Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaid Quit


Re: Bridesmaid Quit

  • I cannot for the life of me figure out what must have happened over the course of planning a bachelorette party that was so disastrous you
    a) flew cross-country to sort it out and
    b) are worried to have them in the same building as one another at your reception.

    I'm assuming some mafia-type shit went down here. Please don't drag another soldato into this mess by replacing the bridesmaid who got out.
    Bolded: right???? Is this a movie????
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  • I have so many questions!

    1.  Why are they speaking weekly for the next 10 months?
    2.  Why can't the members of the BP who are friends just plan this seemingly amazing Bach party and the other attend if she chooses?
    3.  Was their violence in either the first or second incident?
    4.  Are you afraid it may become violent at your wedding? (We take violence very seriously here)
    5.  Have you considered that it may appear to your fired friend that you are taking the side of the entire rest of the BP vs hers?
    6.  Why do you want to replace her so badly?  I mean you typed this exact sentence, and if you can't see why it's hurtful in your own words, I don't know what to tell you:

    I guess I'm just trying to get some understanding as to why anyone who through their own wishes or actions would feel hurt about someone else being as to fulfill a requirement they couldn't, or why being asked as a "replacement" would make standing up for your friends or family any less special.

    7.  What happens if this replacement maid doesn't bestie the rest of the crew?  Is hanging out with them and their family on weekends a requirement?
    8.  Please define your use of the word "service" and "requirement" in context as a bridesmaid.
    9.  Isn't it safe to say since the discarded maid lives out of town from the rest of the party, she probably would never have become a part of that core group?
    10.  Out of curiosity, how many people do you have standing up with you?

    It's great that being a replacement for you has resulted in a closer relationship, although I would hope that happened naturally and would have happened without a wedding in the  mix; however you're embarking in what could be a friendship ending situation and I hope your first concern is your relationship and not your wedding photos.
  • You def don't need any sort of equal # at all if that's what you're worried about... my sister had 6 bms and her husband had 13 gms and ya know what? it looked awesome! Personally if I was asked to be a BM in someone else's wedding only for the sole reason that someone else stepped down, I'd be hella angry. No one wants to be an afterthought.
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  • Hey, I was asked to be a backup bridesmaid and I wasn't offended at all. I was complimented and loved getting to be a part of the wedding. I think most adults with a brain that wrap their head around it.

    It's not my business how or why brides and grooms choose to create their wedding party-- for my wedding, my groom chose five people and symmetry was important to him, so I also chose five. Could I have chosen six people? Yeah. Could I have narrowed it down to three? Yes. It's about including and honoring people you love, within the small number that fits your venue, budget, etc.

    So if you want to honor someone else that you previously couldn't, I say go for it, if you think the person you want to ask will understand.

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