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Guest list crisis

DJ4-14DJ4-14
10 Comments
in New York-Long Island
Okay, so I just thought i would share my current crisis with you ladies. I am laughing about this cause if I don't I just may scream, hahaha. The reception hall holds 260 guests. My fiance' and I are inviting 72 of our friends, which leaves 188 invites for our parents to split...so you would think. My parents are paying for half of the wedding and are inviting 90 people. His parents gave me a "cut down" list of 124 guests. That brings us to 286 guests. Correct me if I'm wrong but we are 26 guests over, ha ha ha. My fiance' strongly feels that we will have less than 260 that respond "yes". So, he wants to send the save the dates to all 286 guests. I am completely stalling the mailing process because I am very nervous that we end up with too many people. Hope you all get a good laugh at this...cause I am.
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Re: Guest list crisis

  • LynnScott1LynnScott1
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    no...it's o.k. i was always told to invite more b/c exactly - not all will show and respond yes at the end. my wedding is 1/2 your size:-) 125 and i'm inviting some more b/c not all will probably respond yes and that will make up for it. i'm in fla and getting married at giorgio's and i sent my 1/2 of STD b/c they are mostly fla people. i didn't send fiance's mothers yet b/c they are all LI people so i will be sending them soon. I had the same problem - send all STD or not?? the girls on here helped me and some said send them to all and some said no - 1 - b/c they had a huge guest list and 2 - def. send them only to OOTers. I'm not sending a STD to my dad's old aunts b/c they are going to be like "what the h**is this!!" hahaha... good luck!
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  • alithebridealithebride member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    LOL this is a crisis? anyway-when sending invites you don't know how many people will accept or decline. you must assume that all invited will attend. cut 26 guests. and i'm not sure what how much your parents are paying has anythign to do with it really-except if you feel that it's out of balance. we had the same issue. my IL's original 'cut down' list was over 150. i almost had a heart attack! dh went back to his parents and said 'you can invite (insert # here) many people. the list you gave us is too large. please cut (insert other # here) people." they did, it worked out fine.

     

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  • saisongbirdsaisongbird
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You have to assume 100% attendance and THEN some (ie, people inviting themselves). Cut the list.
    imageAnniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.
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  • mccloskmmccloskm member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    DJ4 i know the feeling. we keep saying we want about 200, maybe 220, meanwhile "the list" is reaching 270. almost wish i did a destination wedding! but i am hoping that what happens to most people is that not everyone says yes... i am considering not doing save the dates because the majority of our guests are local.
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  • jilliibabiijilliibabii
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You really should consider everyone as a yes, even if you KNOW some aren't going to. I'd cut the list.
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  • portstarfgportstarfg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    no no, YOU'RE right! You can't assume 26 won't show. What if even 262 show up and they refuse to break their fire codes or soemthing.I say (because I did something like this) to send save-the-dates to DEFINITE DEFINITES, and anyone either on the cusp OR even ppl you know you have to invite but you don't care at all if they show up or not - don't send them save the dates. It buys you time to narrow your lists, and then those "have to but don't want to people" have less notice when they finally get the invitation and maybe won't come.Hope that helps at all!
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  • DJ4-14DJ4-14
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    portstarfg Thank you ladies for all your advice. You are right, Portstarfg. That's exactly what my fiance' and I decided to do this morning. Thank you so much. :-)
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  • slbriz34slbriz34
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto.  I created an A list and a B list; everyone on the A list got save-the-dates.  While most everyone is exciting, I can certainly see a few folks potentially not going - but I can see everyone going.  Since we want to keep the numbers on the smaller side, we decided that only if we got an idea that some folks wouldn't go that we'd go to the B list. The B list included co-workers and friends I like, but aren't super close with that I'd absolutely miss them if they weren't at the wedding.  While naturally, the A list is family and friends I've known for so long, and new friends I've created a special bond with that I'd love to share my day. But you most certainly must assume everyone you invite will come and therefore, you should only sent stds to those you most definitely want to invite and hold off on the others until you get closer to sending out invitations.  You and FI should also talk to his parents about who on the 124 list really needs to be there and those that you can cut out or hold off on. While they are helping to pay, it is still your wedding and your opinions, especially since this is a venue snafu, should be considered.  GL.
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