Crowdfunding weddings and honeymoons. How is this okay?!

[Deleted User]

One of my BMs suggested a honeyfund. She thought it was a cute idea after attending a shower where the couple had one. This is 100% not something I'm interested in doing. I hadn't even heard of a honeyfund until I got engaged. I didn't want to believe something like this existed, but I had to see it for myself, so I went onto Go Fund Me, and lo and behold, there are a lot couples asking for money for their weddings and honeymoons! I'm sorry, I don't want to offend anyone, but IMO, this is in very poor taste.  I understand most (if not all) of their funding is coming from family and friends, but I still think this bad  etiquette. 

holyguacamole79

FurtureMrsBrooks816 said:

One of my BMs suggested a honeyfund. She thought it was a cute idea after attending a shower where the couple had one. This is 100% not something I'm interested in doing. I hadn't even heard of a honeyfund until I got engaged. I didn't want to believe something like this existed, but I had to see it for myself, so I went onto Go Fund Me, and lo and behold, there are a lot couples asking for money for their weddings and honeymoons! I'm sorry, I don't want to offend anyone, but IMO, this is in very poor taste.  I understand most (if not all) of their funding is coming from family and friends, but I still think this bad  etiquette. 

You're in good company. That is the general concensus here, too.

lyndausvi

so tacky.    

New flash - weddings are a want not a need.

I've attended some beautiful low budget weddings.  Some in family backyards, sitting on lawn chairs.    They are just as married as those who have big blowout weddings. 

kimmiinthemitten

Welcome to The Knot, you'll do just fine here.  

thisismynickname2

It's NOT ok. You get what you can afford. Personal responsibility and all. 

One time a friend of mine gushed about a honeyfund too. I asked him, "Oh really? What company? Hey, before you do that, I just want to tell you that most of those companies collect a fee and then just give the couple cash anyway. A middleman. It's awesome you want to contribute to your friend's honeymoon as a gift but I'd strongly recommend you just write them a check instead."
He took my advice. 

I think people are more than happy to say, "Here's a hundred bucks to put towards that scuba diving I know you wanted to do!" It's the middleman company and veiled cash grab that bothers people. 

mntravelingmama

They're incredibly tacky. If you can't afford the wedding of your dreams, see a JP at the courthouse.  If you can't afford a honeymoon, you don't take one.  The sense of entitlement is crazy out there.

jacques27

Yup. People confuse wants with needs. I think with social media and celebrity culture, a lot of people get an over-inflated sense of self that they are entitled to have "the dream wedding" with all the trimmings.

Personally, whenever I see someone with a Honeyfund, I'm even less inclined to give money. I assume if you've signed up for one of these things where you can have $93 out of $100 instead of taking a check for the full $100, that you must be so incredibly and completely financially stupid that the thought of my hard earned money languishing in your hands makes me cringe.

[Deleted User]

Thank you, ladies! I'm glad that consensus of this site is that crowdfunding weddings and honeymoons, is just plain tacky. I agree with lyndausvi, there are plenty of ways to budget your wedding, and still have a beautiful day.  Or if you want the big, fancy wedding, have a longer engagement, and save up so you can afford it! 
    

MobKaz

FurtureMrsBrooks816 said:

Thank you, ladies! I'm glad that consensus of this site is that crowdfunding weddings and honeymoons, is just plain tacky. I agree with lyndausvi, there are plenty of ways to budget your wedding, and still have a beautiful day.  Or if you want the big, fancy wedding, have a longer engagement, and save up so you can afford it! 
    

Sadly, the tacky train does not begin and end with weddings and honeymoons.  I know someone who received an invitation to a "Backyard Piggy Bank BBQ".  The invitation said, "Eat, Drink, and See Us off to North Carolina.  We'll fill your tummies and you fill our piggy banks". 

I wish I was kidding.  This was a VOLUNTARY relocation where both parties were headed off to new, official, well paying jobs. 

monkeysip

On Christmas Eve, my MIL was showing me a wedding invitation she received from a neighbor's son.  She asked me, "What's that mean at the bottom of the invitation?"

I look at the bottom, and it says, "Sponsors and Donations welcome".  WHAT?  Lol.  I wanted to say, "It means they're really rude"... but I held my tongue.

kimmiinthemitten

monkeysip said:

On Christmas Eve, my MIL was showing me a wedding invitation she received from a neighbor's son.  She asked me, "What's that mean at the bottom of the invitation?"

I look at the bottom, and it says, "Sponsors and Donations welcome".  WHAT?  Lol.  I wanted to say, "It means they're really rude"... but I held my tongue.

I would totally sponsor something like the cake and plaster my last name on it or ask them to name the event like they to a bowl game "Kimmi's John and Jane Doe Wedding."

PrettyGirlLost

kimmiinthemitten said:

monkeysip said:

On Christmas Eve, my MIL was showing me a wedding invitation she received from a neighbor's son.  She asked me, "What's that mean at the bottom of the invitation?"

I look at the bottom, and it says, "Sponsors and Donations welcome".  WHAT?  Lol.  I wanted to say, "It means they're really rude"... but I held my tongue.

I would totally sponsor something like the cake and plaster my last name on it or ask them to name the event like they to a bowl game "Kimmi's John and Jane Doe Wedding."

Like with corporate sponsors for race car drivers?  I'll sponsor your dress and then you bet your ass I want my name and logo plastered across your ass!

CMGragain

Why not just sit on a street corner in your wedding dress with a tin can and a sign that says "Help me go on a honeymoon I can't afford myself"?
Yes, OP, you have the right idea.  Tell that BM to forget the Honeymoon registry.

[Deleted User]

MobKaz said:

FurtureMrsBrooks816 said:

Thank you, ladies! I'm glad that consensus of this site is that crowdfunding weddings and honeymoons, is just plain tacky. I agree with lyndausvi, there are plenty of ways to budget your wedding, and still have a beautiful day.  Or if you want the big, fancy wedding, have a longer engagement, and save up so you can afford it! 
    

Sadly, the tacky train does not begin and end with weddings and honeymoons.  I know someone who received an invitation to a "Backyard Piggy Bank BBQ".  The invitation said, "Eat, Drink, and See Us off to North Carolina.  We'll fill your tummies and you fill our piggy banks". 

I wish I was kidding.  This was a VOLUNTARY relocation where both parties were headed off to new, official, well paying jobs. 

OMG! This blows my mind. With all the people in the world that truly need charitable aid. Sad, sad. 

SP29

MobKaz said:

FurtureMrsBrooks816 said:

Thank you, ladies! I'm glad that consensus of this site is that crowdfunding weddings and honeymoons, is just plain tacky. I agree with lyndausvi, there are plenty of ways to budget your wedding, and still have a beautiful day.  Or if you want the big, fancy wedding, have a longer engagement, and save up so you can afford it! 
    

Sadly, the tacky train does not begin and end with weddings and honeymoons.  I know someone who received an invitation to a "Backyard Piggy Bank BBQ".  The invitation said, "Eat, Drink, and See Us off to North Carolina.  We'll fill your tummies and you fill our piggy banks". 

I wish I was kidding.  This was a VOLUNTARY relocation where both parties were headed off to new, official, well paying jobs. 

Who thinks this is OK?!?!? Obviously these people. But seriously... Fill your piggy bank? WHY?? I honestly think I would be SO confused if I received this invitation. 

DH and I moved back "home" this summer. Total moving costs where in the several thousand dollar range... Apparently we missed out on a lucrative party opportunity . 

[Deleted User]

I am in agreement that these are train wreck marriages waiting to happen. Honey funds and Go fund me accounts are vile, trashy, and downright greedy. I can not stand seeing these on any invite.

It is never okay to shove these down peoples throats, wrapping it in a gag order/ wedding invite. Most individuals following etiquette will not respond that these are disgusting, but it certainly makes people give them the side-eye.