Wedding related vacation etiquette...

lovesclimbing

I'm at work trying to laugh quietly at all the responses. You ladies are why I come to this forum!

And I agree with everyone else: guy is a jerk and don't change your dates.

And you must update as stuff goes down!

glasgowtolondon

short+sassy

I was on Team OP anyway, but did have a smidge of sympathy for clueless coworker...thinking the day he needed off was the actual wedding day.

But now hearing that the day at issue is two days before his local wedding?  And this is a crisis for him why?

I got married halfway across the country from where I live, on a Saturday.  On Thursday...two days before...I worked a half day.  Went home.  Finished last minute packing.  And my (now) H and I headed to the airport that afternoon.  If I had gotten married in town, I would have maybe taken a half day on Friday.  Maybe.

AddieCake

Late to this, but fuck that guy.

KnickerGold

Ya I'd have felt bad if it was his actual wedding day, but not sure if I'd have changed my plans... But it's not, so not feeling bad! 

holyguacamole79

Aw, man ... I was hoping you had a real update for us!!

KnickerGold

So sorry! No updates! I am heading to NY for wedding planning, but will be working out of the office where my boss is for a day, so maybe she'll bring it up in person? Hoping not!

PrettyGirlLost

Any updates?

JCocco219

I am anxious to see your updates! Stay strong on this one, there is no way you should cancel your plans!! 

KnickerGold

Nope!
I mean coworker is awful as ever (and he was putting together their website the other day... it's ummm... horrible.) but no updates/requests on the time-off front. 
I fully plan on going to my friend's wedding and taking those days off- not my problem!

MandyMost

I would talk to your boss and simply confirm that your vacation days are in the system, and that you've already booked travel plans, and you won't be changing them, since everything was previously approved. Make sure your boss knows that you will be out those days, as previously decided.

If anyone needs to "work it out" it's your coworker and your boss, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. 

Then, I'd remind myself this as often as possible:

KnickerGold

Update- my boss resigned (to move closer to family, I miss her!) and her counterpart in Europe (who was my boss locally in a different role before she moved, so we're 'close') has taken over her role for the time being. She was in town recently and told me that she would be covering his hours those two days.

I apologized, as I don't think that's fair for her to have to be working in the middle of the night, but she said 'This is SO not your problem. Go have fun and celebrate!! You 100% did the right thing, and if it was anything other than his wedding, we wouldn't have approved it. But don't worry, I won't forget about this. It will follow him'  YAY!!!!!! 

MobKaz

KnickerGold said:

Update- my boss resigned (to move closer to family, I miss her!) and her counterpart in Europe (who was my boss locally in a different role before she moved, so we're 'close') has taken over her role for the time being. She was in town recently and told me that she would be covering his hours those two days.

I apologized, as I don't think that's fair for her to have to be working in the middle of the night, but she said 'This is SO not your problem. Go have fun and celebrate!! You 100% did the right thing, and if it was anything other than his wedding, we wouldn't have approved it. But don't worry, I won't forget about this. It will follow him'  YAY!!!!!! 

Thanks for the update!

crowsgirl15

KnickerGold said:

Update- my boss resigned (to move closer to family, I miss her!) and her counterpart in Europe (who was my boss locally in a different role before she moved, so we're 'close') has taken over her role for the time being. She was in town recently and told me that she would be covering his hours those two days.

I apologized, as I don't think that's fair for her to have to be working in the middle of the night, but she said 'This is SO not your problem. Go have fun and celebrate!! You 100% did the right thing, and if it was anything other than his wedding, we wouldn't have approved it. But don't worry, I won't forget about this. It will follow him'  YAY!!!!!! 

Now THAT is a good boss to have. Glad it all worked out

KnickerGold

crowsgirl15 said:

KnickerGold said:

Update- my boss resigned (to move closer to family, I miss her!) and her counterpart in Europe (who was my boss locally in a different role before she moved, so we're 'close') has taken over her role for the time being. She was in town recently and told me that she would be covering his hours those two days.

I apologized, as I don't think that's fair for her to have to be working in the middle of the night, but she said 'This is SO not your problem. Go have fun and celebrate!! You 100% did the right thing, and if it was anything other than his wedding, we wouldn't have approved it. But don't worry, I won't forget about this. It will follow him'  YAY!!!!!! 

Now THAT is a good boss to have. Glad it all worked out

She runs a tight ship, but she's the bomb!

kmmssg

KnickerGold said:

Update- my boss resigned (to move closer to family, I miss her!) and her counterpart in Europe (who was my boss locally in a different role before she moved, so we're 'close') has taken over her role for the time being. She was in town recently and told me that she would be covering his hours those two days.

I apologized, as I don't think that's fair for her to have to be working in the middle of the night, but she said 'This is SO not your problem. Go have fun and celebrate!! You 100% did the right thing, and if it was anything other than his wedding, we wouldn't have approved it. But don't worry, I won't forget about this. It will follow him'  YAY!!!!!! 

I think that is called karma.

banana468

Yay!!

So have you started your wedding diet yet? ;-) 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

Yay!!

So have you started your wedding diet yet? ;-) 

I'd be tempted to start side-eyeing his meals.  Like, "Ooohhh, Coworker.  Are you sure you want to be eating that Big Mac and fries?  Your wedding is coming up in only X days, you know."  Okay, I'd never actually say that.  But I'd want to.

SP29

Glad it worked out for you! Sounds like a great boss.

KnickerGold

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

Yay!!

So have you started your wedding diet yet? ;-) 

I'd be tempted to start side-eyeing his meals.  Like, "Ooohhh, Coworker.  Are you sure you want to be eating that Big Mac and fries?  Your wedding is coming up in only X days, you know."  Okay, I'd never actually say that.  But I'd want to.

So tempting, but I've found it's best to just not speak to him unless 100000% necessary. Haha. He does eat a 100-calorie greek yogurt for breakfast every morning, and I've always wanted to say something because it's obviously 'chick food' (even I eat the 'full fat' greek yogurt haha, and it's only 110 calories...) and he eats it with a grimace every.single.day. but I don't because, well, I don't want to talk to him...