NEY, but soon!

HouseOfGreen

My boyfriend has been asking certain questions. "IF we got married, what type of wedding. " things like that. But, recently he asked my ring size! In my head.....okay and my secret Pinterest board, I have been planning my wedding. I know I am getting WAY ahead of myself, but it is exciting. 

Anyone else in my shoes?

Swazzle

HouseOfGreen said:

My boyfriend has been asking certain questions. "IF we got married, what type of wedding. " things like that. But, recently he asked my ring size! In my head.....okay and my secret Pinterest board, I have been planning my wedding. I know I am getting WAY ahead of myself, but it is exciting. 

Anyone else in my shoes?

That's very exciting but why are you planning your wedding if you're not engaged yet? When you DO get engaged, don't you want your BF's input at all? You're not marrying yourself so his opinion should matter and it should be something you do together which means all this planning you're doing right now is a total waste of time. Not to mention that your tastes can change between now and when you're engaged. So, you are right. You're getting way ahead of yourself. Enjoy your relationship as it is right now and stop pre-planning and living in the future. It'll get here, I promise. 

As far as the ring goes, I personally always recommend looking at them together so that both you and he knows what you like and dislike. I thought I wanted a princess cut solitaire and when I tried that ring on, I hated it on my hand. I narrowed it down to a couple styles that I loved and let my H make the final decision. I have a cushion cut diamond with a halo and a pave band -- VERY different from what I thought I liked before trying rings on.

cu97tiger

@houseofgreen - I second what @swazzle said about going with your BF to look at rings. I am the cautionary tale of what happens when you don't. My now-DH has great taste in his own style, but the ring he designed for me was not my style at all. After three years of wearing it, I finally was able to pick out a ring that I love and wear every day. DH was hurt, I was hurt, and it all could have been avoided if I had asked for more input on the ring beforehand.

labro

That is exciting! I second everything @Swazzle said! I know how hard it is to take a step back when you think engagement is imminent but seriously now is not the time to be planning your wedding! I PROMISE you will have plenty of time to plan WHEN you're engaged. All the things you think you want your wedding to be now can just as easily change when your facing reality. Take a step back and enjoy your life now. Your BF may be asking your ring size, but that doesn't mean he's actively shopping, or even that a formal proposal is happening rightthissecond. You'll drive yourself crazy this way and it won't be positive for you or your relationship.

Don't let this think I'm not happy and excited for you because I am! But you need to chill, walk away from Pinterest, and focus on your life and the relationship you have. Focus on working out, starting a new hobby, learning to cook Thai food, something!

speakeasy14

I second everything @swazzle said

There's nothing wrong with pinning things you like, but don't go crazy planning anything.  

While this is all exciting, enjoy your relationship as it is now.  Find a hobby or something to distract yourself so you do not become engagement/wedding obsessed.  Stick around, we are a good daily distraction. 

AlPacina

@HouseOfGreen - Omigosh, getting those types of questions for the first time is SO EXCITING, and it's definitely easy to get a little ahead of yourself. I was in your position a year and a half ago, and I'm still not engaged. So at first it was all fun and exciting, but then it turned into disappointment every time I thought he's OBVIOUSLY going to propose when we're at _______ place (Grand Canyon, top of a mountain, anniversary dinner, etc.) and then he didn't.

Definitely be excited that you two will eventually be planning a wedding together, but that's exactly where it should stop for now, since I'm sure it's something you'll want to do together once you're engaged. Timelines shift, and you'll miss a lot of fun relationship moments if you're so caught up in waiting for your proposal/wedding.

The best thing for my sanity was no longer looking up wedding things on the internet. I come here to talk to my friends when I need some support or I'm feeling emotional, but backing away from your secret pinterest board until you're actually planning is going to be so much better. I promise. Stick around and chat with us!

helloliv

It's super exciting getting those kind of questions! As others have said, it's definitely easy to get ahead of yourself. As for myself, I've actually been in the position of having those big talks and those questions asked (and rings looked at) in two different long-term relationships, and I didn't end up engaged to either of them. That is NOT to say that is what will happen for you, but like @AlPacina said, it led to some disappointment in one of those relationships each time a "perfect" proposal time would come and go. I took the advice of the ladies here and slowed my roll and was a LOT happier. 

This is a great group of ladies, and we've all been BSC at one point or another, I think. Just stop planning your wedding (you'll want to do that together -- it's his wedding, too!) and hang out with us here as you continue to enjoy your relationship as it is now!

eilis1228

I co-sign everything PPs have said. It's very exciting to think about your relationship moving forward, but don't get ahead of yourself. My H asked for my ring size almost a year into the relationship because he wanted to buy me a pretty ring for Christmas that was most definitely not an engagement ring. Take a deep breath and a step back from the wedding planning and just enjoy your relationship for what it is right now. You have PLENTY of time for wedding planning if/when you two get engaged.