Not Yet Engaged, But Wanting to Plan

KelliBellyP

Hello! 

My boyfriend and I have known for a few years that we will be getting married sometime after I graduate this May. He has not officially proposed yet, but I know it is coming. We both would prefer around a 6 to 9-month engagement, but my mom insists that 3 months is the proper time (there is no way to argue with her). Is there anywhere that can sell me a beautiful dress in a short time frame, or should I do some planning behind my mother's back before he pops the question? 

geebee908

Is mom paying for the wedding? How is it that she gets to pick your wedding date?

bethsmiles

You are an adult right? Yes, okay then it is ridiculous to let your mom dictate how long you are engaged for. So no, you don't do some planning behind your mother's back before being engaged. You get engaged, you set the date for when you and your FI, and you tell her mom this isn't her decision and she'll just have to deal with it.

minskat30

KelliBellyP said:

Hello! 

My boyfriend and I have known for a few years that we will be getting married sometime after I graduate this May. He has not officially proposed yet, but I know it is coming. We both would prefer around a 6 to 9-month engagement, but my mom insists that 3 months is the proper time (there is no way to argue with her). Is there anywhere that can sell me a beautiful dress in a short time frame, or should I do some planning behind my mother's back before he pops the question? 

Don't plan a wedding, behind someone's back or otherwise, before you consider yourself engaged.  Also don't let your mom dictate the length of your engagement...or anything else about your relationship for that matter.     

Swazzle

bethsmiles said:

You are an adult right? Yes, okay then it is ridiculous to let your mom dictate how long you are engaged for. So no, you don't do some planning behind your mother's back before being engaged. You get engaged, you set the date for when you and your FI, and you tell her mom this isn't her decision and she'll just have to deal with it.

buddysmom80

Are you graduating high school????

beanbot2002

KelliBellyP said:

Hello! 

My boyfriend and I have known for a few years that we will be getting married sometime after I graduate this May. He has not officially proposed yet, but I know it is coming. We both would prefer around a 6 to 9-month engagement, but my mom insists that 3 months is the proper time (there is no way to argue with her). Is there anywhere that can sell me a beautiful dress in a short time frame, or should I do some planning behind my mother's back before he pops the question? 

jenjen047

As PP have said there is no need to do any planning behind anyone's back. Wait until you and your BF consider yourselves engaged (there doesn't need to be a ring or an elaborate proposal for this, just an agreement between the 2 of you that you want to get married and start planning a wedding) and then decide on an approximate date range that works for you, your FI, and anyone who is contributing financially. Then start looking at venues and go from there.

FWIW, you can plan a beautiful wedding in a short amount of time so there is no need to do any pre-planning.

GoldenPenguin

labro

Aside from the fact that yeah, it's totally possible to plan a wedding in 3 months (just be willing to compromise on location and other available services being booked), your mom doesn't get to dictate your engagement period. "She who pays gets a say" definitely does not extend to how long you get to be engaged for.

Back to any sort of pre-planning, just don't. You ARE an adult right? Assuming you hopefully mean college graduation, not high school. An engagement doesn't need to include a ring, doesn't need to include an elaborate proposal. What it does need to be is a mutual and public agreement that you both want to get married and that you agree you want to plan your wedding.

speakeasy14

You can get plenty of dresses off the rack and ordered in a short amount of time.  

Also, things change.  Yes, you've discussed getting engaged after you graduate, but what happens if you can't find work after you graduate?  Wait until you both agree you're engaged before you plan anything.  

You should never plan anything behind someone's back.  Unless you're planning a surprise party.  Are you planning a surprise party?

[Deleted User]

AlPacina

southernpeach89 said:

I have never seen this gif before............ It is so freaking perfect!

cu97tiger

buddysmom80 said:

Are you graduating high school????

Hahahaha. This.

labro

TwoDimes said:

buddysmom80 said:

Are you graduating high school????

Sounds like the best wedding ever. 

emmy72

What in the WORLD? Three months? I'm not saying it can't be done but you're going to have a horrific time booking all the vendors you'll need.