DW of sorts & Bridal Shower

Knottie1448131004

I am in a bit of a predicament. My fiancé and I are planning on marrying in the summer of 2017 between my medical school rotations. I am a resident of the UK and it is where we're getting married. The vast majority of my family lives in the US along with many of my mother's cousins and friends. Recently, they've started to ask her about the wedding and a bridal shower. I honestly was going to forgo both a bridal shower and hen party because it meant people were going to be left out. e.g. those who could attend the bridal shower might not be able to attend the wedding, etc. 

What should I do? I wouldn't mind inviting my parent's cousins and friends to the wedding, but the financial outlay for them would be in the thousands. Also having a bridal shower also presents the problem of gifts. I no longer live in the US so while I might be given wonderful gifts, I wouldn't be able to bring them with me because of the cost to pack/shipping them. Help! 

ILoveBeachMusic

If you want to invite your US family and can afford it if they come, do so. It is up to them to decide if they can afford the cost of the trip to the UK - not you. If you are unwilling to cover the expense of shipping gifts to the UK from the US, decline the bridal shower. If someone in the UK offers a shower, I see no reason why you can't accept that if you want to do so.

JediElizabeth

Knottie1448131004 said:

I am in a bit of a predicament. My fiancé and I are planning on marrying in the summer of 2017 between my medical school rotations. I am a resident of the UK and it is where we're getting married. The vast majority of my family lives in the US along with many of my mother's cousins and friends. Recently, they've started to ask her about the wedding and a bridal shower. I honestly was going to forgo both a bridal shower and hen party because it meant people were going to be left out. e.g. those who could attend the bridal shower might not be able to attend the wedding, etc. 

What should I do? I wouldn't mind inviting my parent's cousins and friends to the wedding, but the financial outlay for them would be in the thousands. Also having a bridal shower also presents the problem of gifts. I no longer live in the US so while I might be given wonderful gifts, I wouldn't be able to bring them with me because of the cost to pack/shipping them. Help! 

@ILoveBeachMusic is right: an invitation is not a summons, and they can decline the invite if the travel is too much for them to make it to your wedding. I would invite them anyway, as long as you want them there and can afford it. Who knows, maybe some will surprise you & see it as a good excuse to travel.

As for the shower: how about suggesting a bridal luncheon or tea party instead? I understand not wanting to open gifts overseas, but this could actually be a good time to let those close to you who are invited to the wedding but can't make it still feel like they're involved & supporting you.

redoryx

The only rule is that anyone invited to the shower is invited to the wedding, so as long as the people you're concerned about are invited to both it doesn't matter if they are unable to attend your wedding.

With regards to gifts, I'd second the option for a bridal luncheon or tea instead. Showers are strictly gift-giving events but a luncheon is really just a get together (though same rule regarding invites applies).

glasgowtolondon

We have family in the US, we invited them assuming they would not attend due to cost etc however when they received the STD's they let us know they were looking into flights. People surprise you, and they often make the effort for a wedding that they might not otherwise make. Invite them and decline the shower, they can either come or not and you don't have to ship presents back to the UK.

Knottie1448131004

Thanks everyone! That really helps sort things out.  Wasn't sure what to do.