "No. As unfortunately we've already had to cut back our guest list, we can't add anyone to it."

downtondiva

Nicely but firmly explain to your brother that you're already at capacity and cannot invite anyone else. There is no need to accommodate him on this, especially when there will already be people he knows there.

Maggie0829

He would be getting a big fat no.  This isn't a random party for him to hang out with his friends.  This is your wedding.  Invites have already gone out and you have already had to cut your guest list as it is.  

laurad75

How much younger is your brother that he wants to bring friends to the wedding? 

VicTim328

It sounds like your brother is much younger (high school?).  Before you give the answer, talk to your parents and explain the situation, and your reason for saying no.  If this were me, I'd rather have parental support before answering my brother. 

I would avoid using the "capacity" answer, as that will usually result in an effort to still bring people "when people decline."  It's like the budget restrictions... "well, IF i give you the money to accommodate guests 1-4, then they can come."  It creates a numerical problem that the guest looks to be resolved. 

You can absolutely explain that the list has already been significantly cut, and it would be unfair to FSIL to not get to invite friends. I'd also explain how everyone has made significant cuts and would love to have invited more guests.  Try to end it on a happy note, remind him that some other friends will be there.

lyndausvi

I'm going to go against the grain a little here and say I would have given him a plus one, so he can invite ONE person of his choosing.   That is assuming he isn't in a relationship of some sort.

I gave my SIL and BIL each a plus one.   BIL "gave" his plus one to SIL, so she invited 2 of her friends.   I didn't care at all.

Do you have to give invites to his friends?   Not at all.   I just come from the camp that gives singles plus ones.

Knottie1432584397

Thanks everyone! My brother is just out of college but he doesn't have very many friends who have gotten married yet.

I spoke to my parents and it looks like these 2 friends are a couple who are getting married this summer. My brother is in his wedding party and they invited my parents which is really nice of them. 

After talking to my parents they backed me on not inviting his friends. It was a kind gesture on their part because they want to honor my brother being in their wedding. When it's my brother's turn he can return the favor  

KnickerGold

Knottie1432584397 said:

Thanks everyone! My brother is just out of college but he doesn't have very many friends who have gotten married yet.

I spoke to my parents and it looks like these 2 friends are a couple who are getting married this summer. My brother is in his wedding party and they invited my parents which is really nice of them. 

After talking to my parents they backed me on not inviting his friends. It was a kind gesture on their part because they want to honor my brother being in their wedding. When it's my brother's turn he can return the favor  

Ya that makes no sense- just because his friends are getting married and invited your parents doesn't mean you/your parents need to invite the couple to YOUR wedding.  Especially after the invites have already gone out. 

frenchiekin

Sounds like a hopefully innocent case of your brother probably being clueless about how this whole wedding thing works.  Glad it seems to be squashed!  And yes, he can invite his friends' parents when he gets married if he so chooses - not on you to return that favor for him

ILoveBeachMusic

KnickerGold said:

Knottie1432584397 said:

Thanks everyone! My brother is just out of college but he doesn't have very many friends who have gotten married yet.

I spoke to my parents and it looks like these 2 friends are a couple who are getting married this summer. My brother is in his wedding party and they invited my parents which is really nice of them. 

After talking to my parents they backed me on not inviting his friends. It was a kind gesture on their part because they want to honor my brother being in their wedding. When it's my brother's turn he can return the favor  

Ya that makes no sense- just because his friends are getting married and invited your parents doesn't mean you/your parents need to invite the couple to YOUR wedding.  Especially after the invites have already gone out. 

Glad it all worked out. Maybe you should just give a plus one though so that he can at least have someone there with whom he is friends. Not required but maybe a nice gesture.