When to give bridesmaids their gifts?

jharrison07

I am having a destination wedding in Mexico.  I live in FL, majority of family and friends live in Maryland including 2 of the 3 members in my bridal party.  My bridal shower would be in Maryland.  So I know typically you present the gifts at the Rehearsal Dinner or sometime between then and the actual ceremony.  My thought since the wedding is destination and I will already be bringing a lot as will the bridal party I don't want them burdened with additional gifts so I was thinking of presenting them the gifts at my bridal shower which will be several months prior to the wedding based on me having to travel and everyone's availability (Projected June Bridal Shower, October Wedding).  I wanted everyone's thoughts on this.  Would it be perceived okay to present those gifts at the shower?  Or should I still bring them with me to give them in Mexico?

Also typically does your MOH gift exceed the other BMs gifts?  And I already purchased their dresses which were each about $300 so my thinking was under $50 for the gifts, do you think that is acceptable value to budget?

lnixon8

Don't present them at the shower. It's rude to other people (you can still give the host of the shower a small present).

$50 is fine to spend on bridesmaid presents. Just shop for them like it's their birthday. I spent AROUND the same amount for each bridesmaid but since I shopped for them as individuals I'm sure I didn't spend the exact same amount.

southernbelle0915

I wouldn't cart the gifts to Mexico. It's a burden for you and a burden for them (unless they're gift cards or something really small).

I agree with @lnixon8 that you don't want to do it in front of other guests, but I think you can meet them before the shower or pull them aside afterwards and do this privately.

AddieCake

Just get together with them privately before Mexico.

OurWildKingdom

southernbelle0915 said:

I wouldn't cart the gifts to Mexico. It's a burden for you and a burden for them (unless they're gift cards or something really small).

I agree with @lnixon8 that you don't want to do it in front of other guests, but I think you can meet them before the shower or pull them aside afterwards and do this privately.

To the bold: Depending on the gift, it could also cause problems with customs.

Jen4948

Do it privately before you go to Mexico.  They don't all have to be together when you give the gifts.

SP29

I agree- not right at the shower, as that would be rude to others. But some time privately before the wedding.

There is no price range or ranking for gifts (i.e. why the MOH gets more spent than the BM). It's a gift to thank them for standing up for you on your wedding day. Shop for them like it's their birthday. I always think that something small that someone actually likes is a much better gift than something bought to meet a price quota.

(My dad bought me a Royal Doulton doll that cost around $250 for Christmas one year, because he bought my brother's some large gifts- one got a computer- so he felt he had to buy for us equally. I honestly would've rather gotten something smaller that is useful, or the cash instead. It's not something I'll just give to the second hand store. So now I have an expensive porcelain doll sitting on my shelf...)

Knottie1466018219

I think giving them when the Wedding Weekend begins would be a nice welcoming gesture!

DrillSergeantCat

@knottie1466018219 it's considered rude in the forums to resurrect zombie posts. I've seen 7 that you've commented on that were started as long ago as January. Read them! Get the information you may need and move on. 

Knottie1466018219

DrillSergeantCat said:

@knottie1466018219 it's considered rude in the forums to resurrect zombie posts. I've seen 7 that you've commented on that were started as long ago as January. Read them! Get the information you may need and move on. 

DrillSergeantCat You don't like me telling you what to do. So please don't tell me what to do. This was a few days ago and you are just now commenting on it??  

DrillSergeantCat

Knottie1466018219 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

@knottie1466018219 it's considered rude in the forums to resurrect zombie posts. I've seen 7 that you've commented on that were started as long ago as January. Read them! Get the information you may need and move on. 

DrillSergeantCat You don't like me telling you what to do. So please don't tell me what to do. This was a few days ago and you are just now commenting on it??  

I wasn't telling you what to do, just informing you of how things are seen around here since you're new. And 2 days is completely acceptable whereas 6 months is not. 

Knottie1466018219

DrillSergeantCat said:

Knottie1466018219 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

@knottie1466018219 it's considered rude in the forums to resurrect zombie posts. I've seen 7 that you've commented on that were started as long ago as January. Read them! Get the information you may need and move on. 

DrillSergeantCat You don't like me telling you what to do. So please don't tell me what to do. This was a few days ago and you are just now commenting on it??  

I wasn't telling you what to do, just informing you of how things are seen around here since you're new. And 2 days is completely acceptable whereas 6 months is not. 

In all seriousness, is this a rule or just etiquette?

geebee908

It's good netiquette on these boards not to resurrect threads that have been dead, so to speak, for a few weeks. Look at the date of the last post, if it's more than say 3 or 4 weeks old, don't post unless you're the OP coming back to give an update on the situation. Old threads will be closed by the mods after 6 months.