Ok I will try to keep this brief, I have a large extended family that I know fairly well on my dad's side. I was originally planning on inviting up to second cousins that I know well and their immediate families.
At Christmas when my aunt asked my mom seemed fine with this plan but a week later when it was brought up again she said I shouldn't invite them because I hardly know them and I should save more room for friends. She also now says if I invite my dad's cousins I have to invite hers despite never meeting them.
I don't have many people I consider friends, but I think I know the people she wants me to invite 2 I haven't seen or spoken to in about 4 years and the other 2 I have only talked to because their families are a part of our old 4H club that I teach riding lessons for (sometimes they bring their nieces and we get a chance to chat at lunch time) all of them are great women but it always felt like we only hung out for horse things and they weren't interested in spending other time together (of course it could be that all of us were just too shy to ask)
My friend (and distant cousin) got married last summer, originally everyone had hurt feelings because she wanted a small destination wedding with immediate family only, her parents were paying for it and wanted to change the plan and her grandfather (who was also the officiant) refused to go, so it turned into a bigger, family wedding, and most of us were invited yet my mom was upset that my grandparents weren't invited. So apparently it's fine for me to not invite that side of the family but it was awful that my friend didn't.
Basically I don't know who to invite now. My fiance and I are paying for our wedding so in the end it is our decision, I don't want to have to deal with a bunch of drama or hurt feelings over this and it is so frustrating.
What do all of you think extended family? The estranged "friends"? Or niether and redirect the cash flow to other parts of the wedding?