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Wedding Party
Knottie55076812
member
Bridesmaids' gifts.. is this enough?
Hi! I have 4 bridesmaids and 2 MOH's.
At the rehearsal dinner, I am giving them matching satin robes on a personalized hanger, a bottle of nail polish they will wear, the jewelry they will wear and a note saying that i will be paying for their hair and make up.
That adds up to be almost $200 a girl so in total I will be spending over a grand on them.
Are more gifts expected? I want to show them my gratitude. I was thinking getting my MOHs something additional since I know they are doing much more for the shower, but I don't want the maids to be insulted.
Would maybe treating them to dinner or having a spa day be a better option than thinking of another generic gift?
Or are these things with a heartfelt note more than enough?
At the rehearsal dinner, I am giving them matching satin robes on a personalized hanger, a bottle of nail polish they will wear, the jewelry they will wear and a note saying that i will be paying for their hair and make up.
That adds up to be almost $200 a girl so in total I will be spending over a grand on them.
Are more gifts expected? I want to show them my gratitude. I was thinking getting my MOHs something additional since I know they are doing much more for the shower, but I don't want the maids to be insulted.
Would maybe treating them to dinner or having a spa day be a better option than thinking of another generic gift?
Or are these things with a heartfelt note more than enough?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bridesmaids' gifts.. is this enough?
Did you get them anything for them?
None of these items are gifts - they are things that support your "vision." Let your bridesmaids get ready in something they're comfortable in, jewelry that they like, nail polish that they like (I usually get my nails done before weddings - if I received a bottle of polish at the rehearsal dinner and was told I had to remove my manicure and put on your polish the night before the wedding I'd be pissed), and hair/makeup how they feel comfortable.
Treat your BMs like people, not props, please. Get them gifts that are personal to them, not selfish gifts that support your image for pictures.
Take your wedding out of it. What would you buy these women for their birthdays? That's how you should be shopping for this.
Think of it this way, if your in laws gifted you a DJ who only played music that your in laws liked, would you think it was a great gift?
That said, yeah. If I got that gift, I would be sighing inside while I graciously accepted it. I don't like getting my nails or make-up done professionally (I do it myself), and I'm allergic to most jewelry, so I'll only wear precious metals or something hypoallergenic - especially earrings, but including necklaces and bracelets.
I'd skip the $200 worth of *BM* stuff & spend like $50-$100 each on things they'll enjoy more.
Shop for them like you would if it were their birthday or Christmas.
As for the hosts of any pre-wedding parties you had, if you would like to buy them a gift, do this separate from the WP gifts.
We were just trying to help you out, but with that attitude I no longer want to help you. Go ahead and give your BMs gifts that will reveal just how truly selfish you are.
LOL at the irony...
Furthermore, I would never wear a robe out in public. Ever. Not if you paid me my weight in gold. I rarely leave my home in less than a done face, hair, and after i spent some time considering my outfit. If someone wanted me to wear a robe in a salon for pictures I would not be happy. And would likely show up in my own clothes anyways.
I would suggest reading some other posts about BM gifts on this board to help you out. You don't have to spend a lot of money to give a nice gift. I think mine are about $30 for each girl. Etsy has a lot of great stuff that wont break the bank, or be ridiculous.
But sure, fine, go back to Weddingbee and let them validate your choices. I mean, if I had a choice between getting empty praise from internet strangers or making my bridal party feel genuinely appreciated, I know what I'd choose.
I myself posted a similar question at first and I realized people were right and on a now limited budget, since I'd already blown it on stupid things, I was still able to get my friends gifts they loved.
I've been a bridesmaid more than 10 times. Almost each time the gift has been the jewelry to wear and something small ( I now have 3 makeup bags with my name on them, lol). Granted, I have given away most of the jewelry after the wedding, but I was OK with wearing it for her pics, etc. I would have loved it if the bride had covered hair and nails! But really, it never occurred to me to expect more or be disappointed.
It's possible we're in a different socioeconomic sphere (I’d say I’m solidly middle-class), and expectations are different, but man, these special gifts seem to just add stress and cost to the wedding. Every time I see a photo of bridal parties in matching robes I think “All that money, just for a few likes on a Facebook photo.”
But, in summary, I know I’m in the minority, but that gift seems more than generous. Weddings have always cost me a bunch of money, and it would have been nice to have that alleviated. I’ve never expected my friend to reflect on our friendship and get me some thoughtful gift. We have the rest of our lives to do that instead of a time they’re probably drowning in debt anyways.
I gave my friend a fair trade sushi set because fair trade is important to her, she and her husband like sushi and aspire to make their own, and it's probably too expensive to be a thing she'd ever buy herself. It's not that hard.
Because those aren't "gifts" to me. They don't take into account what I like or what I'm interested in. Plus, I refuse to let others dictate for me what color nail polish to wear, and I don't wear robes to take photos in.
So you're right a lot of us probably wouldn't be disappointed to be getting the stuff OP mentions however wouldn't it be nicer to surprise your BMs and give them stuff they will love rather than just "not disappoint" them?
I'll say that they are still gifts, as I've had it drilled into my head since birth that anything someone does for you is a gift, but they aren't good gifts. They won't be appreciated, and took no effort on OP's side for thoughtfulness for what they'd enjoy... But, being honest, I wouldn't be upset if my BFF gifted me hair and nails for her wedding, but it's something she would also do for my birthday, and she would never dictate a color or style.
OP, try to think of what they would appreciate. What would they enjoy?
For my BM's I bought them all tote bags with their monogram and the monogram thread matches the dress color they are wearing (3 different colors) - the gift is not for the wedding but maybe it will remind them of it when they use it. I also plan to buy each of them something from origins or sephora that is personal to them. I did buy them all wraps that they might use for the wedding if its chilly but I am giving that to them separate from the gifts.
I think if you stick around and read some more posts you will find that there is great advice on here and the group can be really supportive and helpful with questions.
The point is to give your BMs a thank you for standing up beside you. It doesn't have to be big, or lavish. It could even be homemade! The point is that the giver is taking the time to gift something thoughtful to the receiver- not a gift for themselves.