Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehearsal & Rehearsal Dinner?

I am sending out invites for our rehearsal dinner. I know it is bridal party, SO's, grandparents, and parents. Would SO's be invited to the rehearsal also? Our rehearsal is at our church at 5 pm and then dinner is at a banquet hall at 7pm. I made up invitations for the dinner and then I'm going to add an insert for ceremony rehearsal details. I am just not sure who to address that too.


Re: Rehearsal & Rehearsal Dinner?

  • The SOs don't need to be at the rehearsal. If they are OOT, they may want to come along with their partner or they may just want to meet at the dinner venue. The dinner invitations should go to them together. As for the insert, just put it in there and let them decide what they want to do.
  • I'd leave that as optional.    It is really situation dependent on whether or not it makes sense.

    Every time DH has been in a wedding and I have not been in it with him, I go to the rehearsal and just chill out in the back.   Logistics make far more sense for me to just be there because we have traveled OOT to a hotel and it didn't make sense to go to the rehearsal and then have DH go back to our hotel to pick me up and / or have me hanging out at a bar waiting.

    However if your wedding rehearsal was in some place like a hotel ballroom, the WP was staying in the hotel and the RD was IN the hotel, they don't need to be there.

    I'd leave it as a "whatever works best for you" situation for your WP.   
  • Agreed. Whatever works best.

    For our rehearsal + dinner, the SOs and two of our OOT guests who were invited came to the rehearsal because it was easier to for travel. 
  • SOs definitely need to be invited to the dinner, but I think that when it comes to the rehearsal itself, it might be a "know your crowd" thing. I agree with PPs that whatever works best is your best course of action.
  • Thanks everyone. I do have the dinner invites addressed to party & SO's. I just wasn't sure if I should mark the inserts for the rehearsal stating that SO's do not have to come. I guess i'll just put the insert in them and leave it up to them if they should come or not. It makes sense for OOT guests to just come if they are invited to the dinner.
  • I'm more curious why you have 2 hours between the start of the rehearsal & the start of the dinner?  We had a Catholic wedding w/ a full Mass, and our rehearsal was done within 30 minutes.

    Regarding rehearsal & RD, we sent "formal" invites to the RD (I put formal in quotes bc they were just simple vistaprint postcards).  We emailed / called the rehearsal attendees separately about the actual rehearsal.
  • Our Pastor said to allow an hour for the rehearsal. She likes to go over it twice. Our banquet hall is than 30 mins from our church so to allow time for travel and traffic. Everyone already knows how far the banquet hall and they are all okay with it. I really was just questioning how to address the invites. The timing works out perfectly for all those involved.

  • Regarding rehearsal & RD, we sent "formal" invites to the RD (I put formal in quotes bc they were just simple vistaprint postcards).  We emailed / called the rehearsal attendees separately about the actual rehearsal.
    I would do this. Send the invitation to guest+SO for dinner. Let those involved know by word of mouth when and where the rehearsal is.

    Our "invitations" were very informal for our RD. The rehearsal and dinner was communicated by word of mouth or email and we told those with SOs that their SO was invited as well. 
  • I would definitely just do word of mouth on the rehearsal itself. I often see SOs at rehearsals due only to logistics. It doesn't matter if they're there, and it doesn't matter if they're not there. 
    So agree with the others- address the invite to the couple, and just inform the people participating in the ceremony about the rehearsal logistics. 
    ________________________________


  • Agreed, leave it up to them. Our bridal all brought there SOs so they could go right to the dinner venue. 

    Also, our rehearsal lasted over an hour, by the time everyone got there, found the right place, said hi, etc  we didn't start right at 6. Pastor wanted to run through all of the readings, vows, where everyone stood, and show us all the rooms we could use (bride room, groom room, bathrooms, etc) so it took a while. 
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