Flower Girls

[Deleted User]

I'm getting married in September, planning on about 75-80 guests. I'm not having a bridal party and don't really like the cutesy flower girl/ring bearer thing so wasn't planning on doing that either. My cousin who is 9 really wants to participate in the wedding and now I'm more open to having her and another cousin on my side and my fiance's cousin participate and just have flower girls - 3 girls with simple white dresses and flower crowns. 

My fiance's cousin has a little brother who is rambunctious and I really don't see him making it down the aisle and personally I don't want a "ringbearer". I want to make sure his cousin feels included so I can preface by asking her mom that it's only if her daughter wants to and only if she thinks her son wouldn't feel bad, but should I even bother? What if she offers her son as a ringbearer?

ILoveBeachMusic

If you want to include the girls as flower girls, you should definitely ok it with the parents first and say it certainly is required that they participate. Hopefully, the mother won't offer her son as ring bearer but if she does just tell her you weren't planning on having one.

SP29

You can ask one cousin to be your flower girl without asking her brother to be the ring bearer. Yes, you should ask the little girl's parents first. 

No one is entitled to a spot in your WP. No one should ask to be in your WP. 

If it gets brought up, as said, "We aren't having a ring bearer". 

kvruns

Knottie1452126447 said:

I'm getting married in September, planning on about 75-80 guests. I'm not having a bridal party and don't really like the cutesy flower girl/ring bearer thing so wasn't planning on doing that either. My cousin who is 9 really wants to participate in the wedding and now I'm more open to having her and another cousin on my side and my fiance's cousin participate and just have flower girls - 3 girls with simple white dresses and flower crowns. 

My fiance's cousin has a little brother who is rambunctious and I really don't see him making it down the aisle and personally I don't want a "ringbearer". I want to make sure his cousin feels included so I can preface by asking her mom that it's only if her daughter wants to and only if she thinks her son wouldn't feel bad, but should I even bother? What if she offers her son as a ringbearer?

if you don't want a bridal party that is fine, just say we are not having anyone in the bridal party but we can't wait to celebrate with you at the wedding. don't be forced to include people or feel obligated just because someone's kid wants to be in it.

Jen4948

Knottie1452126447 said:

I'm getting married in September, planning on about 75-80 guests. I'm not having a bridal party and don't really like the cutesy flower girl/ring bearer thing so wasn't planning on doing that either. My cousin who is 9 really wants to participate in the wedding and now I'm more open to having her and another cousin on my side and my fiance's cousin participate and just have flower girls - 3 girls with simple white dresses and flower crowns. 

My fiance's cousin has a little brother who is rambunctious and I really don't see him making it down the aisle and personally I don't want a "ringbearer". I want to make sure his cousin feels included so I can preface by asking her mom that it's only if her daughter wants to and only if she thinks her son wouldn't feel bad, but should I even bother? What if she offers her son as a ringbearer?

Ask her parents first, but if her mom brings up having her son as a ring bearer, I would have your FI (since this is his cousin) tell her, "We've decided not to have a ring bearer. But we look forward to seeing all of you at the wedding."