Wedding Reception Forum

Etiquette Faux Pas? Or courtesy?

Here's the deal:  We set our wedding date in October 2014.  It was not until about December when we were looking up venues and I was browsing TK forums that I decided to check if my date was an Easter date (since it is a holiday with a date that moves around).  When I found out, I immediately reached out to the key people (parents, closest friends, etc.) to let them know that we found out our date was the Saturday of Easter weekend and to let us know if it would be a problem.  We had not put any money down on anything yet so at that point it would be easy to change.  They all said it would be no issue.  We went forward with the original date and made it a point to mention to anyone thereafter that it would be the weekend of a holiday so they could make an informed decision.

Fast forward 14 months.  January 2016.  2 months before our wedding.  We are now hearing from people that they do not remember this conversation or that they did not know it was Easter weekend and that they may not attend.  We have a guest list of less than 50 people and will be sending invitations out by the end of the month.

My question is this:  Should I give a courtesy call to the people on the list to mention again that it is Easter weekend so that they can make an informed decision?  How should this be handled?  We sent out STDs in September and people are even still questioning the date of the wedding.  It makes me wonder if I did something wrong in terms of communication.  Now I'm left to figure things out.  What would you do?

Re: Etiquette Faux Pas? Or courtesy?

  • I may be wrong here, because I'm not Christian, but I think you've done enough already. You called your VIPs before you finalized the date to make sure they were okay with it, and you sent out STD's in September. Typically, my understanding of Easter is that you celebrate it on Sunday and potentially Monday, not Saturday. So I would think that you're fine and don't need to call.

    It may be a "know your crowd" type of thing though. If you have a lot of highly devout Christians on your guest list you may want to give another heads up as a courtesy, but not as a requirement.
    ElcaB
  • Honestly, you did your part. With your wedding on Saturday, I don't see what the big deal is anyway. These people are adults and should be able to check their calendars. 
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    [Deleted User]wink0erin
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited January 2016

    Here's the deal:  We set our wedding date in October 2014.  It was not until about December when we were looking up venues and I was browsing TK forums that I decided to check if my date was an Easter date (since it is a holiday with a date that moves around).  When I found out, I immediately reached out to the key people (parents, closest friends, etc.) to let them know that we found out our date was the Saturday of Easter weekend and to let us know if it would be a problem.  We had not put any money down on anything yet so at that point it would be easy to change.  They all said it would be no issue.  We went forward with the original date and made it a point to mention to anyone thereafter that it would be the weekend of a holiday so they could make an informed decision.

    Fast forward 14 months.  January 2016.  2 months before our wedding.  We are now hearing from people that they do not remember this conversation or that they did not know it was Easter weekend and that they may not attend.  We have a guest list of less than 50 people and will be sending invitations out by the end of the month.

    My question is this:  Should I give a courtesy call to the people on the list to mention again that it is Easter weekend so that they can make an informed decision?  How should this be handled?  We sent out STDs in September and people are even still questioning the date of the wedding.  It makes me wonder if I did something wrong in terms of communication.  Now I'm left to figure things out.  What would you do?

    Like PP's said you did your part, and some people just may choose to not attend.  Don't stress it!

    ETF words
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  • Agree with pps. Don't stress. My sister scheduled her wedding this way too. Saturday before Easter. At first I thought she was crazy for it, but it made no difference. Lots of people came and Easter was still celebrated the next day.
    [Deleted User]
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    ditto PPs.  You reached out and verified with your VIPs.  If they couldn't keep the dates straight that's their problem.  


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  • The problem I foresee is that Holy Saturday is supposed to be a day of mourning, since Christ is still in the tomb that day.  Celebrating a wedding on that day would go against the spirit of the day.  BUT I agree you've done all you can since you already made them aware of this (and they have calendars).  For the record, I'd probably not attend the wedding of a casual friend.  But I think I'd make an exception for a close friend or family member.

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  • @monkeysip:  Because we are having a small wedding, only close friends and family are invited (family and like family, as we say).  We have sent out our invitations and I will post an update on what happens in a few weeks when the RSVPs are due back. 
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