Updates on my FH

glasgowtolondon

Wear the shit out of that dress! Your plans sound perfect.

What are you going to do with your hair, is it all going to be down? I remember you telling us you have super long hair. I want to do a flower crown too, enquiring minds want to know!

NowIAmSyp

Please post pics!  We all can't wait to see them  sounds beautiful.

laurad75

This latest update made me tear up.  I am in awe of your strength and ability to stay positive.  You and your FH are going to have an amazing life together. 

OliveOilsMom

Your wedding plans sound wonderful.  I'm glad you two are able to get all the dominos in a row to get this wedding planned. 

Continued prayers for you and FH!

CharmedPam

I've been tearing up at the updates too.  I'm so glad you're having this wedding.  It sounds amazing.  That cake sounds and looks amazing! And yes, wear the dress!!!  March 17th is an awesome lucky day.

randomslove

Your wedding sounds awesome! Congratulations. I'm excited to see more updates in the future.

SP29

Plans sound perfect! Looking forward to seeing photos!

ericasm0703

Can't wait to see photos of your wedding! It already sounds amazing.

MCmeow

I've been slowly reading this thread over a few days between work and such and finally finished, and just have to say... you two are so inspiring. Honestly I can't think of anyone who embodies the meaning of marriage more than you two. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through, but I'm so amazed by your positivity. This story is definitely a lesson to be learned by anyone getting married, things can change in an instant, and we need to be willing to stick to our partners side no matter what happens.

I'm not too familiar with law, but you mentioned how dangerous those roads were before. I wonder if the lawsuit towards the driver can also makes changes to those roads, or make the driving rules a bit stricter? Something similar happened here (In Queens, NY), there was an intersection where people always got into accidents because of how the road was orientated, so after many accidents, deaths, and lawsuits later, they finally changed the road.

Also your wedding plans sound beautiful. I can imagine you guys looking back at this moment years from now, looking through wedding photos and seeing how strong and in love you two were in such a difficult situation.

thefanciestbeckler

Any new updates @spockforprez?? Been thinking about you guys today.

lovesclimbing

I haven't posted so far in here, but I have been keeping up with this thread and praying for you both. 

I wish I'd thought of this sooner, but have you contacted your state's office of victims' rights? I presume every state has one. At least in Alaska, they can provide free legal services to make sure you get everything you're entitled to like ensuring you're represented in court and restitution and such. 

I saw a few pages back where you were thinking of how active your FI was. There are still so many things he can do with just one leg! Growing up, a friend of my parents had just one leg. It was taken off at about the knee due to cancer. Her entire life, she went about on crutches. She has a prosthetic now, but doesn't use it all that much. Back then, prosthetics weren't what they are today. Anyway, she did all sorts of things. She did a very challenging bicycle race (steep, over a mountain pass on a gravel road) and places first in the women's division! She just had a strap for over the top of her shoe so she could get the pedal all the way around. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is being at a potluck and she was helping put chairs away, managing to put away folding chairs while on crutches!

It'll take some getting used to, but you can't keep a person down who wants to be up and around and active. 

I hope your wedding day is wonderful, beautiful and blessed!  

Jen4948

Your plans sound lovely.  Wishing you and your FI all the best!

charlotte989875

Happy Wedding Week, @spockforprez!!

RomanceManaged

i haven't posted here yet, because I really wasn't sure what I could say. I think you both were just absolutely meant for one another, and your FI is so lucky to have you.

I'm sorry that at this most happiest of times (Happy almost wedding!!!) there's a dark cloud over you, but you guys seem so optimistic, and that's more than hald the battle!

Many moons ago I worked for this camp here in Michigan called The Fowler Center, that specializes in all sorts of diabilities. Its got rock climbing, horses, an aerial acrobatic course, all sorts of stuff. I remember a camper that had both her legs removed and she did all sorts of activities and it made her feel so good about herself ( SHe climbed the rock wall faster than I did!). Someday, maybe look into a place like that wherever you are so FI can get out and be just as active.

I miss the updates and hope everything is going well!!

spockforprez

Hey y'all... sorry for the long silence. I was in my cousin's wedding this weekend and I also got shaving cream on my laptop's trackpad (long story lol) so it's not working. I borrowed my aunt's laptop to write this because typing long updates on my phone is the worst!

FH is doing pretty well. He's battling constipation due to the opiate regimen (that is NOT a problem he struggles with at home lol), working on that with a higher dose of stool softeners. Since surgery Friday he's had low blood pressure and high heart rate and has needed IV fluids occasionally to assist. He's also on a couple types of antibiotics, not 100% sure why but I know they did blood cultures after the surgery so they may have found something there that needed attention.

So his surgery Friday was on his pelvis, the first of at least two. They put in a screw or screws in the back of his pelvis. He still has his external fixator on. They also needed to do some adjustments to his stump due to a bone trying to protrude. He was in quite a bit of pain after the surgery because he waited too long to speak up about his pain level, ugh. It's so hard for him to "inconvenience" anyone. Although it was so hard to see him in pain, I'm hoping the experience will be the motivation he needs to accurately describe his pain level and get the help he needs. They also increased his dose of the drug that controls phantom pain so since then, he has been feeling pretty good!

They are monitoring him this week and then will schedule his next pelvis surgery, hopefully the last! Then discharge, followed by 4-8 weeks in a nursing home, followed by inpatient rehab for an indeterminate length of time.

Thursday my mom and I toured three nursing homes (and attempted a fourth) near our house. We liked two of them. We will try to see the fourth one again soon but the lady is pretty flaky. The two we liked were close to the house and my new job, so we could return to a somewhat normal life with me and the cats in the house and seeing FH at lunch and after work. The rehab we want him to be in is near the house, too, so same deal. I'm still incredibly anxious about sleeping at the house alone - a close friend just started working for ADT, though, and said he could install a system for us without the activation fee, so I might do that to make myself feel better about being alone. Although the second it goes off I will be paralyzed with fear and won't be able to do anything about it anyway  

Some of FH's college roommates visited this weekend - 2 of the 3 visitors were groomsmen in the original wedding. I wasn't there, but he REALLY enjoyed that. They brought a ton of old pictures and relived the good times. That really lifted his spirits. So happy about that!

I can't remember the last thing I posted... Wednesday afternoon he was moved into a private room so we are so thankful he's been able to rest better. He's gotten much better care, too. Like I said before, I think maybe it was just the shock and adjusting to the new lower level of care. 

Wedding plans are still going well. For awhile they were talking about discharging him in between surgeries which was going to complicate things, but we haven't heard anything more about that. We got our marriage license today (it was fun raising our right hands in the hospital room!) and we have the flowers, photos, and catering worked out. The only sticky part is the officiant. Our officiant works Tuesdays and Thursdays so we can't use her, and although I spoke with a hospital chaplain last week who indicated it wouldn't be a problem to perform a civil ceremony, after speaking with her boss she visited FH and told him we should get someone from the city instead. Kind of frustrating but we'll work it out. The woman who did our license knows an officiant who comes into her office a lot and she is going to call him tomorrow. If that doesn't work out, that's my task tomorrow.

We are both really excited to get married I can't wait to be a wife!

spockforprez

MCmeow said:

I've been slowly reading this thread over a few days between work and such and finally finished, and just have to say... you two are so inspiring. Honestly I can't think of anyone who embodies the meaning of marriage more than you two. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through, but I'm so amazed by your positivity. This story is definitely a lesson to be learned by anyone getting married, things can change in an instant, and we need to be willing to stick to our partners side no matter what happens.

I'm not too familiar with law, but you mentioned how dangerous those roads were before. I wonder if the lawsuit towards the driver can also makes changes to those roads, or make the driving rules a bit stricter? Something similar happened here (In Queens, NY), there was an intersection where people always got into accidents because of how the road was orientated, so after many accidents, deaths, and lawsuits later, they finally changed the road.

Also your wedding plans sound beautiful. I can imagine you guys looking back at this moment years from now, looking through wedding photos and seeing how strong and in love you two were in such a difficult situation.

I can't recall what I said... as far as I know, there were no dangerous conditions on the road except for the reckless driver exceeding the speed limit around a curve.

spockforprez

RomanceManaged said:

i haven't posted here yet, because I really wasn't sure what I could say. I think you both were just absolutely meant for one another, and your FI is so lucky to have you.

I'm sorry that at this most happiest of times (Happy almost wedding!!!) there's a dark cloud over you, but you guys seem so optimistic, and that's more than hald the battle!

Many moons ago I worked for this camp here in Michigan called The Fowler Center, that specializes in all sorts of diabilities. Its got rock climbing, horses, an aerial acrobatic course, all sorts of stuff. I remember a camper that had both her legs removed and she did all sorts of activities and it made her feel so good about herself ( SHe climbed the rock wall faster than I did!). Someday, maybe look into a place like that wherever you are so FI can get out and be just as active.

I miss the updates and hope everything is going well!!

lovesclimbing said:

I haven't posted so far in here, but I have been keeping up with this thread and praying for you both. 

I wish I'd thought of this sooner, but have you contacted your state's office of victims' rights? I presume every state has one. At least in Alaska, they can provide free legal services to make sure you get everything you're entitled to like ensuring you're represented in court and restitution and such. 

I saw a few pages back where you were thinking of how active your FI was. There are still so many things he can do with just one leg! Growing up, a friend of my parents had just one leg. It was taken off at about the knee due to cancer. Her entire life, she went about on crutches. She has a prosthetic now, but doesn't use it all that much. Back then, prosthetics weren't what they are today. Anyway, she did all sorts of things. She did a very challenging bicycle race (steep, over a mountain pass on a gravel road) and places first in the women's division! She just had a strap for over the top of her shoe so she could get the pedal all the way around. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is being at a potluck and she was helping put chairs away, managing to put away folding chairs while on crutches!

It'll take some getting used to, but you can't keep a person down who wants to be up and around and active. 

I hope your wedding day is wonderful, beautiful and blessed!  

All of the bolded sounds awesome! We are definitely going to look into activities for him, because he really likes to be active. A lot of that will depend on how much function, if any, he regains in his left arm. But we both fully believe no matter what his function is, we will have a great and exciting life. He is researching RVs we can buy to go camping (which was always a plan anyway) as well as looking into trading his saxophone playing for trumpet, which he could do one-handed.

spockforprez

glasgowtolondon said:

Wear the shit out of that dress! Your plans sound perfect.

What are you going to do with your hair, is it all going to be down? I remember you telling us you have super long hair. I want to do a flower crown too, enquiring minds want to know!

Yep, hair down! I think I may do some kind of braid or something at the top just to create an anchor for the flower crown. I will post pics! My hair in its normal wavy state is down to my butt crack haha. My cousins are going to curl it so it will be shorter than that, but still pretty long. I like that because it covers a lot of my back fat and the corset that I'm not a huge fan of, plus I feel my best with my hair down and so does FH! 

ernursej

I'm so glad that your FI got a private room. Privacy really does make a huge difference. Tell him that nurses like to help and they really do prefer to get pain meds on board before pain gets out of control. Wish I could send a little army of my favourite nurses to help you guys out.

Sounds like there have been several good things happening in the last little whilte. I'll keep my fingers crossed that one of the homes will be perfect for him.

So looking forward to reading an update about your upcoming wedding. Would love to see a picture if you can. I'm certain it will be beautiful, meaningful and very romantic. As a consolation honeymoon, maybe you can jailbreak your hubby for a meal off hospital site??? I know that I looked after a lady whose husband used to 'jailbreak' her to the nearby Burger King every week. We totally knew about it, but pretended to be very shocked when he rolled her down the hall. Not sure if he will be stable enough but perhaps in a couple of weeks ...

Best wishes.

short+sassy

spockforprez said:

We are having the only cake I really like, which is the All American chocolate cake from Costco. Costs $16 and could feed an army. I think there were like 15 people at my birthday party a few years ago and we had this cake and had more than half left over lol.



We are also having some BBQ. Which was the plan originally anyway. Yay!  

Your new wedding plans sound wonderful!  I'm so glad you decided to wear your wedding dress.  Looking forward to the pics.

And a shout out to your wedding cake plans.  I got my H the exact same Costco cake for his b-day last year.  This is a man with a serious, serious sweet tooth.  Who will eat an entire chocolate cake (made from a box) in 2 days.  But we still gave away half that cake to various neighbors.  It is enormous and a sight to behold.  Great choice! 

MCmeow

spockforprez said:

MCmeow said:

I've been slowly reading this thread over a few days between work and such and finally finished, and just have to say... you two are so inspiring. Honestly I can't think of anyone who embodies the meaning of marriage more than you two. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through, but I'm so amazed by your positivity. This story is definitely a lesson to be learned by anyone getting married, things can change in an instant, and we need to be willing to stick to our partners side no matter what happens.

I'm not too familiar with law, but you mentioned how dangerous those roads were before. I wonder if the lawsuit towards the driver can also makes changes to those roads, or make the driving rules a bit stricter? Something similar happened here (In Queens, NY), there was an intersection where people always got into accidents because of how the road was orientated, so after many accidents, deaths, and lawsuits later, they finally changed the road.

Also your wedding plans sound beautiful. I can imagine you guys looking back at this moment years from now, looking through wedding photos and seeing how strong and in love you two were in such a difficult situation.

I can't recall what I said... as far as I know, there were no dangerous conditions on the road except for the reckless driver exceeding the speed limit around a curve.

Whoops, I must've remembered wrong. Hope you guys get justice with the driver!

P.S: My mom actually works in a Costco bakery and has made those cakes in the past, and damn they are good. Gotta brag that my mom's version of them were the customer's favorite :P 

spockforprez

Rough night for FH. His phantom pain is awful, so they upped his dose again. But because of that, they gave him a smaller dose than usual for his 4pm scheduled dose. Not quite sure why, but he was in pain all night until the nurse convinced the doctor to give it at 10:30 instead of midnight. He asked me to stay at the hospital with him. Won't get much sleep but I'm glad I can be a comfort to him. 

We have an officiant on board so we should be all set for Thursday.  

tigerlily6

Tell FI to hang in there, @spockforprez (and you too)! Directing positive energies your way tonight. Thursday is almost here!

CMGragain

I haven't been this excited about a wedding since Will and Kate!

kimmiinthemitten

CMGragain said:

I haven't been this excited about a wedding since Will and Kate!

I know, right?!

Hopefully the night wasn't too fitful and both of you were able to get some sleep.  

debbeau

I hope the morning is much better. My mom goes through the phantom pains. You feel so bad for them. I am glad you could be of comfort.

spockforprez

D'awww, you guys.  

I slept all right at the hospital. Not great but nothing as bad as last week when we were in the room with the pain pill guy. 

FH's new higher dose of his phantom pain med is really helping. He says he can still feel the signals but they aren't as painful. Last night he was squeezing my hand until my fingers went numb! lol. Poor, poor guy. Nothing I could do, except be there for him.

So he does have some type of infection. The trauma docs suspect it is in his stump but didn't remove the bandages as that is the orthopedic docs' thing. He's on at least 2 and possibly 3 types of antibiotics at this point. He had staples removed from his belly, shoulder, and arm today. He's also using the bathroom more successfully after adding a laxative to his meds.

I'm having lunch with the last of my four former bridesmaids today, to pass along her gift. Not much else to do until tomorrow when I'm going back to my city to talk to our friend about installing ADT and also getting my braces off! (Temporarily, just for the wedding.) When I'm back on my phone in a minute I will post a photo of how the champagne glasses turned out after my mom had them engraved - I really love them!

spockforprez

Here's the pic of the glasses. They are an iridescent blue green - they definitely look more green in this photo, though!

short+sassy

spockforprez said:

Here's the pic of the glasses. They are an iridescent blue green - they definitely look more green in this photo, though!

When you first described them, I assumed they were clear glass or crystal.  Which still would have been lovely.  But that iridescent blue green is gorgeous!

debbeau

Have a wonderful  wedding day tomorrow. I am sure you will be beautiful