Welcome party

ourdailywed

Hi all- my fiancé and I are not having destination wedding per se (it's in the Florida town where I was born and raised and my parents still live).  However, we both live in NYC now, the majority of our friends are all over the place, as are our extended families (including Ireland, New Zealand, etc)  Since 75% of the guests are flying in for our wedding, we'd like to do some kind of welcome on the Friday before as a nice gesture and sort of just a kick off to the weekend.  We are planning to have our rehearsal on Thursday evening (family only plus bridal party). Our concern with having a welcome party/gathering is that we don't want it to get out-of-control expensive and turn into a second wedding reception.  I was thinking we could keep it casual and just say "meet us at the hotel bar on Fri for a drink/stop by if you can/would love to see you".  Would pay for maybe 2 rounds of drinks and then if anyone wants a 3rd, it's up to them.  OR first drink and serve light hors d'oeuvres (I see it being a pre-dinner event...maybe 5:00pm).  I've been to "welcome get-togethers" like this for other weddings and thought it was a nice way to see guests prior to the wedding.  Thoughts?

MandyMost

I've been to welcome receptions that were fully hosted by the bride and groom--these were always cocktail receptions. Passed or stationed hors d'oeurves, open bar, and people essentially standing around talking. No dining tables. They generally lasted 2 hours or less. People ate dinner before or after, depending on the time of the event. Since there was no seated meal, no dancing, brighter lights, etc., it didn't feel like a wedding reception at all.

I've also been invited to meet the bride and groom somewhere the night before the wedding. This isn't a "welcome reception" because you're not hosting anything. The time/place was usually spread by word-of-mouth, or in an insert in a "welcome bag" in the hotel rooms. In a "feel free to stop by!" way. These events were either in a side room at a bar, or just in a bar itself maybe with a few tables reserved. You can of course buy a round (or 2) or drinks for people, but I wouldn't "advertise" this. If you just buy a round, you come off as a nice friend. If you have open bar for a certain time, or drink tickets, etc., you come off as cheap and tacky and like you can't afford the event. When people get there you can always say "first round's on us! Just tell the bartender" as you greet them.

STARMOON44

Inviting me to come and spend even more of my own money and time on celebrating you isn't particularly tempting to me. 

pick a location and a time frame when you can afford to host- 4-6 at a casual bar maybe. 

[Deleted User]

If you're not planning on hosting the entire event, you can't bill it as a Welcome Party.  I like the idea of having people just stop by if they're in town/in the hotel/whatever.  One option is to just have everyone buy their own drinks, and you pick up some apps.  So, like, 8 of you are sitting around a table/the bar for a while and you ask the waiter for one of each of five or six apps for the table and anyone else who shows up to share.  Or a late night pizza or six if this evening goes way late.  You can always pick up a round if you want.  But it's not a hosted event unless you host everything.

msuprincess04

I agree with above, if you are having a party, you should host. Otherwise, word of mouth that you'll be at X place at X time if you are not hosting.

I had a Welcome Party that was noted as lasting two hours on the invitation. The bar charged us $10/head and that covered appetizers and 2 drinks per person. We didn't keep track of drinks per person, but the bar ran a total number of drinks served and charged us a discounted price for drinks over our head count total. It ended up being pretty cheap and the party was a lot of fun.

sunset30

Agree with others that you have to host the whole thing. We did a destination wedding so everyone was from out of town but invited all our guests over to the beach house we rented for a barbeque. We bought a bunch of veggie and fruit and cheese platters, chips, beer, soda from Costco and grilled out burgers and chicken breasts. It wasn't expensive at all (though you'd clearly need a house big enough to have such an event depending on the size of your guest list) . You could also do a pizza party that would be similarly low key and inexpensive. 

ourdailywed

Thanks for your opinions!  MandyMost- what you mentioned is exactly what I had envisioned.  Informal invite (word of mouth, via note in welcome bag, etc) and let everyone know first drink on us (or whatever we decide) when people arrive.  And I agree- I hated to refer to it as a 'welcome party' because I see it as more of just a casual meet-up/kickoff to the weekend for those who are in town that Fri night. Would never send a formal invite to an event and not host it/expect people to foot their own bills.  Thanks again for the advice.