Guest or photographer

Knottie1431703947

My fiancé's godfather was a big influence on him growing up. He is a very successful photographer and because of him my fiancé took the same career path.

The issue is whether we should invite him as a guest or first request he do our photography for the wedding. We feel he should just be a guest and enjoy the wedding because we want him there because he is important to my fiancé, not because he is a photographer. However my FMIL thinks if we do not ask him to do the photos it could also be insulting because that is what he prides himself on, and it would be like choosing someone else over him.

justsie

I would ask him to be a guest. If he wants to do the photography he can offer, and then you and your FI can sit down and talk about his fee and treat him like a vendor for the event. I agree with you and your FI's feelings, if he is snapping photos he is not going to be able to enjoy the wedding. He will at that point be a vendor. I am of the opinion that it is rude to ask someone who you would invite to your wedding as a guest to work for the wedding, if they offer that is another thing, but asking upfront might make it sound like its the only reason they are getting invited and may put them in an uncomfortable spot.
Your FMIL sounds like she is meaning well, just let her know you and your FI have got it covered. 

ernursej

You might also think about asking your Godfather for a referral to a photographer that he recommends, letting him know that you love his style but want him to enjoy the day as a guest.  

SP29

I agree with Jutsie. Invite him because you want him there as a guest. If he offers his services, then by all means you can take him up on it, but otherwise I would agree that I would not ask a friend/family member to be a vendor. 

jacques27

Guest.

I also think you (or rather your FMIL) are overestimating just how much he would be offended.  I bake (hobby, not professionally) and while I'm happy to help people out, usually, it's a relief sometimes when my friends and family go elsewhere, especially for events I'm also attending.  I don't take offense because they are going to a bakery (even though I firmly believe mine are superior with few exceptions).  I also have friends who are in the restaurant/catering business and while happy to cater for a mutual friend at a recent wedding, I could tell they would have been much happier being guests.  Likewise for a few of my photographer and musician friends.  When it comes to our friends and family, most of us really would prefer to be guests and enjoy ourselves.  Maybe that's not true for everyone, but it certainly is for people I know.

It's not like you wouldn't be inviting him as a guest AND also not using him as a photographer.  I could find him being offended by that.  But guest is an honor and he'll likely be very happy in that role. 

JoanE2012

Invite him as a guest.  That is more of an honor than working a wedding.  

Jen4948

He may well want to take some photos of his own, which should be really good and extra special.  But someone you're that close to shouldn't be hired to work the wedding, but allowed to enjoy it as a guest.  So I would invite him as a guest and hire a professional to do the work of photography.  As a PP suggests, maybe he can recommend someone.

spockforprez

Jen4948 said:

He may well want to take some photos of his own, which should be really good and extra special.  But someone you're that close to shouldn't be hired to work the wedding, but allowed to enjoy it as a guest.  So I would invite him as a guest and hire a professional to do the work of photography.  As a PP suggests, maybe he can recommend someone.

My only concern with the bolded is that oftentimes photography contracts specify that they will be the only professional photographer at the event. Technically he'd be just another guest with a camera, but if the photog knows he has a business and was going to release photos to the couple or something like that, that could cause some issues. I think it would definitely be helpful if it was one of his associates in the biz so that way they could talk that out without any weird blurring of the lines as far as professional photos goes. 

[Deleted User]

Knottie1431703947 said:

My fiancé's godfather was a big influence on him growing up. He is a very successful photographer and because of him my fiancé took the same career path.

The issue is whether we should invite him as a guest or first request he do our photography for the wedding. We feel he should just be a guest and enjoy the wedding because we want him there because he is important to my fiancé, not because he is a photographer. However my FMIL thinks if we do not ask him to do the photos it could also be insulting because that is what he prides himself on, and it would be like choosing someone else over him.

Guest.  Definitely.

MaggieF1990

I actually had a similar issue; my cousin's wife is a photographer and actually pretty popular in the city we live for wedding and family photography. I LOVE their photos and would have loved for her to take pictures at our wedding, but I really wanted to give them the option of being a guest at our wedding rather than working like I'm sure they do for many friends' and acquaintances' weddings.

I agree with @jacques27 - I think they will be less offended than you think. I thought the same thing, and let her know ahead of time that obviously we love her photos, but that we really wanted she and my cousin to enjoy being guests at the wedding. I even told her we wanted her to take our engagement photos, and she said she'd be happy to but actually recommended we use the same photographer for both due to package pricing, getting to know us and how we photograph, etc. In this case, enjoying a wedding as a guest rather than a vendor is probably a rare circumstance for them, so he might appreciate it!

Jen4948

spockforprez said:

Jen4948 said:

He may well want to take some photos of his own, which should be really good and extra special.  But someone you're that close to shouldn't be hired to work the wedding, but allowed to enjoy it as a guest.  So I would invite him as a guest and hire a professional to do the work of photography.  As a PP suggests, maybe he can recommend someone.

My only concern with the bolded is that oftentimes photography contracts specify that they will be the only professional photographer at the event. Technically he'd be just another guest with a camera, but if the photog knows he has a business and was going to release photos to the couple or something like that, that could cause some issues. I think it would definitely be helpful if it was one of his associates in the biz so that way they could talk that out without any weird blurring of the lines as far as professional photos goes. 

Possibly.  Or the OP can negotiate an exemption for the godfather in the professional photography contract that allows him to photograph the event in his personal capacity rather than as a "professional."