Moms and Maids

Maid of Honor Plus One

My sister is getting married in a little over three months and I am her maid of honor. Since she has a large bridal party (10 maids), as of right now, the seating for the head table is supposed to be the bride and groom, the best man and his wife, myself and my plus one. My mom and sister thought it would be best this way so that everyone in the wedding party could sit with their date. 
The problem here is that I don't have a serious boyfriend and bringing a casual date to my sister's somewhat small wedding (120 guests) seems like it would be a lot of pressure for both of us. I can already picture my extended family asking inappropriate questions to my mystery date. 
 One of my close guy friends has met my mom a few times and is a very social guy so I don't think he would be awkward in the situation but when I think about bringing I date ideally I would want it to be someone I'm romantically interested in. 
I haven't said much to my sister about going alone because she has made it an expectation for me to have a date since day one. Should I appease her and her plans and bring date even though I would probably be more comfortable without one? If so, which situation is better, bringing a platonic friend, or bringing someone I am casually seeing who will likely be meeting my family for the first time at this event?

Answers

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Nothing wrong with bringing a platonic friend, especially if he/she/they already know your family. 
    OliveOilsMomJediElizabethSP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd bring a person of your choice, and tell anyone who asks, "X is my plus-one for Sister's wedding. Beyond that, the nature of our relationship is a closed subject." It's not up to your sister that the person you bring be a "date" or even that you bring someone.
    OurWildKingdom
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'd bring a platonic friend with me, regardless of gender.  I think weddings for newly dating couples puts a lot of pressure on a couple.  The new person, who barely knows the gf/bf is meeting the entire family at once!  And if your family is as prone to inappropriate questions as you say, I wouldn't want to subject my new bf/gf to that yet.

    If anyone asks you about your guest, just say you are friends.

    AddieCakecharlotte989875OurWildKingdom
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    One of my bridesmaids who was single chose not to bring a date or plus one because she felt like people would be full of questions about who he was, were they dating, etc, that she didn't want to have to answer.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you don't want to bring just a friend then don't bring anyone.  Your sister can suck a big one with her expectation crap.

    [Deleted User]STARMOON44
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    2 of my 3 bridesmaids came without a date (including my MOH sister).  The wedding was still a success. 

    Bring someone only if you want to. 
  • If your sister has an exp[expectation of you having a date waht other kinds of expectations does she have for you? I would feel bad leaving a new person to fend for themselves every time you have to get her a drink, take pictures etc.


  • Bring whomever you would have the best time with - whether that be romantic date, platonic date, best friend, or no one.  You don't have to be all lovey dovey romantic at weddings.  In fact, I'm not sure I would classify any wedding I've been to as romantic (for guests at least) - they have all been about chatting up your friends and family, stuffing your face with (hopefully) delicious food, drinking, and dancing to old school hip hop.  I usually bring my best friend to weddings, even when I've been in a relationship at the time of the wedding, because she's a friggin' blast and loves weddings.
    OurWildKingdom
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    lnixon8 said:
    If your sister has an exp[expectation of you having a date waht other kinds of expectations does she have for you? I would feel bad leaving a new person to fend for themselves every time you have to get her a drink, take pictures etc.
    Why would OP have to get the bride a drink?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    holyguacamole79
  • We're thinking of doing a similar seating arrangement as your sister. Our Best Man is currently single/ casually dating, but we have no expectation for him to bring a plus one unless he wants to do so. 

    Ergo, I agree with PPs. Take a friend if you want, but don't feel pressured to bring anybody if you'd rather not. 
                        


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    OurWildKingdom
  • Our WP--a MOH and best man--were both single.  He elected not to bring a date; she was going to bring her mom as her plus one, but decided to come alone (her mom has lots of health issues and would have had a rough night even sitting at the table).  I think demanding someone bring a date is just as bad as demanding someone not bring their SO--does she want her head table to look "even" or something?  That's even weirder than wanting even sides for pictures.  
    OurWildKingdomtigerlily6OliveOilsMomJen4948
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    But if she doesn't bring a date then the whole look of the head table will be ruined because it will be UNEVEN!!!!

    holyguacamole79
  • AddieCake said:
    lnixon8 said:
    If your sister has an exp[expectation of you having a date waht other kinds of expectations does she have for you? I would feel bad leaving a new person to fend for themselves every time you have to get her a drink, take pictures etc.
    Why would OP have to get the bride a drink?
    Just an assumption. Usually people that put their vision of a head table above their sisters actually feelings on bringing a date, might have other ridiculous expectations for bridesmaids (hold my dress while I pee, make sure I eat something etc. 


  • Also find it weird that she "expects" you to bring a date. I have four bridesmaids; two are in relationships so will definitely have dates. One is my cousin who is single so I'm not expecting her to bring a date (although she is welcome to if she wants to), and my fourth is single but I'm pretty sure she is bringing a platonic friend she works with. All fine with me.

    Depending on the situation and if I knew a lot of people at the wedding, I'm with you - I'd rather go alone than with a friend who might not know anyone because I'd be afraid I'd feel like I'd be ditching them all night.
  • So what did you end up doing???  I think bringing a platonic friend would be fun!

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @Knottie1466018219, please stop bumping old posts.



    crowsgirl15
  • Viczaesar said:
    @Knottie1466018219, please stop bumping old posts.
    What does that mean???  I'm new here....
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    That means that if the thread more than a month or two old it's considered bad netiquette here to comment on them.



  • Viczaesar said:
    That means that if the thread more than a month or two old it's considered bad netiquette here to comment on them.
    Ah!  Thanks for letting me know!  I was just super curious about some of the discussions. My life is crap right now, so was having fun and feeling enlightened and uplifted by reading thru the posts. 
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