HELP with bridesmaid dresses!

Knottie1439587781

I am at a lost and could use some advice. I am having a difficult time with finding bridesmaid dresses that would compliment everyone. One bridesmaid is 5' 1" and another is 5' 11". I have one bridesmaid who has a large tattoo on her back and a quarter sleeve on her shoulder, another bridesmaid that has a tattoo on her forearm on the side (all of these tattoos very visible), and the church is adamant about tattoos being covered. I have a bridesmaid who will also be just a few weeks shy of her due date as well. It seems to be impossible to find a dress that will work for everyone, so I thought maybe just picking a color and maybe a material or something and having my bridesmaids go out and find a dress on their own that will work for their body type? My mom is seriously opposed to this and thinks it will look bad because the dresses might not compliment each other or look good together. Five out of six of my bridesmaids live out of town/state, so it is next to impossible to get everyone together to try dresses on. 

Has anyone done this? Help please

MobKaz

Show your mom pictures of current trends and styles.  Weddings are very different from years ago, and that is a GOOD thing. 

My daughter also had BM's of varying heights and weights.  She asked her friends to select a knee length black dress in a particular fabric.  They did this through David's Bridal.  One friend really struggled finding a dress she liked.  She ended up finding a dress at a local department store and the fabric was NOT the same.  It did not matter at all!  In all, I believe there were 3 or 4 necklines with 6 BM's.  (Notice I don't really remember?  That's because it doesn't matter!)

The pictures still looked perfect.  Why?  Because every girl felt comfortable and beautiful wearing the dress of their choosing.  Their smiles told the tale.  If your mom thinks the cohesive look is better, suggest to her that you will tie up their look with their bouquets.

The other option that may be possible is to find a pashmina that can be worn during church, or some sort of bolero the girls can wear over their dress.

tigerlily6

I'm giving my girls two color choices, any style so long as it's knee-length. Our church has a rule against bare shoulders, so I let the girls know if they chose to get strapless (which is find for the reception), they will need to have a bolero or shawl to wrap around them for the ceremony (I think this would work to cover tattoos, also). Since they all live long distance from me, this is the easiest way, plus I think it is considerate so they can find the best fit for their both their budget and body.

As the photo below shows, I think same color differnt styles still can look very nice. Maybe dig up a few pictures from pinterest and show your mom?

tigerlily6

MobKaz said:

The pictures still looked perfect.  Why?  Because every girl felt comfortable and beautiful wearing the dress of their choosing.  Their smiles told the tale. 

Bingo. That's what you want. 

holyguacamole79

Let them all be comfortable and pick the style that flatters them.

WesternMA0516

I'm ordering from Azazie to get the style of dress that everyone prefers but ensure we get the same color. So far I've ordered the samples and been impressed with the quality and customer service. http://www.azazie.com/

AddieCake

I agree to show you mom pictures of this trend so she can see that it looks great.

holyguacamole79

Here's mine. I just said purple cocktail length. I provided the pashminas.

laurad75

I have three BM's.  I chose three coordinating colors (they each picked one), a fabric and designer then asked the girls to choose a dress style they were each comfortable in.  They are wearing three different dresses that coordinate with each other.  My priority was that they are comfortable and happy.  

I think coordinating dresses rather than matchy matchy is a growing trend and BMs everywhere are thankful for that. 

santiago2615

I have 7 BMs. All different heights and weight. MY FSIL just told the family she is due in July!! (I get to be an aunt!!!!!) I have another BM that is trying to get pregnant. I told them to find a knee length gray dress they feel comfortable and beautiful in. I can't wait to see their styles! 

Knottie1439587781

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

MandTFebruary62011

I like the fact that you are saying color AND fabric.  My friend just said a color and we ended up with most of us with one fabric and one person in a cotton/linen dress.  It did stand out and looked odd because the color was so different in that fabric.  I think different styles is very pretty and is more fun for the wedding party!

artbyallie

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

ChelleJayne

I'm having 2 BM. One is a pear shape and the other just had gastric bypass in November. I have no idea what she will look like when the wedding rolls around in 10 months. I told them they get to pick their dresses with 2 conditions. It has to be red and long. I don't care about the fabric, I just want them to be comfortable.

Knottie1439587781

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

tigerlily6

Knottie1439587781 said:

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

As I also like the idea of providing pashminas for my BMs if needed, I looked this up. They are all over online for $10. I especially like the color selection that Peach Couture has -- seems like one could find a match to wedding colors easily. 

ETA for grammar and clarity.

Viczaesar

Knottie1439587781 said:

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

Yes.  Anything required beyond the dress is your responsibility.

artbyallie

Knottie1439587781 said:

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

Yep. You should not require your bridesmaids to pay for or purchase anything beyond a dress within their budget. The only way they would pay for hair/make-up is if it's not required and they also have the option of doing their own. Which I have done for every wedding I've ever been in. I don't get the obsession with pro make-up and hair (and nails?!) for the wedding party. Hell, I did my own nails and make-up for my own wedding.

Also, just to be clear, you are not dictating a hairstyle/make-up colors/nail colors here? Because please don't do that either.

Knottie1439587781

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

Yep. You should not require your bridesmaids to pay for or purchase anything beyond a dress within their budget. The only way they would pay for hair/make-up is if it's not required and they also have the option of doing their own. Which I have done for every wedding I've ever been in. I don't get the obsession with pro make-up and hair (and nails?!) for the wedding party. Hell, I did my own nails and make-up for my own wedding.

Also, just to be clear, you are not dictating a hairstyle/make-up colors/nail colors here? Because please don't do that either.

No I'm not. Just wanting to do something nice for them. Thanks for the help everyone!

CindyC74

I went thru this as well, every dress i liked looked like they was melons LOL, so we went to davids bridal narrowed it all down to chiffon dress and the oasis which is close to being Teal, im obsessed with Teal, so at the end of the day all the girls settled for one dress so it worked out for us, this dress wasn't super expensive and worked out on all the body sizes and shapes

ahoywedding

santiago2615 said:

I have 7 BMs. All different heights and weight. MY FSIL just told the family she is due in July!! (I get to be an aunt!!!!!) I have another BM that is trying to get pregnant. I told them to find a knee length gray dress they feel comfortable and beautiful in. I can't wait to see their styles! 

Slightly OT, but THIS. This is how you handle a BM's pregnancy. I'm sure your friend & FSIL are grateful you're excited for them, and happy for your wedding!

TeamAwesomeJ&J

artbyallie said:

artbyallie said:

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.Yep. You should not require your bridesmaids to pay for or purchase anything beyond a dress within their budget. The only way they would pay for hair/make-up is if it's not required and they also have the option of doing their own. Which I have done for every wedding I've ever been in. I don't get the obsession with pro make-up and hair (and nails?!) for the wedding party. Hell, I did my own nails and make-up for my own wedding.

Also, just to be clear, you are not dictating a hairstyle/make-up colors/nail colors here? Because please don't do that either.

I don't get this either. I walked in my brother's wedding a few years ago.
A week before the wedding, I had my shoulder length hair cut in layers so that I could style my hair. Two days before the wedding, after we ate at the rehearsal dinner, my SIL told me that she wanted me to be at her maid of honor's house the morning of the wedding to get ready together. Sure, no problem.

I get there, and she tells me that she brought a hair & makeup stylist to do all of the bridesmaids-- and that we had to pay the lady $150 each. My SIL wanted to have our hair put up in identical fancy buns (I HATE putting my hair in a bun), and our makeup all done exactly the same, like some freaky Robert Palmer music video. Our dresses were royal blue and she wanted us to wear royal blue eyeshadow & red lipstick.  WTH.

I asked her why she didn't mention this to me before? I specifically cut my hair so that I could style it accordingly. I caved in and allowed the hairstyle. But, since my hair was cut in layers, it was difficult to do the bun without a ton of pins. Part of my hair ended up falling out of it. I REFUSED to do the makeup. I have very sensitive skin, and cannot use just any makeup brand that the stylist had (which was a brand I had never heard of). I refused to put BLUE eyeshadow & red lipstick on my face, as they are not colors that I feel comfortable wearing on my pale skin. I always do my own hair and makeup for events that we had been to. It's not like she had a reason to feel that I was going to show up looking messy & unkempt. It was about control for her.

On top of paying almost $300 for her chosen bm dress (including alterations), I didn't have the $ to pay for her stylist too. She just yelled at me saying that she was the bride & I had to do what she wanted.

She flipped when she found out that I am letting my girls choose whatever dress they want (as long as it is a black dress), and do whatever they want for their hair and makeup, as long as they are comfortable. 

[Deleted User]

Knottie1439587781 said:

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

Knottie1439587781 said:

artbyallie said:

Knottie1439587781 said:

Thank you everyone! I have decided to just stick with a same color and fabric and the bridesmaid can choose the style all through weddingtonway.com
and then the girls can wear a shawl for the ceremony portion, covering the larger tattoos. I am RELIEVED. Thank you everyone for your help!

Sounds good. You will need to purchase the shawls.

Even if I am paying for the bridesmaids'  hair, makeup, and nails I purchase the shawls?

I don't think you need to pay for the shawls if you let the girls know that this is a church rule & not your rule. Obviously you don't care about the tattoos else you wouldn't ask them to be in your wedding party. Just let your BM know before they go dress shopping that the ceremony is in a conservative church and they don't allow for tattoos to be shown so if they pick a dress that reveals their tattoos, to get a shawl or jacket to cover up for the ceremony & they can ditch it for the rest of the day. Depending on what styles of dresses they pick (there are BM dresses out there even with sleeves) their tattoos may not be an issue. If you want all the girls to have a shawl so they all match, you should probably consider footing the bill for that because it's not fair to the girls that don't have any tattoos to have to spend the money on a shawl.

Knottie1454041162

As with many of the other questions people have posted, I am in the same boat.  My idea was to let the Bridesmaids chose, but your Mom makes a good point.  So now I am back to square one.  I look forward to everyone’s recommendations.

kimmiinthemitten

Knottie1454041162 said:

As with many of the other questions people have posted, I am in the same boat.  My idea was to let the Bridesmaids chose, but your Mom makes a good point.  So now I am back to square one.  I look forward to everyone’s recommendations.

I'm confused. The OP read all of this and decided to stay on the color/ fabric train so why are you back at square one. Your WP shouldn't be photo props. The best way to honor them and your relationship is to allow them to choose their clothing based on what's comfortable to them. 

Viczaesar

Knottie1454041162 said:

As with many of the other questions people have posted, I am in the same boat.  My idea was to let the Bridesmaids chose, but your Mom makes a good point.  So now I am back to square one.  I look forward to everyone’s recommendations.

No, she doesn't.  Go with your first idea.

lnixon8

I want to make a sticky of this anytime someone "worries" about mismatched dresses looking bad. I don't even think my photographer did a good job but damn do my best friends look great even in different material, length, brands, prices...
ETA Words

TeamAwesomeJ&J

lnixon8 said:

I want to make a sticky of this anytime someone "worries" about mismatched dresses looking bad. I don't even think my photographer did a good job but damn do my best friends look great even in different material, length, brands, prices...
ETA Words

@Inixon8, I must say that your bridal party looks beautiful!! I love the variation in color/length/style of your girls dresses.  They all look happy to be in a dress that they chose, and they still compliment each other as part of your BP.  Congrats!!