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Wedding Woes

Googling can lead to so much trouble.

Dear Prudence,
I was ordained online and am officiating at the wedding of daughter of a good friend this summer. While I know the daughter very well, I don’t know as much about her husband-to-be. In order to provide some anecdotes about him during the service, I Googled. I came across an article regarding his arrest for a truly concerning criminal accusation (it was definitely him, there was a picture). Because he is not on the sex offender registry, I do not believe he was convicted. I am no super-sleuth, and this information is readily available, so I assume my friend’s daughter knows about it, but I am not sure. Do I just keep my mouth shut? Do I mention it to my friend?

—Reluctant Minister

Re: Googling can lead to so much trouble.

  • I would feel obligated to bring this to her attention, especially if it involved some sort of sexual offense. Maybe talk to your friend? Just know that if you choose to bring this up, it could be the end of you being the officiant for their wedding should they chose to move forward with it.
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would bring this up with the bride specifically, but not the friend.  The bride is an adult and can make the decision herself to marry this person.  I would not tell my friend, as this has nothing to do with her.
  • I'm in agreement with discussing with the bride. I don't know if i would be ok officiating a wedding for the guy after finding this out. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Our officiant asked US questions to get amusing anecdotes and get to know us better. No Googling required. But I'd definitely mention to the bride.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    If you are going to say anything, you should say something to the bride. However, he was found innocent of the charges I don't see any problem with officiating.
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