MOB Dress

SquirttheTurtle

Having a bit of a wedding attire conundrum...our colors are buff pink, light coral, mint green and sand/tan. FI is wearing a tan vested suit and the dad's are wearing dark blue/navy vest suites (no jacket or tie, just pants and vest w/ button downs). Our attendants are picking their own dresses.  The MOG picked out her dress already (taupe traditional mothers dress).  My mom (MOB) has yet to find a dress (even though MOB is supposed to pick her dress first).  Would a dress similar to the one posted work?  MOB is not overly thrilled with our colors and since MOG is wearing taupe/tan, she doesn't want to.  We are having a more casual/laid back beachy type wedding and traditional mother's dresses wont really work.  Any input is greatly appreciated!

ShesSoCold

Knottie02926823 said:

Having a bit of a wedding attire conundrum...our colors are buff pink, light coral, mint green and sand/tan. FI is wearing a tan vested suit and the dad's are wearing dark blue/navy vest suites (no jacket or tie, just pants and vest w/ button downs). Our attendants are picking their own dresses.  The MOG picked out her dress already (taupe traditional mothers dress).  My mom (MOB) has yet to find a dress (even though MOB is supposed to pick her dress first).  Would a dress similar to the one posted work?  MOB is not overly thrilled with our colors and since MOG is wearing taupe/tan, she doesn't want to.  We are having a more casual/laid back beachy type wedding and traditional mother's dresses wont really work.  Any input is greatly appreciated!

It literally does not matter what the moms (or dads) wear and there is nothing wrong with MOG buying her dress already.

randomslove

I'm a little confused as to why she can't choose whatever she likes. She should go shopping for whatever makes her feel most comfortable, regardless of what color or style anyone else is wearing. Also, as long as everyone has clothes to wear for the wedding, there's no set schedule or order.

MobKaz

Knottie02926823 said:

Having a bit of a wedding attire conundrum...our colors are buff pink, light coral, mint green and sand/tan. FI is wearing a tan vested suit and the dad's are wearing dark blue/navy vest suites (no jacket or tie, just pants and vest w/ button downs). Our attendants are picking their own dresses.  The MOG picked out her dress already (taupe traditional mothers dress).  My mom (MOB) has yet to find a dress (even though MOB is supposed to pick her dress first).  Would a dress similar to the one posted work?  MOB is not overly thrilled with our colors and since MOG is wearing taupe/tan, she doesn't want to.  We are having a more casual/laid back beachy type wedding and traditional mother's dresses wont really work.  Any input is greatly appreciated!

The good news is that your mom doesn't have to be thrilled about those colors.  She is free to wear whatever looks best on her.  That decision should be hers and hers alone.  

geebee908

Why can't your mother pick out her own dress like everyone else? Are your pictures more important than your mother being happy with what she's wearing? So much energy is wasted in trying to plan for everyone to be coordinated when it could be as easy as saying "wear whatever you feel great in."

levioosa

It doesn't matter what she wears, or who picked out what outfit first.  Literally. doesn't. matter.  

Tell your mom to pick out whatever makes her feel the most beautiful.  

pinupbride6189

PPs have it more than covered. Don't force your mother into wearing something she'll feel self conscious in.  You get to feel beautiful on your wedding day, shouldn't the people you love the most get to feel that way too?

ETF: words

OurWildKingdom

It is a cute dress, but would your mother be comfortable (physically and emotionally) in it? Only she can answer that. You can make suggestions (as in, "I think you would look fabulous in this. What do you think?"), but it's her choice in the end.

Jen4948

Your mom doesn't have to choose her dress first or coordinate with your colors.  I would let her choose a dress (when she's ready - it just needs to be before your wedding day) that she feels comfortable and happy wearing.

kvruns

MOB chooses first? Errrrr what? What if MOG plans to wear something already owned? Can't do it because it was purchased first?

kmmssg

MOB choosing her dress first is very very old school and comes from the days when the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding.  MOB was the hostess and planner.  B&G were lucky to be invited.  MOB called all the shots and this was her biggest social party - she would be judged by her peers if it was a hot mess.  Since she was actually hosting the party she would choose her dress first and then let MOG know what she chose.  I think that is how MOG's ended up always wearing beige.

I never ever called any of my 4 DDs' MIL's to tell them what I was wearing.  How insulting would that be!  We all dressed ourselves in what made us feel beautiful and everything went fine.

Your mom should pick a dress she loves and quit worrying about your wedding colors.

SquirttheTurtle

kmmssg said:

MOB choosing her dress first is very very old school and comes from the days when the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding.  MOB was the hostess and planner.  B&G were lucky to be invited.  MOB called all the shots and this was her biggest social party - she would be judged by her peers if it was a hot mess.  Since she was actually hosting the party she would choose her dress first and then let MOG know what she chose.  I think that is how MOG's ended up always wearing beige.

I never ever called any of my 4 DDs' MIL's to tell them what I was wearing.  How insulting would that be!  We all dressed ourselves in what made us feel beautiful and everything went fine.

Your mom should pick a dress she loves and quit worrying about your wedding colors.

...and if one of your 4 DD's didn't like your dress because it stood out too much, or didn't blend well with her colors, but you felt beautiful in it, would you have worn it anyways?

geebee908

Knottie02926823 said:

kmmssg said:

MOB choosing her dress first is very very old school and comes from the days when the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding.  MOB was the hostess and planner.  B&G were lucky to be invited.  MOB called all the shots and this was her biggest social party - she would be judged by her peers if it was a hot mess.  Since she was actually hosting the party she would choose her dress first and then let MOG know what she chose.  I think that is how MOG's ended up always wearing beige.

I never ever called any of my 4 DDs' MIL's to tell them what I was wearing.  How insulting would that be!  We all dressed ourselves in what made us feel beautiful and everything went fine.

Your mom should pick a dress she loves and quit worrying about your wedding colors.

...and if one of your 4 DD's didn't like your dress because it stood out too much, or didn't blend well with her colors, but you felt beautiful in it, would you have worn it anyways?

Would you not want your mother to feel beautiful on your wedding day?

SquirttheTurtle

geebee908 said:

Would you not want your mother to feel beautiful on your wedding day?

Obviously, yes, but SHE is concerned that this dress is TOO MUCH and that she'll stand out.  

geebee908

Knottie02926823 said:

geebee908 said:

Would you not want your mother to feel beautiful on your wedding day?

Obviously, yes, but SHE is concerned that this dress is TOO MUCH and that she'll stand out.  

Which dress is "this dress"? The one you posted a picture of? If so, then your mom won't feel great in it and you can move on to letting her pick out something for herself. If you release her from your color scheme requirement, that opens up a lot of possibilities.

MobKaz

Knottie02926823 said:

kmmssg said:

MOB choosing her dress first is very very old school and comes from the days when the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding.  MOB was the hostess and planner.  B&G were lucky to be invited.  MOB called all the shots and this was her biggest social party - she would be judged by her peers if it was a hot mess.  Since she was actually hosting the party she would choose her dress first and then let MOG know what she chose.  I think that is how MOG's ended up always wearing beige.

I never ever called any of my 4 DDs' MIL's to tell them what I was wearing.  How insulting would that be!  We all dressed ourselves in what made us feel beautiful and everything went fine.

Your mom should pick a dress she loves and quit worrying about your wedding colors.

...and if one of your 4 DD's didn't like your dress because it stood out too much, or didn't blend well with her colors, but you felt beautiful in it, would you have worn it anyways?

I would have worn it.  Heck, I almost wore pants.  My DD would NEVER comment on my choice of attire.  My choice of attire is not about her.    I did not need, nor did I seek, the approval of my DD or DS when it came time to make MY CHOICE of attire for their weddings.  

ernursej

I feel like pictures will always be better when people are comfortable and happy in what they are wearing. I agree with other posters that it is a dated idea for the MOB to pick her dress first or even the parents to be coordinating. I would just let your Mother pick and wear whatever she likes and because she is happy, the pictures will be radiant. My own Mother was actually a bit took back when I told her she could wear whatever she would like and initially had a lot of anxiety with what to wear. I booked some time with her to check out a dress shop and then also look in her closet. She ended up choosing a dress that was already in her closet and will look lovely. 

flantastic

No guest gives a shit if anyone's attire "blends well with your colors," and the almighty pictures will be great if your mom looks happy. Let your mom find her own dress without strings attached, or even your input.

OurWildKingdom

I think my Mom and my SIL's mother talked about dresses, but just to make sure they didn't buy identical ones. They didn't consult my SIL nor my brother, and they both looked great.

MobKaz

flantastic said:

No guest gives a shit if anyone's attire "blends well with your colors," and the almighty pictures will be great if your mom looks happy. Let your mom find her own dress without strings attached, or even your input.

The majority of pictures taken with my DD or DS on their wedding day were family pictures, NOT bridal party pictures.  There was no reason whatsoever to match, blend, or coordinate with the wedding party.  My husband and I are in a FEW pictures with the wedding party after church.  We were pretty much drowned out by the actual wedding party members and the bride and groom.  Our attire was beyond a non-issue.

I agree with @flantastic.  If this concern is because of worries over photographs, you are wasting energy on worthless worry.

kimmiinthemitten

MrsRobby16 said:

kmmssg said:

MOB choosing her dress first is very very old school and comes from the days when the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding.  MOB was the hostess and planner.  B&G were lucky to be invited.  MOB called all the shots and this was her biggest social party - she would be judged by her peers if it was a hot mess.  Since she was actually hosting the party she would choose her dress first and then let MOG know what she chose.  I think that is how MOG's ended up always wearing beige.

I never ever called any of my 4 DDs' MIL's to tell them what I was wearing.  How insulting would that be!  We all dressed ourselves in what made us feel beautiful and everything went fine.

Your mom should pick a dress she loves and quit worrying about your wedding colors.

...and if one of your 4 DD's didn't like your dress because it stood out too much, or didn't blend well with her colors, but you felt beautiful in it, would you have worn it anyways?

So did you pick out this dress or did your mom?  If she feels beautiful in it, she should wear it, period. She's not going to stick out in a negative way, she'll feel comfortable and therefore look stunning, and she won't spend the day worrying about her dress and will ultimately enjoy herself more. 

MesmrEwe

The only way she'll "stand out" is if she's wearing something she doesn't feel comfortable in or looks hideous in because it had to be matchy-matchy instead of a color that looks good on her.  Let her choose something she feels like a million bucks wearing in whichever color she chooses!!!

geebee908

kimmiinthemitten said:

MrsRobby16 said:

kmmssg said:

MOB choosing her dress first is very very old school and comes from the days when the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding.  MOB was the hostess and planner.  B&G were lucky to be invited.  MOB called all the shots and this was her biggest social party - she would be judged by her peers if it was a hot mess.  Since she was actually hosting the party she would choose her dress first and then let MOG know what she chose.  I think that is how MOG's ended up always wearing beige.

I never ever called any of my 4 DDs' MIL's to tell them what I was wearing.  How insulting would that be!  We all dressed ourselves in what made us feel beautiful and everything went fine.

Your mom should pick a dress she loves and quit worrying about your wedding colors.

...and if one of your 4 DD's didn't like your dress because it stood out too much, or didn't blend well with her colors, but you felt beautiful in it, would you have worn it anyways?

So did you pick out this dress or did your mom?  If she feels beautiful in it, she should wear it, period. She's not going to stick out in a negative way, she'll feel comfortable and therefore look stunning, and she won't spend the day worrying about her dress and will ultimately enjoy herself more. 

My sense is that her mom liked that dress and then bride told her mom she didn't like it for the bolded reasons and now mom feels self-conscious about it when she maybe didn't before. OP needs to butt out of the decision and let her mom find something she loves no matter the color or style.

beautyofdreams

I gave MOB and MOG a color to work with. I told them any purple dress of their choosing is fine. This gives them plenty of lead way to choose a style that is comfortable and suitable for them. Maybe you can do the same. It seems MOG already has her dress so tell MOB to a choose a dress anywhere in the color family of your wedding colors. I don't think that's to much to ask but I wouldn't pin her down to a specific dress or specific style. 

geebee908

beautyofdreams said:

I gave MOB and MOG a color to work with. I told them any purple dress of their choosing is fine. This gives them plenty of lead way to choose a style that is comfortable and suitable for them. Maybe you can do the same. It seems MOG already has her dress so tell MOB to a choose a dress anywhere in the color family of your wedding colors. I don't think that's to much to ask but I wouldn't pin her down to a specific dress or specific style. 

Part of the problem is that the MOB doesn't like the wedding colors. The point is that she doesn't need to match any of wedding colors any more than any other guest; she gets to pick whatever she likes without regard to anyone else's preferences.

[Deleted User]

beautyofdreams said:

I gave MOB and MOG a color to work with. I told them any purple dress of their choosing is fine. This gives them plenty of lead way to choose a style that is comfortable and suitable for them. Maybe you can do the same. It seems MOG already has her dress so tell MOB to a choose a dress anywhere in the color family of your wedding colors. I don't think that's to much to ask but I wouldn't pin her down to a specific dress or specific style. 

This is not good advice.  Grown women (and your MOTHER, for christ sake!) should be able to wear whatever the fuck they want; black, white, red, pink with purple polka dots, whatever!  It's their reward for living to an age where they get to see their children get married.  If she likes the dress and feels pretty in it, let her wear it; turquoise, lime green, hot pink, tan, neon orange and camo, does not matter.

If you're all that concerned that she doesn't match, get all the pictures with her in them printed in black and white.  Done.  Clashing solved.

floridabride44

beautyofdreams said:

I gave MOB and MOG a color to work with. I told them any purple dress of their choosing is fine. This gives them plenty of lead way to choose a style that is comfortable and suitable for them. Maybe you can do the same. It seems MOG already has her dress so tell MOB to a choose a dress anywhere in the color family of your wedding colors. I don't think that's to much to ask but I wouldn't pin her down to a specific dress or specific style. 

Why does it matter if the MOB matches the wedding colors? What if your mom and the MOG don't like wearing purple? 

Don't dictate outfits for parents. Their comfort should be more important than matchy-matchy photos... 100% of the time.