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We kept the wedding small, which helped a lot.
Pre-wedding: We emailed save the dates and printed our own invitations. We had an informal rehearsal dinner of Costco pizza at the house - this worked out great for out of towners who had kids that would have melted down in a restaurant.
Ceremony: We had virtually no ceremony site costs, because a friend officiated, and we were married outdoors. For the most part we did not use decorations there, relying on the natural beauty of the surroundings. A friend played ceremony music via iphone and a bluetooth speaker.
Reception: We avoided the cost of flowers and used silk leaves in vases from the dollar store for centerpieces at the hall. We got Costco sheet cake to serve, and had one small cake from a grocery store on display to cut.
Wedding look: I got my dress off the rack at a store that was closing and had slashed prices. I found shoes that were deeply discounted due to a stain, and hand painted a design on them that covered the stain. I made an appointment for makeup at the Sephora store in our local mall.