Plus One Etiquette

Knottie98780115

1. How do you decide which guests get a plus one? 
2. Should you give a guest a plus one if he or she is single but won't really know anyone else at the wedding?
3. One guest has let me know she expects a plus one but she isn't dating anyone. I never gave her the impression that she would be getting a plus one but she assumed she would be. How do I handle this situation? We haven't even decided if we want her to bring a guest. Should we give her a plus one just to keep the peace? Or is there a polite way to let her know that she'll be riding solo? 

Hopefully these questions don't come across as rude, I am just very confused by the whole plus one thing! Any help would be much appreciated! Thank you! 

kimmiinthemitten

Knottie98780115 said:

1. How do you decide which guests get a plus one? 
2. Should you give a guest a plus one if he or she is single but won't really know anyone else at the wedding?
3. One guest has let me know she expects a plus one but she isn't dating anyone. I never gave her the impression that she would be getting a plus one but she assumed she would be. How do I handle this situation? We haven't even decided if we want her to bring a guest. Should we give her a plus one just to keep the peace? Or is there a polite way to let her know that she'll be riding solo? 

Hopefully these questions don't come across as rude, I am just very confused by the whole plus one thing! Any help would be much appreciated! Thank you! 

Etiquette dictates that everyone in a relationship is invited with their SO, so for planning purposes I'd plan to add a plus one for all singles so that if they enter into a relationship before your wedding they're counted for.

I'm giving everyone a plus one. They can choose if they want a date for the evening. But yes if you plan on not giving true singles a plus one I would for the guest who would know no one else.

Put yourself in your guests shoes. If you were single, how would you want to be treated?

Ghostie625

1. Anyone in a relationship should be invited with their SO, by name. Truly single people it is up to your discretion (based on budget, venue size, etc.), but like with invites I would add +1s in circles. (Example- FI an I have single relatives who are getting +1s, but our single friends mostly are not.)

2. Yes, IMO, if it's in your budget. We have a lot of single college friends who are all in the same circle of friends, so we're not giving any of them them a +1. One of my single friends from high school won't really know anyone else so she's getting a +1.

3. Nobody is entitled to a +1. If she won't really know anyone else then it would be nice to give her one if you can, but it's not strictly necessary. I would just tell her that, unfortunately, you're unable to extend a +1 to everyone. End of story. However if she starts dating someone between now and your wedding be prepared to invite that person.

glasgowtolondon

We're planning that every guest has an SO for our wedding for budget and number reasons. All partners will be invited, and single people may meet someone between now and october. If it comes to invite time and the single guests are still single we will not give them and +1, but if they do, we will. We have no one coming that doesn't at least know a few other people so no one will be on their own. This way we know now that our guest list is 'worst case scenario' and will either be accurate or lower.

With regards to the friend expecting a +1, either just politely ignore or if you feel you can accommodate and are happy to do so it might be easier to give her one.

[Deleted User]

Knottie98780115 said:

1. How do you decide which guests get a plus one? 
2. Should you give a guest a plus one if he or she is single but won't really know anyone else at the wedding?
3. One guest has let me know she expects a plus one but she isn't dating anyone. I never gave her the impression that she would be getting a plus one but she assumed she would be. How do I handle this situation? We haven't even decided if we want her to bring a guest. Should we give her a plus one just to keep the peace? Or is there a polite way to let her know that she'll be riding solo? 

Hopefully these questions don't come across as rude, I am just very confused by the whole plus one thing! Any help would be much appreciated! Thank you! 

Questions are never rude.  It's your response to our answers that determine whether or not you're rude.  We like helping.  We want you to treat all your guests well.  We might very well be one of your guests.

The previous posters are all right.  Listen to them.

Knottie98780115

Thank you everyone! 

Maggie0829

I gave every single guest a plus one.  Personally, I know that I would be more comfortable going to an event if I could bring someone, so I wanted to extend the same courtesy and comfort to my guests.

Also giving everyone a plus one covers your butt if anyone gets into a relationship between now and your wedding.  This way you won't have any surprises and your budget is already set to cover any additional guests.

lyndausvi

We mostly gave everyone a plus one.   Only exceptions were a few much older relatives that were widows, no history of ever bringing anyone and they ALWAYS come with a relative that was already invited.

I've been on here a long time. I've seen a lot of drama in regards to singles and plus ones.   Those of us who offer a plus one to everyone, tend to have less stress than those who don't. 

Not a hard fast rule of course, but I found that when we decided to give everyone a plus we didn't have the worries others seem to have.   We didn't have awkward conversations that again others seem to have.

A few of our singles didn't bother to bring anyone anyway.

tigerlily6

We're also giving everybody a plus one. Granted, it makes the guest list bigger, but it seems like a basic courtesy, especially for guests who have to travel and may not want to drive several hours on their own. And yes, please invite all SOs. I've had my SO cut from lists before to minimize numbers, and it definitely was sad for me (even if he didn't seem to care much).