Any Medical Students?

knottie2525060991

My fiancé and I got engaged last year before I was accepted into medical school. We picked a date and a venue based on an important date to him. We pick 9/9/17 and I will be in my second year. We realize we cant take our honeymoon right away. I was wondering if anyone got married when classes were actually in session. How did that work for you and how receptive were the schools?

justsie

I didn't get married during classes but a friend of mine in the same program as me in graduate school did. She got married on a Saturday and was back in class on Monday. It wasn't medical school, but programs in general are not receptive to students missing class days, so I wouldn't plan on doing so for your wedding. 

nerdwife

theresaweiss said:

My fiancé and I got engaged last year before I was accepted into medical school. We picked a date and a venue based on an important date to him. We pick 9/9/17 and I will be in my second year. We realize we cant take our honeymoon right away. I was wondering if anyone got married when classes were actually in session. How did that work for you and how receptive were the schools?

My FI is an intern so while we aren't getting married while he's in medical school, we were dating. I don't think this a great idea. Does this mean you are in medical school now or are starting in the fall? Medical school is extremely demanding. Everyone I know who got married during graduate school chose a break - either summer or winter. 

I can't imagine why a certain date would be more important than your studies. Any time someone comes on here saying they have a special date in mind, everyone reminds them that they need to be flexible and that the date you get married will be special because it will be your anniversary. 

I also seriously doubt the school would be okay with this. It's one thing if it's someone else's wedding that you have to attend, but you picked your own date, so why would they work around your schedule when you should've worked around theirs?

tigerlily6

I just started law school this year, and we are set to get married this summer over break, as @nerdwife recommends. Time is limited even then, since "summer" is not really a time-off period for graduate students -- for example, law students are expected to have internships they work on for experiential practice during the summers. I would not be surprised if med students did the same thing. 

That being said, I do know a classmate who got married in September this past fall. Her wedding was over the weekend, but she was back in class on Monday, and waited to take her honeymoon over winter break. Our professors are very strict about missing classes -- in fact, by rule of the American Bar Association, if we miss a certain number of days, students may be expelled. I would not be shocked to learn the American Medical Association also has a similar rule for med students. 

My parents met in med school, and got married during their 3rd year. They conveniently waited for a weekend before a conference in November they were expected to attend. Their wedding was VERY small and informal (both sets of my grandparents, a handful of friends, and most [but not all] of their siblings. . . about 15 people total). They then went to the conference which lasted a week, but they got their program to help reimburse travel costs, so they took the train and counted that as their honeymoon. 

So, it is possible, but just be aware that if you choose to stick with your date, that you will probably want to be back in class the Monday after, and maybe wait to take a honeymoon at a later time (winter break seems to be better than summers even, due to the reason I listed above about internships). 

charlotte989875

I can't imagine a program is going to allow you to take time off for your wedding. In my PhD program one cohort member got married Labor Day weekend and was back in classes Tuesday after the Monday holiday.  Another got married Veterans Day weekend and was in class Monday. I even know someone who had a baby during the semester and she was back in classes two weeks later. 

If the day is that important to you, that's great get married then. But I wouldn't expect to be able to take any time off of classes. 

nerdwife

OP, I don't know if you plan on coming back here, but one more thing I want to point out: becoming a doctor means having to be flexible with plans. My FI had to work nights this past weekend, which sucks, but that's the way it is. And we have to plan our vacations over a year in advance and have to do it in one week blocks. This past December, FI had to give in his vacation requests for the residency year that runs from July 2016-July 2017. We knew we needed time for our wedding, so that was easy to plan, but otherwise we just kind of had to guess as to when we would want to go away.

I'm just pointing that out so you know that now is a good time to let go of hard and fast plans and learn to be flexible. You said this date is important to FI, so now might be a good time to sit down with him and explain how radically medical school and being a doctor is going to change your lives.

Also, why on earth is your username your actual name? You should probably change it for internet security reasons.

ETA: It was really easy to find you, particularly since you used your full name and also posted on local boards. I'm not trying to be a creep, but I am trying to prevent you from allowing an actual creep to access your life.

levioosa

Does your FI understand what med school will entail?  It's not something you can just skip for a few days. If you must, plan a weekend wedding, but don't expect to be able to take off any time for it. Also, how do you know you won't have clinicals/internship during that day?  

GlamQueenBride

So medical school is different than most other graduate programs in that many schools don't have mandatory attendance. Your progress is judged through 4-5 hour exams during the semester and of course, your three licensing exams which are 8-16 hours in length. Many of the med students I know through my fiance who is one, read on their own and watch the podcasts from their lectures. So in that sense, it IS possible to take a weekend for your own wedding, BUT this remains a very bad idea because (a) you don't know your test schedule (what if you have a 4-hour exam the next day?), (b) you don't have your lab schedule and labs are mandatory, and (c) you don't know what type of student you are. Some students read things over once and pass. Others have to study literally 10 hours a day every day (including weekends) just to pass because there's that much information.

My fiance has 10 binders filled to capacity from information just during first year. You have no idea how you're going to handle that kind of information overload until you experience it. So hold off and don't plan your wedding until you start and get a better handle on things. Fourth year of med school is an ideal time to plan your wedding.

scrunchythief

We got married over the summer, but I gave birth the day before my husband's grad school semester started.  He had his laptop and was working in the delivery room and was in class the day after DD was born.  

If you have the choice, I'd move it.  If that date is really important to your FI, is he willing to do all the planning/coordinating so you have time for your studies?  If not, I don't think you should keep that date.