I am a first time Maid of Honor in my best friends' wedding. I am getting started on planning the bridal shower and bachelorette. There are no other bridesmaids in the wedding- it's just myself as MOH and the mother of the bride. When I spoke to my friend about her "wish list" for these two celebrations she was pretty laid back about it - she had a few ideas but it seemed like she was open to my suggestions, and I had plenty to give (I am someone who LOVES planning and organizing!). She then informed me that her mom wanted to be involved with the planning of the shower and bachelorette, and also would be attending not just the shower, but the bachelorette as well. Of course, I had to say it was 100% fine - but I had some initial doubts.
Her mom and I had an initial conversation about the planning of the two events and I could immediately tell that we had very different ideas about where these events might take place, and probably what they would look like. I envisioned something really pretty and modern for the shower (maybe a pretty picnic with yummy food, champagne and cute DIY decorations) while her mom suggested we throw a surprise shower in a rented out room in the apartment complex where she lives, and order trays of pre-made food like baked ziti - which immediately did not sound very pretty or special to me. For the bachelorette I envisioned a relaxing weekend upstate by a lake (it's a summer wedding), and then her mom suggested Atlantic City- which to me screams more tacky than classy. Of course we have to keep budget in mind - which seemed to be her mom's biggest sticking point - but I can't seem to get down with the ideas she's put forth so far. That said, I kept a poker face when we had our initial conversation and didn't want to step on toes, so to be nice I just told her that her ideas sounded fine to me! ACK! I am so not sure what to do!
Any advice on how to approach her mom and explain that I wanted to do something more imaginative / different? Should I try to press the bride for a better idea of which type of shower she would prefer? Or should I let the mom guide the way on the bridal shower and then give my two cents more for the bachelorette? Don't want to put my opinions first - more the opinion of the bride - but also don't want to settle for the ideas her mom suggested either.